HASH 1558 – DARTINGTON
Much to his surprise, Nice Tackle found himself selected as this week’s scribe. Whether this was the result of our GM’s highly scientific random-selection method or simply déjà vu is unclear—but it was from the same venue as last time. Five months and 23 hashes later…but who’s counting? (He is. And he’s not bitter.) (Ed. ahh, serendipity: such a cruel mistress!)
Pre-Hash
Most hashers arrived fuelled by Chilli Con Carne and Crumble (Ed. Overshot had eaten nothing else since Saturday night lucky so and so…) , still glowing from the extremely jovial Pre-Xmas Hash Bash weekend. Thanks were offered to everyone who helped clean up, with special mention to Whisperer, who heroically absorbed the remaining Christmas cake and an alarming quantity of Stella Artois. A true service to the hash. (Ed. he’ll be knighted one of these days, surely…)
The car park at Dartington was dimly lit, but spirits were high and the weather mercifully dry. Many were pleased to return to ‘Things Happen Here’, fondly remembering the fine pizzas enjoyed in the summer (Ed. it was a few degrees cooler on Weds.).
The Trail
The hares had spent the afternoon adjusting their meticulously planned route after discovering the Forestry Commission had chopped down most of it (Ed. rude). They promised the Longs 5.5 miles; the actual delivery was “four-ish” (Ed. or five-ish…). This at least prevented a few mileage-hungry hashers from feeling the need to divert to Hallsands courtesy of Dirty Nights (Ed. phew).
Anchorman led proceedings, ably assisted by Beef Curtains—at least in theory. BC turned up sporting a heavily bandaged, “boxing-glove” right hand after injuring a finger with a flight case. Possibly exaggerated? Almost certainly. Milked for sympathy? Entirely. Still, full praise for not letting his marshmallow mitt impede him. (Ed. Kudos. And such a pretty fracture X-ray!) Trail markings were… let’s call it “creative”—left, right, random—yet somehow still functional. Through the woods, an eery mist rose. Or that might’ve just been Blown Off’s breath. Muckspreader didn’t care for it and refused to check alone. He was also repeatedly fooled by owls hooting “On-On,” but we’ve all been there. (Ed. generous, NT 😆)
Footwear Fiasco
Oui Oui arrived to discover she’d brought the wrong shoes—ones that had split from sole to upper. After Dimwit surprisingly failed to produce any electrical tape, WGAS stepped in with good old bailer twine. The resulting repair job was so effective it
looked like stylish Greek beach sandals. A fashion icon in the making.
Meanwhile, Undercovers flaunted a brand-new pair of “Ultra Wild Experience” shoes. Whether he bought them for their trail performance or the Durex-inspired branding remains unclear. (Ed. There were a few overtly-nonchalant enquiries of Undercovers for purchase details…)
Blown Off, bored or inspired (hard to tell), decided mid-run to design his own personal trail, creating a Strava route in the shape of a reindeer. Seasonal commitment noted.
Back at ‘Things Happen Here’, the pizzas flowed (Ed. I would take issue with ‘flow’ as the verb choice here but, as I’m struggling to come up with anything more suitable [‘spun’? ‘Proliferated’??], I am reluctant to abandon editorial pedantry on this occasion…). Lazy Git generously offered half of his to Nice Tackle—ever the gentleman.
Overshot was again pinged to RA but undeterred and ever the professional hasher he is, delivered a truly factual rendition of events.
We then welcomed a new Harriet to the tribe: Jules, who has thrown herself into SH4 life with enthusiasm, including a brilliant Roald Dahl skit at the Pre-Xmas bash. Name suggestions ranged from Revolting Rhymes to Buster Rhymes, but the
deciding influence was the mysterious graffiti adorning her dirty car. And so she is now officially: Dirty Bum Bum. Congratulations! (Ed. has a lovely cadence to it – I’m sure she’ll grow to love it…😬)
Down-downs were awarded to:
- Anchorman – Hare
- Beef Curtains – Hare
- Undercovers – New Shoes
- Muckspreader – HOD Hare
- Oui Oui – All Tied Up
- Whisperer – (For heroic cake/Stella disposal)
- Dirty Bum Bum (Jules) – Naming
ON ON to PLYMPTON
Photo credit: Rubbery
🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a few more snaps from the truncated-by-tree-felling Dartington hash on 3rd December 2025 by heading to the lovingly-crafted Hash 1558 photo album on the SH4 Facebook page. 📸 🏃🍻
🌟
👣