Hash 1598 – KINGSTON

Much to his surprise, Nice Tackle found himself selected as this week’s Scribe. With the words of ‘Bristol Brenda’ ringing in his ears, he thought, “Not another one…” But, like Jyde last week, he was wrong-footed and had no real riposte, so his demonstrations fell on deaf ears. This did, however, prompt him to question which country’s alphabet was being used, as he was pretty sure there were a few letters between J and N in the English version! (Ed. there are no rules in hashing! Not even the commonly-accepted linguistic ones by which everyone else abides…)

Circle Up
Enthusiastic hashers of SH4 soon filled The Dolphin’s car park. A new month had arrived, and the weather had taken a turn, meaning head torches were being dusted off, batteries checked, and spares conveniently located in cars (Ed. what a good boy scout!). The Circle Up was well attended, and we welcomed five virgins:

• Lee & Lesley, our latest Ermington residents.
• Emily, daughter of Hot Pants.
• Tommy & Taia, accompanied by Doggy Style — apparently, she has lots… We’re not entirely sure what she has lots of, but it sounds like something we should probably discuss privately.

Rubbery announced the final chance to purchase the 1600th hash/eclipse T-shirts and made an impassioned plea for six more shirts to be sold, otherwise SH4 may have to raid the coffers and subsidise the cost. The pressure is on!

Rizzo announced that the Devon A2B this Saturday was going to be the best one yet, with a plethora of hares, good weather booked and fantastic views guaranteed. What more could a hasher want?

Our esteemed hare, Dulux, then painted a virtual picture of tonight’s trail, complete with precise Health & Safety information. There was something about taking care around a steep cliff, although fortunately a natural handrail was close at hand and apparently would be of assistance (Ed. ‘natural handrail’ 😆 A glittering career in fiction-writing awaits, Dulux! 😘).  A steep cliff, a natural handrail and Dulux explaining Health & Safety. Frankly, what could possibly go wrong? And with that, they were off!

On Trail
There were several reports of hashers being spooked tonight.
Virgin Lesley’s dog, Luna, was soon frightened by Boaty, who appeared to be running at an alarming speed tonight.
Anchor Man was also spooked by what sounded like a cow between him and the cliff. Closer investigation revealed that the offending bovine was actually Muckspreader, who had apparently been making his presence known from the rear. (Ed. oo-er! A troubling aspect [or, rather, ass-pect…] in the context of cows 👀😆)

Virgin Taia was concerned that, in addition to cows, she could hear a pig snorting. Fortunately, she soon discovered that it was an old man behind her. Doggy Style reassured her: “Don’t worry, it’s just a hasher — Gaffer.”

The emergency phone was also ringing constantly, as a concerned hasher desperately tried to locate the natural feature/hedge/handrail that had featured so prominently in Dulux’s Health & Safety briefing. (Ed. I’d have recommended keeping both hands free for that path…)

Reports on the Snack Attack were very positive, with cheese, Cabernet and Stilton all receiving good reviews. But the real star of the evening was undoubtedly the pigs in blankets. They were outstanding. Christmas will soon be here. (Ed. and that is some advance prep I can get behind!) Sadly, Undercovers, running in position four on the Longs, discovered that the pigs in blankets were no more. Those pesky shorts were to blame

Back at the Pub
Back in the pub, Lazy Git demonstrated impeccable gentlemanly behaviour by giving up his seat for Yeuck. Chivalry is clearly not dead at SH4.

Meanwhile, our Committee Finance Director suffered something of a meltdown when presented with a parchment receipt for some ancient down-downs. Assurances were given that it would be paid.

Virgin Emily had wisely been briefed by Mum (Hot Pants) that a change of clothes after the hash would be advisable. Emily took the advice on board. Unfortunately, she interpreted it as “put your clean clothes over your running kit”. (Ed. brilliant. I love that this was accepted, unquestioned, as entirely plausible hash standard operating procedure…)  Hot Pants can rest assured that her daughter is already embracing the fundamental hashing principle of doing what you’re told, but not necessarily what was intended. She’ll settle in nicely…

And so ended another entertaining evening with SH4 — plenty of virgins, plenty of scares, questionable noises, mysterious bovines, disappearing pigs, ancient financial paperwork and at least one hasher who may require further instruction in the delicate art of changing clothes.

Same time next week, presumably, with J through N safely accounted for. Although, I wouldn’t put money on it, given recent interpretations of the alphabet. (Ed. which I think may also feature more than one ‘G’…)

Down-downs

• Dulux– Hare
• Reject – Fellow hare/birthday, not sure
• Nice Tackle – Birthday
• Emily – Virgin
• De-briefed – 100 milestone Tee
• Fob Jockey – 100 milestone Tee & Birthday

ON, ON  to ERMINGTON

Photo credit: Good Head

🏃 📸 🍻 You can see more photos from the cliff-top Kingston hash by checking out the Hash 1598 photo album 🏃 📸

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣 
HASH 1599 – 9th September 2026 
ERMINGTON

CIRCLE UP: 7.25pm

The Square, Ermington, PL21 9LP
///shredder.inflame.regress

ON DOWN:
The Crooked Spire, Ermington Square

Hares: Py & CowPat
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For more info, please see the Hash 1599 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 9th September, 2026) to the Hash 1599 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at ERMINGTON on 9th September, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (13th September, 2026) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

 📣👕  2026 Solar Eclipse and SH4 1600th celebration T-shirts 📣👕

If you haven’t already, please cough up the readies for your T-shirt orders!

Catch up with Rubbery on Wednesday to handover your paper pounds, or hop online to pay by BACS:

Account name: SH4
A/c no. 00263482     Sort code: 30-94-72

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Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back. 

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