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The evening began as it meant to go on, with Fluffy Dice and Silly Shunt making a rare outing with South Hams (and, true to form, turning up late). Hardcore made a bold fashion statement, turning up decorated in fresh nail polish. Having been absent from the club for a while, Imelda found the running a bit of a shock to his poor body: half-way round his sore limbs demanded a stretch, prompting him to drop into a full downward dog, right on trail (Ed. when you gotta yo[ga], you gotta yo[ga]…sorry, that’s all I’ve got tonight!)
Keeps Tripping was relentlessly pursued by a local dog that took a bit too much of a shine to him. Upon catching up, the enthusiastic hound attempted to mount his leg—a deeply unfortunate turn of events, given that Keeps Tripping isn’t particularly fond of dogs in the first place. (Ed. just playing hard to get…Classic)
Gaffer attempted to put Hotpants on the spot, accusing her of not knowing the proper protocol for wild wees and suggesting she was caught short. Hotpants set the record straight: the issue wasn’t her bladder, but rather Fluffy Dice subjecting the entire pack to the unwelcome sight of him taking a leak by a gate. Ever helpful, Gaffer then offered Hotpants some unsolicited “advice” on what to do next time she needs a pitstop. (Ed. so lucky you were there, Gaffer, to save Hotpants – or our ‘resident exhibitionist’ as she will henceforth almost certainly be known 😘 – from future faux pas)
Muckspreader and Shaggy spent the run pushing ahead together, praying to the hash gods that they wouldn’t be spotted by Nice Buns (Ed. What you don’t realise is that Muckspreader was trying to lose me but had relaxed a bit too much on his Mediterranean holiday and was just a little too slow 😂). The Shorts complained the trail was far too short and took off in search of extra mileage which somehow ended with Dirty Bum Bum being led up a back alley 👀. Doggy Style achieved legendary status by making an appearance at the pub solely to buy a bag of crisps, laughing, and immediately departing into the night. Post-hash change-outs took a turn when Boatie was caught red-handed (Ed. that may not have been his hand…) flashing at the ladies while they were undressing. The ladies were decidedly unamused, offering only a dry, “Well, it takes all sorts.”
Gaffer took the floor and regaled us all with tales of his old t-shirts, reminiscing about his younger days setting the pace at the front with Plympton Hash (Ed. which may not have got nearly the awed reception it deserved, eh Gaffer?). Moving on to the trail review, Gaffer put it to the pack: what did we think of Piltdown Man and Georgie Porgie’s hash? The unanimous vote: rubbish, too flat, and too short. When asked if we were served “Sloppy Seconds” recycled from Teignbridge Hash’s Monday night run, Piltown Man offered a refreshingly honest, “Yes.” (Ed. admirably resourceful:. We’re all about sustainability – save flour!) Gaffer then pressed, “Did anyone go wrong on the extra Long?” The pack replied in unison, “No!” Why? Because there wasn’t a single check in sight—just arrows, which Nice Tackle made sure to mention were particularly well-drawn. Feeling the heat, Piltown Man accepted his well-earned drubbing for the distinct lack of checks.
Gaffer then ran us through a mini-survey on why we actually bother coming hashing. Answers ranged from “to go to the pub” and “gets you out of the house,” to “something to do” and “for the t-shirt.” (Ed. perhaps for ‘friends’, ‘fun’ and a ‘challenging run/scramble/wade’ [and to earn a beer…] were too obvious…In fairness, in the moment my post-hash brain was too flummoxed by the 5-word-answer prerequisite to offer anything! 🙄 😆)
Awards and Down Downs:
- Genital Heat Rash and Come Tonite were called up to receive their well-earned 200th Run T-Shirts.
- Georgie Porgie and Piltdown Man – Hares
- Hotpants took a Down Down—whether for her alleged wild-wee etiquette failure or her distinct lack of one, the circle couldn’t quite decide.
- Keeps Tripping – hot dog-totty
- Muckspreader – doing something to annoy Nice Buns (allegedly)
ON ON to PLYMPTON
Photo credit: Rubbery
🏃 📸 🍻 You can see more photos from the arid Ashburton hash by checking out the 1593 photo album 🏃 📸 🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣
HASH 1594 – 5th August, 2026
CIRCLE UP: 7.25pm
Ridge Rd (Merafield Junction), Plympton
Https://what3words.com/shower.raft.decay
ON DOWN:
The Elburton Inn, PL9 8HX
Https://what3words.com/copy.dare.horses
Hare: Fluffy Dice & Silly Shunt
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For more info, please see the Hash 1594 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 5th August, 2026) to the Hash 1594 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at PLYMPTON on 5th August, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (9th August, 2026) – TVM! 📝
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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