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Ed. Another masterful Words submission this week: I have elected to not interfere with (near) perfection – bar the usual protestation about not, in fact, having fallen over (which I recognise precisely no-one will accept) – and present Gomez‘ s thematic offering in all its wordplaying wonder for your general delight. Behold:
HASH 1547 – BANTHAM
The SH4 piggy pirates assembled on the Quay next to the Sloop, having disembarked from their ship ‘The Pink Pig’ a short time ago. I was ruminating on why a pig is pink, but I gave up: there are sow many reasons. Captain DOGGYSTYLE was holding forth to her piggy pirates, but I wasn’t listening. I was talking to BOATY about my imminent jumping ship. He was very close to me. In fact, he was buccaneer! Suddenly, silence fell. I glanced up to note that all eyes and patches were upon me. I bacon to panic. What hogwash had I missed? It dawned on me that I had just been press-ganged into writing The Words. Either that or walking the plank. I started to protest but gave up. It was coming my way schooner or later. Trouble is, I find it difficult to write using the pirate alphabet. It only has 10 letters: ‘I I’ , ‘R’, and the seven ‘C’s. Captain DOGGYSTYLE was fierce, not taking no for an answer. KEVIN just scallywagged his tail in agreement.
I paid attention. First mate NUTCRACKER and the cabin boy JYDE were spouting words of doom. The treasure trail was either 2, 3 or 5 nautical miles long. I refrained from porking fun at these outrageous tales, but did agree with having to take care if we run on the cliff path. You don’t want to fall into the sea – it can be very choppy at this time of year.
We jostled down the mainstream towards the open sea. Frightened peasants ran inside their cottages and locked the doors. On On we ran (some of us; others limped, hopped or rolled ) egged on to the Ham. Our torches were burning bright against the dark sky, and there were many oathes and curses shouted into the night wind. SHAGGY fell again (It is such a bad habit that she can’t seem to break). Fortunately, she was not hurt this time and I was pleased: it’s not nice to have a cutlass. In fact, there were no serious injuries this week, so no need for a hambulance.
There were squeals of delight from piggies DEBRIEFED and GOODHEAD. They thought that they were leading the attack, but, no: NICE BUNS had taken a leaf from ‘ The Book of OVERSHOT‘ and had deliberately sent them scurrying the wrong way.
Across the shifting quicksand we ran, up onto the cliffs, crossing a dangerous place where the locals attack with clubs. I found myself alone, a line of flares ahead of me and a longer line behind me. I wasn’t worried. I have sailed these parts for the last 40 years and wasn’t about to get lost. I even ended up running past two of my old home ports. I caught up with BO PEEP. Her head flare had run out of fuel, but I was able to relight an old hand torch and give it to her.
Elsewhere, it transpired that WETSPOT, that regular offender, had put out his torch and was holding forth on the merits of shortcutting. ‘I’m a purist’ he was heard to say in a hypocritical way. We ran through fields wherein BOATY was having trouble differentiating between cows and sheep. Must get him a new eyeglass before we sail again.
There were many hills, mostly up. I felt a twinge in my leg and thought I may have pulled a hamstring. But no, it soon went and my trotters carried on back to the ale house. All the piggy pirates felt at home there – it is very ‘stylish’. One ‘rasher’ hasher was late returning having taken a dip in the briny. Must be an aquaholic.
The Sloop was busy, manned by just two deckhands who efficiently handed out many jugs of ale and plates of food. The ‘pieces of skate’ were particularly good, I understand. Apparently, our two deckhands were not informed that our crew were coming…”Like most Harriets,” LAZY GIT wryly observed. Good to see and hear that the ‘Pink Pig’ crew is getting its fun back. We should all get along, even if we don’t see aye to aye.
SQUASHED BALLS was promoted to RA for the night. He had ‘written’ his notes on a handy cuttlefish bone which would later be given to YEUK’s parrot.( Not GAFFER, the African Grey ). We thanked the Hares: aarrgh, it was a good venture. The ale house was thanked, especially JAMIE for much extra unexpected work. General cheers for endurance were given to GENITAL HEAT RASH and COME TONIGHT on the occasion of their 41st splicing anniversary.
Tankards of ale were awarded to:
- JYDE/NUTCRACKER – trail-setting swabs;
- WETSPOT – a shortcutting powder monkey;
- GHR/COME TONIGHT – cohabiting shipmates for 41 years;
- YEUK – for owning the ship’s parrot;
- BOATY – a farm-blind deckhand.
ON ON to BUCKFASTLEIGH!
Photo credit: Doggy Style
🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a few more photos from the sun-bathed Bantham hash on 1st October 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1548 – 8th October, 2025
BUCKFASTLEIGH
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Outside The Dartbridge Inn
Totnes Road
Buckfastleigh
TQ11 0JR
What3words: driven.memo.warms
ON DOWN:
Inside The Dartbridge Inn
Hares: Piltdown Man and Georgy P Orgy
For further info, please see the Hash 1548 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 1st October, 2025) to the Hash 1548 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at BUCKFASTLEIGH on 8th October, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (12th October, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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🍻🐷👣🌟 SH4 AGPU 🌟👣🐷🍻
Dear all,
It’s that time of year again, hashers…
We are excited to announce that the AGPU will take place on 15th October at The Station House Cafe in South Brent.
This is a wonderful opportunity to get together, vote for your new committee, and celebrate with an awards night. Who will receive the prestigious magic trainer award…? *Drum roll…*
To make the evening even more enjoyable, supper will be provided courtesy of the Hash. We’ll share the menu soon, so be sure to save the date!
If you are interested in taking on a role, please let the GM know. We’re looking forward to welcoming new ideas and enthusiasm to the new committee.
See you very soon!
Love, Olive and The Committee XX
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UPCOMNG SH4 EVENTS
⛄🌟🎅🏻🌟🎄 NOW SOLD OUT!!! 🎄🌟🎅🏻🌟⛄
We can’t wait to see you all at the Start Bay Centre, Slapton on Saturday 29th November (and Friday 28th November, if you’ve signed up for the bonus extra FREE night!) for what promises to be a spectacular edition of the beloved SH4 Pre-Christmas Hash Bash. Don’t forget your tinsel (or other, more sustainable festive adornments)!
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If you’ve booked to attend this super-value weekend of entertainment, please pay the full amount (£50) to the SH4 account asap to secure your place (account details below and also on the poster):
Account name: SH4
A/c no. 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom / Doggy Style before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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