The Words according to HEKKEL
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Before we get onto the usual entertainments of The Words from last week’s hash, there are a few Pretty Important Things to share, that the Committee asks you’ll indulge it by reading before scrolling to the account of who fell over/got lost/short-cutted/committed some other heinous/hilarious misdemeanour in the course of running the 9th October trail:
First, for those who may have missed it on the ‘Keep on Hashing…’ Facebook Messenger group (or who do not participate in such comms channels for whatever reason[s]), a message (from Friday 11 October) from SH4 stalwarts, Tyred Bunny and Gary Glitter:
“Hi,
“In the last few months, various hashers have asked Gary Glitter & me, as experienced hashers and independent of any recent events, to intervene on various issues. The Mis-Management agreed and asked us to sit in on the recent committee meeting (held over two evenings).
“During a potentially v. difficult meeting last night [Thursday 10 October], much was discussed in a reasonable & harmonious way. Everyone was heard (including an observer); decisions reached on all troubling matters including responsibility boundaries (external organisations/SH4, SH4/hashers, & hashers with other hashers); and apologies were made.
“It is now time for all to bury the hatchet on personal matters, implement decisions made by the committee (even if they don’t agree with them), and move on. On that basis, I won’t be engaging in any further discussions on any of the matters because they have been dealt with and are now closed. Further, I will advise anyone else concerned to avoid doing so as well: To carry on discussing them will achieve nothing other than add further to any bad feelings.
On-on, Tyred Bunny & GG”
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🌟 🎄⛄PRE-CHRISTMAS HASH WEEKEND ⛄🎄 🌟
If you have signed up for the exciting Pre-Christmas Hash Weekend at Grenville House, Brixham, payment is now due – please pay your £40 pp to the SH4 account asap as payment is owed to the venue.
Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
If you have any questions/problems, or would like to sign up and haven’t yet, please see/contact Filth (sharpish! 😉).
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!!! NEW !!!
In response to hashers’ feedback, and in order to enhance safety measures at SH4, there is now a new
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Please make a note of this number and add it to your phone.
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .
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!!! (OLD IDEA, BUT) NEW !!!
Thanks to some app-building wizardry by the clever Whisperer, there is now a new digital checking-out/checking-in system (just like the old names board: red when out on trail; green on return) now in operation!
🌟 Be sure to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong at the start of the evening to make sure you’re recorded as heading out on the trail – and, very importantly, once you’re safely back. 🌟
This record also doubles as registering your run for the evening, thereby adding to your run total*.
The SH4 hash phone is also used to operate the check-out/in system.
*See next item (below) for more on this.
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HASH RUN TOTALS – Update
The committee is aware that, for quite some time, record-keeping in terms of individual hashers’ run counts has been ‘patchy’ (to coin a somewhat inadequate phrase) and the current ‘On Secs – with support from others on the committee – and have been working very hard to try and reconcile historical records and recent, more complete run totals in order to build a better picture of these totals.
While it is readily acknowledged that many of the run counts generated will still represent an incomplete view of actual runs completed, the intention is to publish the totals given as a result of the available run data by Christmas, and to give hashers the opportunity to query/update these with the ‘On Sec in the New Year. (Child hashers’ totals will be fast-tracked in recognition of the fact that – for these SH4 members especially – the number of hashes run is a pretty big deal.)
The committee understands that there has been (and undoubtedly still is) frustration among hashers around the length of time that it is taking to resolve this issue (a consequence of the amount and complexity of data records to be processed by volunteers, alongside their day jobs – and lives generally!), but is committed to getting it sorted as quickly and accurately as possible.
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‘EALTH & SAFETY
After some lengthy discussions, and in response to concerns from among the hash, there have been some extensive revisions to SH4’s ‘Heath & Safety’ words on the SH4 website:
Stayin’ Alive
Please also see the SH4 Home Page, where you’ll find a ‘Pocket Guide’ (by comparison….) that you/newbies might find help to take a quick phone photo of or print out to (waterproof in advance and) keep in your lycra pocket.
🌟 Please have a careful read of these new lines 🌟
These have been put together with the intention of giving everyone greater confidence in embarking on a hash trail, and in the knowledge that there are appropriate ‘safety nets’ in place to offer protections/help if and when things go a little awry (as they inevitably do sometimes…).
Please be kind: these are something of a work-in-progress, and thoughts about how they might be further improved/clarified/(shortened!) are very welcome. Answers on a postcard…or, more effectively, submit via the website: gm@sh4.org.uk or speak directly to a member of the committee.
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AGPU
This year’s Annual General P*ss Up (AGPU) is planned for 13th November (venue TBC)
As per a conventional AGM, the entire Mis-management committee will stand down and nominations will be made for new committee members, any re-appointments and the GM role.
There will be sign-up sheets circulating in the pub at each SH4 hash from this week until the AGPU for you to jot your name down if you fancy taking on any of the committee roles (even if it’s just a tentative inclination at this stage!).
Please do give stepping up to the committee some thought, and feel free to chat to any members of the current committee (and/or past Mis-management) to find out a bit more about what each of the roles entails. This is your chance! 😊💪🏃
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HASH 1490 – BEESANDS
Another balmy October evening saw a select bunch of hardcore hashers assembling outside The Cricket Inn for the ritual humiliation that is running with SH4. Before I go any further, I wish it known that I will NOT be replicating ANY of Overshot’s terrible puns, of which there were FAR too many (Ed. *resounding cheer of well-concealed-disappointment*), which means that most of what follows bears only a loose relationship with the truth (Ed. just as it should be). That’s still better than his puns though. And in any case, I could barely read his handwriting on the notes I requisitioned off him – turns out architects’ writing is even worse than doctors’: who knew? (Ed. if a complete career u-turn is ever on the cards, Overshot, it looks as though you’re half way to a medical degree…!)
On the way in the car, Low-t-arse reported to me that Wet Spot had nominated her to take his joke at the Circle Up, only there wasn’t one (Ed. is there ever…?? 😉). So here’s one for you: What’s the difference between 3Km and Wet Spot? One is a little run and the other runs a little…. Ithankyou 👏👏
A smaller and even more select bunch of athletes kindly accompanied me on my 100-metre-sprint along the Walkers’ route, then waited while I got my breath back ready for the return trip. Sage advice from Hekkel: don’t lose your fitness; you’ll miss it when it’s gone, and it’s a bu**er to get back… (Ed. I think that advice will resonate with all hashers, Hekkel! 😘)
Rubbery spent a large part of the evening grappling with the new hash emergency phone. He had clearly mastered it, as when I asked him for the number he said airily “Oh it’s 07-something…” (Ed. 07922 103701 – FYI. And FR[ubbery’s]I 😆 ) I was greatly reassured by that. He also wrestled with the new app designed to clock hashers in and out and record their run totals – good luck with that one, is all I can say. (Ed. Oh, ye of little faith… 😆)
Out on the trail, Know Nuts was mistaken for an angel (Ed. easily done…), on account of the design of his reflective jacket which made it seem like he had wings… From behind… In the dark… (Ed. some might say that was a bit of a stretch!) Well, I guess you had to be there…which I wasn’t. I hope he doesn’t read this: wouldn’t want it going to his head…
According to reports, hare Gary G seemed not to have the vaguest clue where she was or where she was going. She should have followed the trail like every good hasher always does. Sex Wax dangled her torch off a gate, but I’m not sure that helped Gary much; I think it would have taken stadium-level floodlighting to make much difference quite frankly… (Ed. a small, perfectly-formed, but almost entirely useless piece of kit. [Don’t be so rude – I wasn’t talking about either of the hares! 😘😘😘] )
I witnessed Little Chef winning the hash; she was so delighted she rushed off home,
presumably to share the great news with Bit O’ Ruff. Does the app know she did that? (Ed. the app sees and knows all…*)
Our esteemed ‘On Sec, Rusty Bottom, fell over. This was so gleefully reported by the RA that I thought that there must be more to it than that. Turns out he’s not happy about his run totals… (Ed. I smell sabotage…) Shaggy went the wrong way (Ed. just falling over was getting way too predictable), and Gaffer and Dirty Nights were accused of shortcutting, which is highly likely; they’re hashers after all, not proper runners… Fob Jockey went wrong somewhere, but at least I’ve got his name right, unlike Doggy Style who got his name pretty catastrophically (Ed. but very memorably) wrong. I couldn’t possibly repeat the name she called him; all I can say is she apologises profusely and hopes he can forgive her…
Oui Oui got covered in Poo Poo. She decided that the whole pub should share in this
experience, so avoided any attempts to wash it off by, say, going in the conveniently placed sea. (Ed. I don’t think any amount of water would have been enough: it is a uniquely pungent product those South Hams cattle produce) Thanks, Oui Oui: a truly sharing caring hasher, there.
Jyde had cabbage for his tea, with chips. There’s no accounting for taste – well, after all, he chose me for a life partner. It’s nice to be up there with cabbage in his heart… (Ed. what better place to be?)
Whisperer got his 600 runs t-shirt. Yes, 600, not 700 as he claimed. Oh no, not falling for that one, no siree.. I have high hopes for the wonder-app and its ability to faithfully record every hasher’s attendance from now on. What could possibly go wrong? (Ed. glad you agree… 😆)
Thank you to the hares, Gary G and Sex Wax, who were the first to receive their down downs…and the last to finish them, by several hours. Other DDs went to:
Whisperer, for putting the wind up Hashberdasher, Hekkel, and for 600 runs (not 700) AND for his birthday 🥳 🎉
Then there was Rusty B for falling down, and Dirty Nights for shortcutting, and Oui Oui for being poo-ey.
ON ON to somewhere in DARTMOUTH; where exactly? Well, All Night Pepys is keeping it a secret, for now… (Ed. UPDATE: the mystery location in Dartmouth has now been confirmed! Please see details of Next SH4 Hash, below 👇)
HEKKEL
*It does not. (But one day it might… 🧐)
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a choice selection of photos from the definitely-dark-at-the-start Beesands hash on 9 October 2024 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
Photo Credit: Rubbery (pre-‘The Start’)
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1491 – DARTMOUTH, 9 October 2024
CIRCLE UP:
The George and Dragon
Mayors Avenue
Dartmouth
TQ6 9NG
Tel: 01803 832325
What3Words: loaning.sublime.segregate
ON DOWN:
As above.
Hares: All Night Pepys
RA: TBC
Pub won’t do food but All Night Pepys has assured us the beer stop will be close to the pub with some tasty treats
For further info, please see the Hash 1491 event page on theSH4 Facebook Group.
📝 If you’re the lucky Scribe at DARTMOUTH on 16th October, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (20th October), ideally – TVM! 📝
Add your photos of how the evening went down (Weds 16th Oct, 2024) to the Hash 1491 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
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👣 – PARISH NOTICES – 👣
SH4 1500 T-shirts
🌟 – LAST ORDERS BY 1ST NOVEMBER, PLEASE – 🌟
To celebrate our upcoming 1500th milestone Hash T-shirts and Vests will be available to order from Overshot, so find him at the hash, or comment on the post on SH4’s Facebook group to place an order:
Premium Contrast Just Cool T shirts- Men sizes only!- £19
https://justcoolbyawdis.com/products/JC003
Standard Just Cool T-Shirts- Mens + Ladies sizes- £17.50
https://justcoolbyawdis.com/products/JC001
https://justcoolbyawdis.com/products/JC005
Just Cool Vests- Mens + Ladies sizes- £16.50
https://justcoolbyawdis.com/products/JC007
https://justcoolbyawdis.com/products/JC015
Cotton T shirts Mens + Ladies sizes – £17.50
🌟 – LAST ORDERS BY 1ST NOVEMBER, PLEASE – 🌟
Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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🌟Rusty Bottom AND Little Chef completed the Royal Parks Half Marathon in Central London on Sunday 13 October, each smashing their own personal records for the distance, while raising vital funds for charity (Rusty, in support of the miscarriage, stillbirth and premature baby charity, Tommy’s; Little Chef, for mental health charity, Mind 🌟
You can still show your support for both of these charities, and for Rusty’s and LC’s stellar efforts in London on Sunday, by following the links below:
🌟🌟 Jackie’s fundraiser for Tommy’s, the baby charity 🌟🌟
🌟🌟 Jeerana Warren is fundraising for Mind, the mental health charity 🌟🌟
Big congratulations, again, to you both!
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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events
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DATES FOR YOUR HASH DIARY:
PRE-CHRISTMAS Hash Social Weekend AND 1500th Hash – 30th Nov – 1st Dec 2024
If you’ve booked your place but haven’t yet paid, please settle up asap as payment is now due to the venue:
Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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POST-CHRISTMAS Hash Bash Weekend – 14th-16th February 2025
If you have booked your spot for this snazzy SH4 getaway but haven’t yet paid your deposit, please send your £50 asap to the SH4 bank account, quoting your hash name and ping a quick message to Hash Cash:
Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See Rizzo at the next meet for yours 👣