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HASH 1538 – CHURCHSTOW
The Circle Up went well: Twitch and Kevin were ecstatic to see each other again, without the white powderpuff getting between them [Ed. while Kevin had been valiant in his defence of Twitch last week, I’m not sure any of us were quite ready for a dramatic sequel just yet]. Then on to The Words: Muckspreader was nominated, but Nice Buns was quick to say he could not do The Words as he was not going to the pub (and she would have had to do them anyway!). Feeble excuse, I thought, so I was stuck with having to follow on from Nice Buns’ brilliant words from last week and Squash Balls’ notes on the backside of a china cow, who’s ear he managed to take off! [Ed. in SB’s defence, the bovine moneybox in question was not exactly anatomically sound, being heavily reliant on some fairly ancient-looking Blu-Tack to keep it from falling utterly apart at the slightest touch.] 

During the Circle Up the hare, Spotty Botty, said quite clearly – three times – that all the marks were on the right, and if they were on the left you were not on trail. Quite clear, you would think, but not for hashers: at the first check, nearly all the hash went the wrong way, even though the marks were clearly on the left. [Ed. You say ‘wrong’, but this was undoubtedly the right direction to run the trail to ensure we hit all those excruciating hills on an upwards trajectory. It also doesn’t account for anyone whom might have run backwards looking for marks over their shoulder, of course…😁] The only two super-heroines to get it right were myself and Olive, though we did have some advice from the 40yr-Old-Virgin (Spotty’s brother, I think [Ed. affirmative]). As a result, most of the hash ran it back to front. The plus side was it made the hash very social, as we passed each other on the way round – a bit like stripping the willow [Ed. sorry – I’ve got nothing…🤷‍♀️ Is it Morris-dancing terminology??], I thought. Twitch was very excited as she saw Kevin again. On the other hand, having got us going the right way round, the 40yr-Old-Virgin got a bit lost and led us though a few fields of stubble before finding the trail again. Poor Twitch’s paws were red raw, and she was about to give up – until she saw Kevin in the distance [Ed. and her little doggy cup runneth over!] .

Talking about Kevin, apparently he is a proper hasher and followed the trail consistently while his human, our esteemed GM, short-cutted! [Ed. scandalous…or exemplary hashing behaviour; very much depends who you’re talking to, doesn’t it Gaffer…? 😘]

In other news, there was a swimming contingent including Lady Godiva who, as her name suggests, had to take off her clothes to swim [Ed. had to…?]. Other swimmers were Py, Good Shag and possibly Fob Jockey, as the latter two were reported to be going commando in the pub [Ed. or perhaps they both just preferred the freedom of one less layer? It was a humid evening, after all].

Jyde and Know Nuts were outed for their lack of chivalry in abandoning Nokkers. Jyde apparently went even further towards delinquency by not kicking out a check [Ed. there was some rumour that he was awaiting GM-authorisation, but I’m not sure I buy it…].

Congratulations were given to Shaggy as it was her 15th wedding anniversary, and commiserations as she was spending it hashing [Ed. au contraire – it’s hashing that makes it work!] . Yeuk and Gaffer are close to celebrating their 44th, but there is some doubt they will reach it as Gaffer hit the car and Yeuk was not happy [Ed. but concealed it well 😆😘].

At the down downs, Squash Balls told a joke about a salmon and the ‘titanic verses’ which surprised everyone, as it was clean and funny! [Ed. required some time investment – and there were a few dissenting voices that suggested not everyone had the will/stamina to stay with it to the denouement – but that just made the long-awaited punchline all the funnier 😆] There was some comment about Can’t Come and tee shirts which I did not quite get. [Ed. I think I missed that. Too distracted by the (aforementioned) crumbling ceramic cow, which seemed to be losing body parts faster than the SH4 Slimming World contingent are shedding pounds!] 

Down Downs were given too:

• Jyde and Know Nuts for un-chivalrous behaviour
• Good Shag and Fob Jockey for going commando
• Gaffer for hitting the car
• Spotty for a brilliant trail with the best views
• The 40yr-Old-Virgin for haring brilliantly.

On On to (near) CORNWOOD

Photo credit: Doggy Style

🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a few pictures from the back-to-front Churchstow hash on 30th July 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣: 

HASH 1539 –  6 August, 2025

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Location approx. 0.5 miles from the Cornwood Inn
What3Words: https://w3w.co/grub.norms.matter

❗Limited parking at Circle Up site❗
Consider parking at Cornwood Inn and car-sharing (or walking/running…?) to start of the hash.

ON DOWN:
Cornwood Inn
The Square, Cornwood, Ivybridge, Devon, PL21 9PU
What3Words: https://w3w.co/reserve.appealing.eternity

🍔 Food available at the pub 🍔

Hare: Triple Top

For further info, please see the Hash 1539 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 6th August, 2025) to the Hash 1539 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page (when it’s been created!).

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at CORNWOOD on 6th August, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (10th August, 2025) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom / Doggy Style before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs once you’re safely back. 

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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