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Hash 1582 – KINGSBRIDGE

Kingsbridge Evening Hash Report – “Up, Up… and Still Up”

If anyone ever claims that a circular route means balance—equal ups and downs—they clearly weren’t at this week’s Kingsbridge hash. This was a route that offered hills, more hills, and then a few extra just in case anyone still had functioning calves. It felt like a subtle (Ed. yes, the sort of subtlety that keeps bashing you over the head in case you still don’t get it…) nod to Kate Bush—except we didn’t just run up that hill, we ran up all of them! 

That said, it was a beautiful evening, and the effort was rewarded with a spectacular full rainbow stretching across the sky. Naturally, I attempted to be the first hasher to run through the rainbow arch but despite increasing speed it remained stubbornly out of reach (Ed. I had no more luck with the pot of gold…*sigh*).

Knees, Blood, and “Support”

The theme of the evening quickly became clear: dodgy knees.

Dirty Bum Bum took a dramatic fall along the track, badly gashing her knee and securing first prize for blood loss—an impressive, if slightly alarming, achievement (Ed. another pretender to the ‘Most Injured/Clumsiest’ crown!). Not to be outdone in bravery, Olive tackled the entire route with a meniscus tear. Sympathy flowed freely, especially from Boaty, who thoughtfully sent Olive the wrong way (Ed. a true gent!) —adding an extra hill or two to her already heroic effort. True support, hash-style.

Engines, Fashion, and Hidden Snacks

Debriefed attacked the hills like a machine, powering upwards with piston-like legs and no sign of stopping. If there was a summit, she was heading for it—whether it was on the trail or not (Ed. quite right – why let a detail like that steal away your moment of aptitude for altitude?) .

Wanda was energetically draggged along by Sexwax, looking surprisingly stylish in matching boots and coat—proof that one can suffer and coordinate (Ed. queen!).

Navigation… Optional (Ed. isn’t it always?)

Hash marks proved elusive, with several appearing to have been added after by Lactaster, who did an excellent job overall while maintaining an air of complete innocence.

Barbarella and Lowt’arse reportedly got lost in a field, while some walkers embraced the flexible interpretation of “completing the hash”. (Ed. always to be applauded) 

Whisperer, meanwhile, loyally followed Muckspreader in entirely the wrong direction, heading down into the valley like a particularly committed sheep. Apparently, he was guided back in the correct direction by Pugsley, who began yodelling down the valley (Ed. I think that was a different, equally precipitous valley…but, agh: details!).

Return to Base & Car Park Tales

Back at the car park, Ging Gang and Goolie took a strategic detour to Morrisons to pick up supplies for their pheasants, racing pigeon, and a one-legged seagull named Hop-a-Long. Standard post-hash logistics. 🤣🤣

Down Downs (More or Less)

Distracted by the award of my ‘100 wasted Wednesdays’ hash T-shirt, (Ed. as many as that…? 😆🤫) I failed to properly note all the Down Downs, but strong rumours suggest:

• Undercovers – for reaching the fine milestone of a 67th birthday
• Overshot – for his usual creative route interpretation (shortcutting), an attempted break-in of Whisperer’s car (motive unknown), and allegedly pushing WGAS over in Union Street—quite a feat if true 👀
• Lactaster – for expertly laying (and occasionally retro-marking) the trail
• Jess and James, our virgin hashers—welcome to the madness
• Debriefed – for unstoppable upward momentum

On on to VENFORD RESERVOIR

Photo credit: Whisperer
🏃 📸 🍻 You can see a few more photos from the rainbow-framed Kingsbridge hash on 13th May by checking out the 1582 photo album 🏃 📸 🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣: 
HASH 1583 –  20th May 2026
VENFORD RESERVOIR

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm

Venford Reservoir West Car Park, TQ13 7SS
Https://what3words.com/contact.pint.shepherdess

ON DOWN:
The Abbey Inn, Buckfastleigh, TQ11 0EA
Https://what3words.com/success.surfed.strutted
Hares: Whisperer & Fob Jockey

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Hash Food
If you’re planning to eat at the pub after the hash, please pre-order with Whisperer via the Facebook page by Tuesday morning (or suggest via the pub if you’re not on Facebook):

• Mac & cheese with or without crispy topping
• Ham egg and chips
• Cottage pie with peas
• Cheddar & spring onion quiche with fries and salad
• Sausage and mash with onion gravy and peas
• Chicken katsu curry with wild rice.

All £9.95

• Sides: chips/cheesy chips (price TBC)

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For more info, please see the Hash 1583 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 20th May, 2026) to the Hash 1583 photo album  on SH4’s Facebook page.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at VENFORD RESERVOIR on 20th May, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (24th May, 2026) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back. 

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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