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HASH 1531 – DARTINGTON
Nice Buns was originally selected for the words but, although in attendance, was not staying for the down-downs, therefore – much to his surprise – Nice Tackle was duly asked to do them. Although the N’s were being touted a few weeks back, and the O’s were mentioned last week (leading NT to believe he had dodged scribe duties for a while), someone mentioned our GM is doing the alphabet backwards! [Ed. yes, not so fast there, NT…!]

Hashers arrived on what was a beautiful, balmy evening in Dartington. The What3Words took us to a car park which got the assembled group in a bit of sweat as, after scrutinising the information next to the pay-and-display machine, it could not be established if the parking was free or not! Despite our esteemed hare, Squashed Balls, assuring us it was free (do we believe everything a hare says…?), the group were reaching for their smartphones to dig deeper into the car parks T&C’s! Pony Shafter was not prepared to take any chances, and actually paid twice for a ticket. [Ed. overkill, some might think…but they’ are the uninitiated/carefree-oblivious: no amount of money seems to assuage the parking gods!]. He said he had been part of the ‘Challaborough Five’ [Ed. stricken down by the those parking deities on Boxing Day 2023] and was not going to be caught out on this occasion. Must have missed that instalment of Enid Blyton’s adventure series! [Ed. an early prototype for – but, remarkably, not nearly as popular as – the ‘Famous Five’; definitely lighter on ginger beer…and rather heavier on expletives.]

Squashed Balls reminded the assembled hashers, if they wanted pizza, to give their orders before the hash to ease demand on the kitchen later. Our stand-in GM, Olive, called the Circle-Up and asked for any announcements – she said the details for the upcoming Red dress run on 19th July 2025 are being finalised, and more information will be posted soon. However, she gave the tip that x2 red dresses would be required: one for the hash and one for the evening. Not sure the male hashers have that sort of flexibility with their wardrobes! [Ed. Methinks he doth protest too much… For too long have the hash menfolk been constrained by the one-red-dress rule: suspect the opportunity to pick out two frocks will, I’m sure, be welcomed with open arms!]

Jyde also gave the heads up that next week’s hash at Ermington is the annual mid-summer BBQ at his and Hekkel‘s, and that, although he supplies the BBQs and salads/sides, hashers are please to bring their preferred food for the grill (meat/fish/other?). He is also in negotiations on the provision of a possible barrel of beer, although hashers can bring their own favourite tipple, if preferred.

Before handing over to the hare, and it being circa 24-degrees C in the shade, Olive thought we needed a warm up [Ed. !!!], which included running around in circles – and maths! [Ed. too cruel, for the heat-addled hashing brain] It also messed with people’s watch-settings/Strava [Ed. not that any of us care about that sort of thing, of course… 👀]

Squashed Balls duly gave some sketchy information as to what to expect on the hash, with some confusing Long Short splits, including Long Longs with Short Shorts – must have been the heat [Ed. generous…😆]. The Walkers were warned that the Walk was fairly short, and that the marks would be clear as to the route (more about that later). In true SH4-style, the important H&S information was duly given – i.e. everyone should be mindful to check for ticks following the hash… And something about getting the tick in the box…

With the important business concluded, the pack was finally let loose and took off into the hot evening. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the first check, which took most hashers through a tight bush [Ed. steady on, NT, this is family publication], but some wise hashers just carried on a few metres and were able to run around and short-cut [Ed. /cheat…] the battle with the vegetation. The use of checks soon dried up, which Gaffer keenly pointed out [Ed. so unlike him…], and it didn’t take long for the field to stretch out, with FRB’s leading the way. The pack followed on up a fairly steep ascent to a churchyard, which included a rapid weave through the freshly-cut grass tracks around the graves. On-on through some nicely manicured fields, where Wetspot was seen to take in the views on a well-placed bench [Ed. suspiciously mischief-free behaviour…it must be a trap!].

It was then out into the lanes, which afforded little shade from the sweltering temperature, the heat reflecting up from the tarmac. The cry of ‘too much road!’
was heard amongst the various On-On calls.

The heady scent of Honeysuckle and Meadowsweet was evident running through the lanes [Ed. a little treat for the hay fever-sufferers among the hash], and we had some welcome relief from the heat as the trail wound through some picturesque villages.

Our hare was seen sweeping at various points from the comfort of his air-conditioned Mercedes, although it came in handy as he was able to ‘Cas-evac’ a slightly heat-affected hasher back to base.

The trail back took us along a river bank, which led us to believe we might get our feet wet, but instead we were treated to ploughing through some thick nettles, which are particularly potent this time of the year – and to which Anchorman’s legs testified at the On-down [😣].

Shaggy saved Muckspreader and Blown Off from more miles as they missed the O/H mark [Ed. well, actually only the ‘H’ element of it…but. critically, ‘O’ bears quite a close resemblance to an un-kicked check, in flour font] and were about to head off in the wrong direction.

Once back at the venue, Things Happen Here, the pack were soon tucking into their pre-ordered pizzas, which made the less-organised quite envious, as they looked so good. Thankfully, the well-manned kitchen was able to take extra orders, providing more pizza for hungry hashers.

Our versatile stand-in GM was also the RA for the evening, so called the collective to order. Squashed Balls was thanked for laying the hash whilst slightly incapacitated, following a squash-related injury in Denmark [Ed. hero] . He was supposed to receive help from Lazy Git, but he lived up to his name and was absent! SB was also thanked for what was virgin territory and a new location for the down-downs. Think it was a hit for most.

Olive asked the pack whose birthday it was today, promising a down-down for the correct answer: the clue offered was a famous singer, which ruled Wetspot out! [Ed. so cruel, NT: I’m sure he has a lovely singing voice…👀] Pugsley guessed correctly with Paul McCartney.

Georgie Porgie and Piltdown Man felt lonely tonight; they managed to decipher the instructions at the start and did the Short Shorts, which was only 1.5 miles, although very technical at the end. However, Piltdown Man, who has joined the Hash Slimming-World Collective, was congratulated for shedding a whole stone in weight.

The Walkers, Gary Glitter, Pony Shafter and co., managed to go wrong and did 4 miles! [Ed. Sounds as though they have signs on the FRB ranks…!] This included Gary G talking to people whom she thought were fellow hashers for quite a while, only to realise they were a couple out for a quiet stroll.

Dimwit was seen running around in the car park at the end to get his miles up; had he joined in with the pre-hash aerobics he would not have had to do the extra
loop [Ed. no, but he may have wilted from heat-exhaustion before reaching the end of the trail…so, y’know: swings and roundabouts.]

In other news: Nokkers and Jyde got lost but managed to get back unscathed [Ed.🎉] ; WGAS was seen with his top off, displaying his x1 pack; Barbarella was congratulated for completing a recent running event, ‘Race the Tide’; Triple Top was well-chuffed, having been awarded a trophy on Strava, only to be bumped down a place when Blown Off loaded up his Strava time! It was also reported that Nice Tackle had been buzzing all around the hash tonight and people were wondering what he had about his person! NT got lost on every check tonight [Ed. er, just checking everyone else got that…?] to which Gaffer was heard to say ‘he only got lost once, then’! [Ed. Me.Ow!!]

Down–Downs were awarded to:

• Barbarella – for ‘Race the Tide’ participation
• Piltdown Man – for losing a stone in weight
• Pugsley – correctly naming Paul McCartney birthday
• WGAS – for displaying his one pack
• Lazy Git – for standing up the hare
• Squashed Balls – Hare

On-On to ERMINGTON
Summer BBQ at Jyde’s House: bring your own sausage…

Photo credit: Beefy

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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a few more pictures from the delightful (but diabolically-humid) Dartington hash on 18th June 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣: 

HASH 1532 – ERMINGTON: MIDSUMMER BBQ HASH! 🌞 🍢🍔🔥 25th June, 2025

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm

Ermington Village Square
The Square
Ermington
PL21 9LP

What3Words: https://what3words.com/shredder.inflame.regress

ON DOWN:

Chez Hekkel and Jyde

Summer BBQ FOOD:
Bring your own meat/falafel/other to cremate on the supplied BBQs. Rolls/salads provided.
Modest selection of drinks will be available, but BYO if you have a particular preference.

Hares: Twisted Sister & Lowt’arse

For further info, please see the Hash 1532 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 25th June, 2025) to the Hash 1532 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , when available.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Ermington on 25th June, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (29th June, 2025) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs once you’re safely back. 

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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