We were just coming to the end of a fantastic period of high pressure. This was similar to last February but was slightly off to one-side of the UK and rather than bringing us the cold moist air that gave us the Beast from the East, we’d had warm dry air from the south and some record breaking February temperatures.

The start of the circle-up was delayed as the keys for the GM’s car had become locked inside a key safe, which wasn’t yet attached to the car and had been set to an unknown combination. When Overshot finally began everyone was relieved that he only included the minimum of local history. After a single announcement announcing the weekend’s POSH ride it was over to the hares Goolie and Lowtarse.

There was a fine choice of walkers’, short, medium and long. The trail had been laid on the left, right, centre and even under toadstools and so we all set off quite nervous that we’d ever find the trail. We needn’t have been concerned as it was well marked and the hares had done a great job of getting ahead to guide us at two road crossings.

Once we’d escaped from Modbury it was a fast and furious run along quiet roads until we turned left into fields for some soft grass and minor shiggy on our return journey to Modbury. The pace remained fast and furious and so I was glad to reach the beer stop where Goolie was doing a great job as barman with a fine selection of ales, ciders, wine and softies.

Back at the Modbury Inn we discovered that Rubbery had rescued Overshot’s keys from the key safe using a large hammer from his van. This left some hashers wondering why Rubbery needed such a tool on him. Perhaps the double glazing industry is quiet at the moment and he’s having to create some extra work for himself?

As usual at the Modbury Inn, Top Shelf was doing an amazing job serving great food at a fantastic price. Thanks to Top Shelf and his daughter for all their efforts! When Boaty came around for a second serving, Top Shelf remembered that he’d done the same on our previous visit six months ago. Does Boaty not get fed at home? Although he had been spotted skipping hand-in-hand with Bed Bug after the beer stop and so perhaps he was just hungry.

Top Shelf was very magnanimous and only mentioned the previous weekend’s rugby score once. The Jerk was the night’s RA and when he’d managed to herd the many hashers into the front bar, was one of the most excited RAs that I’ve ever seen while preaching from on top of his chair. There was more car news as two hashers had lost their keys and were waiting for a tow home; another hasher had got stuck in their seat and Rizzo had offered them a quick release! Streaky Shit had been living up to his name and had been having stomach problems and was worried that he’d have to use the “facilities” on the way around, but I believe that he’d made it around with the verge unscathed.

There were birthdays for Yuck and Rusty Bottom who were both different versions of 21 again. There was the usual tuneful singing that left many of the hash hounds leaping onto their owner’s knees as they were terrified by the wailing coming from the hash “choir”. Punctilly Arse returned to the hash after 13 weeks off for an injury. He must have been reading the dictionary while he’s been stuck inside on Wednesday evenings, as he commented on Piddler’s midnight micturition, which comes out in pints apparently.

Earlier in the evening Piddler had been having a very enthusiastic conversation at the bar with his hands flailing wildly to emphasise his point, when he sent Tight Arse’s pint flying. There’s probably no-one in the hash who’d be more upset at the loss of a drink that money had been spent on.

We were shown how two hashers had made it into the local newspaper for their forthcoming Interrail trip to visit the 27 remaining EU countries, before the UK does or doesn’t leave on March 29th: they’d even been interviewed on the local radio. Bon voyage Barbie and Pinky! It was highlighted that Goolie expects his co-hares to bring sandwiches with them and was upset when Lowtarse hadn’t fed him as expected. The consensus was that Goolie should be making his own butties in future. Perhaps he should be careful of the filling in any sandwiches that people do offer him?

The pub was thanked and down downs were awarded to the hares Goolie and Lowtarse, the birthday girls Yuck and Rusty Bottom and two as yet unnamed harriets who’ve been coming along for several weeks now. On on to The Durrant Arms, Ashprington.

* these values are all guessed from nearby weather stations and shouldn’t be completely trusted.