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HASH 1528 – ‘KINGS’BRIDGE
Starting off with a moan from the RA Gaffer: Where is the bridge in Kingsbridge?
So, a brief history lesson:
It’s a little known fact, but Devon was invaded by Fu Manchu in the 11th Century, and he pronounced himself King. King Fu built a ‘kings’ bridge to link his royal estates of Alvington and Chillington, and the Town took its name from this bridge… However, the town council decided to drop the Fu part after he was dethroned as it was proving bad for business. [Ed. Every day’s a school day. Just call him Over-Rudyard Kipling-Shot…]
The bridge was built some miles away from the centre of the Town, why? Only Fu the King knows. [Ed. Rearrange these words (and omit the ‘the’) to find the answer!]
Gaffer would have wanted this bridge to cross the Ria End [Ed. Ba-bum Tish!] so he could have short cut the last bit of the hash back to the On Home. He questioned/moaned why the hares hadn’t made everyone swim across.
Further information for Gaffer is that Kingsbridge/Salcombe Estuary/Ria is designated a Triple SI, (a Site of Special Scientific Interest), so washing off Gaffer’s bronzing at this location would have been extremely damaging to the Ria. [Ed. might’ve improved the colour of the water, though…] The Ria has also been upgraded to a quadruple SI, so swimming is also discouraged as it’s not safe (a Site of Special Scientific and Sewage Interest).
On to the Hash:
Who Gives a Shit confessed he had done a daytime recce, and had seen dots at Bowcombe (site of the original bridge, Gaffer) [Ed. clearly WGAS has given up in his attempts on WetSpot’s crown and now has Overshot’s in his sights…] . I know the hills that way and had feared the worst. Luckily, after the Circle Up, the hares sent us off in completely the opposite direction. Never listen to WGAS.
One virgin was introduced to the Hash as Igoa, which confused our GM no end. She kept asking where was he going? You have to follow the dots to find out Doggy Style!
Muckspreader then gave away the beer stop location, and followed this by sending the Longs and Shorts in the opposite direction. (To clarify, this was a different opposite direction from the direction first mentioned above… Clear?)
Off the Hash, went past the skate park and around an estuary path, past a very encouraging drunken mob/Happy Wednesday club in their front garden cheering us all on. Wetspot said he gets that everywhere he goes. [Ed. indignant shouting is not the same as cheering, WS…] The 3 lost causes (Olive, Barberella and Lowt’arse) decided to run into their garden and join them. This immediately shut up the cheerleaders, who hot-footed it inside and locked the doors.
Wetspot was feeling victimised as he was on a 5-in-a-row winning/losing streak of receiving down downs and was determined not to do anything to warrant a 6th. He still nicked a skate board off a teen and did a Kick flip followed by a 360 on the ramps 😮, jumped out of the corn field and scared Rizzo, stood on his glasses when getting changed, and forgot his wallet. So not that determined after all!
Up the first hill, Blown Off noticed my new shoes (been trying to keep that quiet…they are bright blue, though). I was more upset that he didn’t notice my new haircut. [Ed. Perhaps he was thinking the cut didn’t do much for you so was gently circumventing the issue with a more benign comment about your footwear…]
On several occasions on the hash it looked like the Hares were having a fight with each other, as there was flour everywhere. Nothing to do with Muckspreader, as he was in the office with his feet up and had told Nice Buns where to go [Ed. so thoughtful… 😂] .Nice Buns actually had a leaky water bottle in her bag, which gave one of the flour bags a soggy bottom, causing the flour massacre.
After a few missing checks (earlier sabotage by the naughty West Alvington Woods fairies), we regrouped at lovely beer stop in a wooded glade manned by our hash nice fairies, Nice Buns and ProFit. Seizing on the magical moment, I got down on one knee and proposed to Boaty, who gladly accepted my (Haribo) ring, but then went all hot flushed sweating profusely, like Niagara Falls. He said it was because he was putting a lot of effort in. [Ed. sounds like a classic fairytale of enchantment, suffused with the gnawing dread of a dawning realisation…]
Dirty Nights was left behind at the beer stop as she was so slow drinking the beer [Ed. you shouldn’t rush these things – as the Longs will attest: see below]. This annoyed Lactaster because she had to wait an age at the car owing to Dirty Nights having the keys.
It turned out to be a bad beer stop for the Longs as the stop was swiftly followed, burping and belching, by a mile-long run up a hill. The Strava geeks revealed afterwards that the hill was named ‘Big Ass Hill’ and that Overshot and Blown Off had recorded the same time. It was then voted by the hash at the RA that Overshot had the biggest ass. (Thanks a lot – the cheek of it!) [Ed. Still a win…of sorts 😂] .
For the record, Bit Of Ruff is the fastest recorded harrier up the Big Ass Hill back on 9 May 2018, Hash 1140.
On looking at the Strava Fly By this [Ed. Thursday] morning, it appeared that Pugsley did not confess to going completely wrong in West Alvington. He led Anchorman with him, but Anchorman decided to ignore the experienced Pugsley and turn back to find the right way!
Amongst others, Dimwit and Pimples‘s Steve, also ran the wrong way and through crosses at the end of the hash.
Undercovers struggled with Darky Lane’s three wheel ruts and went flying into the hedge.
Pimples couldn’t tell left from right, but still managed to get back [Ed. a hasher’s instinct for beer-detection is powerful; it has magically returned many an imperiled hasher to the trail when all other means of navigation have failed…]
After the previous RA’s of Nice Buns and Nice Tackle, we were treated to a ‘Horrible’ Gaffer RA. Happy Birthday was crooned to Live Wire on his 16th birthday, and thanks were given to the pub and the hares for a nice, sunny, scenic hash and beer stop.
Down Downs were awarded to:
- Muckspreader– For being the directing/sweeping hare.
- Pull The Udder– For being one of the actual laying hares
- Dirty Nights– For slow drinking at the beer stop.
- LiveWire – For his 16th Birthday
- Undercovers – For getting stuck in a rut.
- Olive– for getting the hump, or toes in a twist… Ask Lowt’arse.
On On to the Pickwick at ST ANN’S CHAPEL.
Overshot
Photo credit: Doggy Style
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a few more pictures from the regal Kingsbridge hash (well, mainly from inside/outside the Creek’s End, as it turns out…) on 28th May 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1529 – ST ANN’S CHAPEL – 4th June, 2025
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Bigbury Memorial Hall Car Park
St Anne’s Chappel
TQ7 4HQ
What3Words: https://what3words.com/assess.downhill.stoops
DON’T PARK IN THE CARPARK BEHIND THE VILLAGE SHOP
ON DOWN:
Pickwick Inn
Old Chapel Street
St Anne’s Chapel
What3Words: https://what3words.com/garages.playfully.yours
Hares: Nutcracker & Know Nuts
For further info, please see the Hash 1529 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 4th June, 2025) to the Hash 1529 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at St. Ann’s Chapel on 4th June, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (8th June, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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