The Words according to VINDALOO
Much-loved Morticia’s send-off will be held at midday this Wednesday 8 January at South Milton Church (5 New Buildings, South Milton, Kingsbridge TQ7 3JN), with the burial taking place at the South Milton burial ground opposite. There will be a gathering at South Milton Village Hall (South Milton, Kingsbridge, TQ7 3JQ) afterwards. Gomez, Pugsley and family would love it if you were able to attend.
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HASH 1504 – NEW YEAR’S DAY HASH, CALIFORNIA INN
(Words were written amongst my shopping list, so there may be a few Tesco extra words that don’t belong…)
The first hash of 2025 dawned, but at a very specific time 11.50am, which caught some hashers out (Ed. ‘specific’ and ‘hasher’ are not words that often hang out in the same sentence) – like myself, who was nearly late, dawdling along the lanes.
I was pleased to see a space in the car park, but with a hidden trap – a large puddle – so I had to park untidily in front of it, encouraged by Gnashers toothpaste. In my haste to join the crowd, which had surged from the middle of the car park to the end – seamlessly, like a shoal of fish (Ed. what a vision… Presumably, the [high] reflective-lycra quotient only added to the illusion?). I snatched up a woolly hat from my bag, but with it came a pair of pants. Luckily, I noticed my mistake before it was spotted, and threw them back in. (Ed. Oh, how disappointing…) Being late, I missed the first part of the GM’s welcome speech, but I did hear her call out, “You are doing the words, Vindaloo, my love…” (Ed. Oh, thank goodness you didn’t miss that important bit, Vinders!)
There had been a warning about the first part of the trail being along the road, and Doggy Style took H and S seriously, by following the runners in her Wagon Wheel, slowly, like a rolling road cheese block. It left the coast clear for Fenn to do his business, unhindered by cars. Pugsley and Boaty made the most of it, running around slower hashers, much to the concern of Yeuk. Olive, accustomed to stopping the traffic, used her police officer training to take charge. (Ed. I did not know that police training including harnessing the might of giant choc-and-mallow biscuits and/or gargantuan Gorgonzola. Consider myself ‘skooled’.)
Being a wet day, visibility was poor – so bad, in fact, that Cow Pat stopped at what she took to be a check, but it was in fact a hub cap (Ed. easy mistake…😆) – at least that wasn’t flour washed out in the rain.
Nokkers and I trotted on with Cow Pat, Jyde and Know Nuts. We were relieved when we could at last be off the main road, and into the fields – private land, virgin territory. It was a great run, and we were reminded to follow the marks carefully by the stream, otherwise we could be waist-deep in mud. Marty was a casualty of not heeding this advice: she and Mabel ended up to their chests in it, and had to put themselves through one of their own industrial washing machines Persil. Poor Mabel had already got an electric shock from the fence, so it wasn’t her day. Fob Jockey was also seen to be mud-wrestling with Undercovers in the mangrove swamps (Ed. how delightfully neo-classical), and Py pie fell in the rainy conditions. Rizzo was reported to have got across the stream, then decided to run back the way she had just come (Ed. fancied another shot at falling in?) – poor old thing, not as young as she was: her birthday cake is later this week.
WGAS toilet roll, deputising for Wet Spot, was trying to splash other hashers in the muddy puddles, but it backfired and he got himself muddier than anyone else (Ed. a valiant effort, but sounds as though WetSpot may still retain his Chief Mischief-maker title…). Some people were short-cutting – namely, Gaffer, Nice Tackle and Winnie. The Lost Causes were first ones back, not short-cutting – Barbarella, Olive olives and Lowt’arse starting the year as they mean to go on. Look out, FRBs…
Even back in the car park, the drama was far from over: Judith was digging in the puddle, looking for a lost key. Know Nuts was calling anxiously from the car, not “ On on’, but “Let me out” – victim of the child-locks: Nutcracker shuts in him in there when she wants a quiet moment (Ed. ahhh, that old chestnut!) (how we laughed). Ging Gang and Goolie, arriving late, had decided not to run but to catch up on some calls to the family: so much hot air was exchanged that the windows on the posh car had steamed up, and Goolie was reminded of an incident in his younger days… cucumber (Ed. we [probably] don’t want to know….! 👀😆)
At the Inn, where there was room (Ed. nicely done), we were directed to our own finest quarters, but there was only one Down Down. This was awarded to Undercovers, not for mud-wrestling lard, but for 100 runs. He had a beer half, which was drunk before the singing had even begun, and – pleased with his new red onion vest – was last seen rushing back to Modbury to model it for Mrs Undercovers (Ed. I hope he didn’t start peeling off any layers prematurely..?).
Well done the hares, Doggy Style and Tight Salted Nuts (Ed. suspect a condition not limited to just one hasher, especially under several winter-running layers…🥜) for laying a hash on NY Day in challenging conditions, and for a great biscuit, and drink, stop.
On On to a wonderful 2025.
Photo credit: Rubbery
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a mixed bag photos from the California Cross New Year’s Day Hash on 1st January 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1505 – DARTMOUTH, 8th January 2025
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Dartmouth Visitor Centre
Engine House,
Mayers Avenue,
Dartmouth
TQ6 NYY
What3Words: website.dummy.nerve
ON DOWN:
Royal Castle Hotel
11 The Quay
Dartmouth
TQ6 9P6
What3Words: crumbles.animal.nurture
Parking: On-street and small parking areas locally e.g Flavel Place or large carpark opposite George and Dragon at What3Words: stressed.poppy.slung
Food orders to Can’t Come by Sunday 5th January by email (richard.ambrose68@gmail.com).
Pay on the day direct with Pub.
Kitchen closes at 8:45pm
Menu: https://royalcastle.co.uk/food-and-drink?mguid=9ef1bd37-121e-4c90-addc-99b242a8835e (Autumn Evening Menu)
Hares: Can’t Come & Ching Chong
RA: TBC
For further info, please see the Hash 1505 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 8th January, 2025) to the Hash 1505 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Dartmouth on 8th January, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (12th January, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events
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🌟🌟 POST-CHRISTMAS Hash Bash Weekend – 14th-16th February 2025 🌟🌟
If you have booked your spot for this snazzy SH4 getaway but haven’t yet paid up, please send your £££ asap to the SH4 bank account, quoting your hash name and ping a quick message to Hash Cash (Blown Off) to confirm.
If you’re not sure how much you owe, please speak to Filth/Blown Off.
🌟 Balances are (over)due – please 🌟
Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the new SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .
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🌟 Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs you’re safely back. 🌟
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next meet for yours.
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