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[Ed. A round of applause, please, for Anchorman‘s debut scribing output! (Love a strong, thematic scaffold to hang the words on… 🏎)]
HASH 1553 – LOWER KERNBOROUGH
The evening turned out to resemble something more like an episode of Top Gear than a Hash.
It started with a tyre pressure warning light… Being a good little Hasher, I topped up the tyre pressures before setting off early, aware it was a long way to Kernborough and I had eager Hashers to pickup en route. Approaching the Trehill Arms, Ivybridge, a small group of would-be Hashers caught my eye up ahead: maybe Boaty & Barbarella were bringing guests tonight, I thought…as I drove past the real Boaty & Barbarella, frantically trying to flag me down at the side of the road. As I made a meal of turning round to collect them, the pressure was on [Ed. wait – was the pressure on or off?! Get your story straight, man!] to make the 19:30 cut off.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one to struggle at the whole car-sharing thing – something to do with Rusty & Lactaster, hazard lights and one of them (can’t recall who [Ed. could have been either, in fairness…😘]) walking right past their lift…
Despite the hiccups, I was making good time – only for an oil warning light to then pop up on the dash. Could this be the night I break down in deepest, darkest Devon? [Ed. some of us start every car journey with that thought…]
Rizzo was driving the East Allington contingent: while underestimating the drive time to tonight’s Circle Up by 10 mins AND leaving late, she somehow still arrived with 3 mins to spare and setting the fastest known time (FKT) between East Allington & Lower Kernborough [Ed. lovely little segue into running/Strava racing nomenclature there, Anchorman – not strictly true to your theme, but we’ll allow].
Running Late was the night’s ‘star in a reasonably priced car’, explaining how he’s lucky if he can get his rear lights to turn on. Good job he wasn’t leading the charge into Lower Kernborough.
We made it in time, only to scrape the underside of the car driving up the embankment into the field marked ‘SH4 Hash’. If there wasn’t already an oil leak there definitely was now!
I wasn’t the only one to graze the car: Doggy Style later seized the opportunity and was heard offering Hashers 2-for-1 on front bumpers. [Ed. the cogs of that razor-sharp business brain are always turning!]
Out on the trail…
An exceptionally-marshalled event, we were corralled and ushered in the appropriate direction by said marshalls and arrows a-plenty. This set off the racing instinct amongst SH4.
Muckspreader set the pace, with Ice Ice Baby and Jack the Virgin chasing down the lead – but only until Overshot sent them the wrong way with a mischievous call.
On the second or third hill of the night, I was getting into the spirit and saw an opportunity with Overshot and Blown Off slowing to walking pace. I took advantage: firing up the calves, I slowly passed them. Overshot quickly engaged as we passed Blown Off: like James May at the end of his tether, he cussed at me before obliging and the race was back on [Ed. slaves to the win… (vain cries of ‘it’s not a race!’ drowned out by the thunder-splat of trainer on rain-soaked trail)].
We were treated to an excellent beer stop: strictly beer and Bailey’s [Ed. what more could a hasher need?], we were told, as the water kilner had been smashed – was it sabotage by the FRB’s?
Later, Overshot insisted on showing Shaggy something off the Hash trail. Persistent with his offer, Shaggy reluctantly followed through an old gate and found said something to be very overgrown and in need of a trim [Ed. still scarred 👀].
Mr Softy led Boaty down a dark alley to tell him all about his chocolate factory – no samples were offered [Ed. a blessèd mercy?!].
Knokkers did remark the location of the O.H. was ‘cruel’, being about half a mile from the finish line, and up the hill.
There were no T-shirts or medals at the end, but Hashers seemed content to settle for a pint and cheesy chips at the lovely Bear & Blacksmith.
At the pub, Overshot was looking for some advice on a new car. There was some sound advice from Muckspreader and Nice Tackle (or ‘No Tackle’, as coined by Garry Glitter): go Japanese, you can’t go wrong, I chipped in, vouching that my Honda was bomb-proof, not divulging the multiple warning lights earlier that evening [Ed. why complicate a recommendation with potentially contradictory details?].
Nice Buns took a superb turn at the RA’ing and announced the race results: we learned Badcock & Keeps Tripping came last, pipped to the line by Olive. Let’s hope there’s no hard feelings, as they’ll be laying next week’s trail!
Down Downs went to:
- Hares – Sex Wax, Gary Glitter & Cowpat
- Twisted Sister – Congratulations for passing first academic essay at Masters level!
- Jack the Virgin
- Mr Softy – Willy Wonka vibes
ON ON to SHIPLEY BRIDGE!
Photo credit: Overshot
🏃 📸 🍻 A worrying trend is emerging: apart from Overhshot‘s handful of skew-whiff shots, there are -alas – no further photos to enjoy from the cantering Kernborough hash on 12th November 2025 in the lovingly-crafted Hash 1553 photo album on the SH4 Facebook page. (If anyone has any photos of the evening they’re happy to share, please do upload them to the online photo album – TVM!) 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1554 – 12th November, 2025
SHILEY BRIDGE
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Shipley Bridge Car Park, TQ10 9ED
What3words: https://w3w.co/retaliate.genetics.groomed
ON DOWN:
Station House, South Brent, TQ10 9BE
What3Words: https://w3w.co/departure.rungs.renders
Hare: BADCOCK & NICE TACKLE
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For more info, please see the Hash 1554 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 19th November, 2025) to the Hash 1554 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at SHIPLEY BRIDGE on 19th November, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (23rd November, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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UPCOMNG SH4 EVENTS
⛄🌟🎅🏻🌟🎄🌟🎅🏻🌟⛄
We can’t wait to see you all at the Start Bay Centre, Slapton on Saturday 29th November (and Friday 28th November, if you’ve signed up for the bonus extra FREE night!) for what promises to be a spectacular edition of the beloved SH4 Pre-Christmas Hash Bash. Don’t forget your tinsel (or other, more sustainable festive adornments)!
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If you’ve booked to attend this super-value weekend of entertainment, and still have’t settled up (??!) please pay the full amount (£50) to the SH4 account asap (account details below and also on the poster):
Account name: SH4
A/c no. 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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