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(Ed. Sorry – barely edited and not fact-checked [as tradition dictates], but no time! Thanks to Pepys for an 11th-hour Words submission from what I’ll hazard was a horribly sweltering London-bound train!)

Hash 1583 – VENFORD RESERVOIR

A beautiful evening on the moor, hasher gathered for the circle up. Lactaster asked for any virgins or visitors and then promptly forgot to introduce the lady Squashed Balls had brought with him. Julia I think.

There was some consternation about the hares lack of agreement for the length of the route. Whisperer assured us that there were 2.5, 4.5 and 6.5 mile trails , but that they all felt a lot longer and had taken forever to lay. Just Dartmoor mileage or had he been creative with distances? There were a lot of excuses of tired runners after the Plymouth Half and 10k the weekend before, so quite a few seemed keen for the Short.

It all started gently round the reservoir, followed by the walkers and long/short split. Long and Short had an uphill stumble and a sort of track through the gorse, which pleased Gaffer no end. Mora (the dog) was also upset at all the spiky cut down gorse that covered the track and hurt her paws.

Soon enough the Long/Short split arrived, and there were a lot of people heading left on the Short. It was such a lovely evening I foolishly went the other way and trotted off after the Longs. Off along a better path, along along along, down, down down and then inevitably up up up. I saw absolutely no-one after the split until after the path joined up with the road up onto the moor and followed beside it, eventually leading to the reservoir below in the valley. Great, I thought, nearly back!

But no, the sawdust took me down the valley towards Bench Tor, and I began to hear faint shouts of ‘On On’ in the distance. Fab, I though, we’ll be dipping down into the valley soon and up the other side to the car park.

But no, on and on I went towards the Tor. By now, the light was fading, as was my enthusiasm, and I slowed down to see tiny dots of hashers far away in the distance, getting dimmer by the minute in the growing gloom.

Stuff this, I thought – the faint tracks down to the river and up the other side that could
have been a Short cut looked like they’d peter out and leave me scrabbling through the undergrowth – I’m going to do the honourable thing of turning around and going back to the road and across the dam.

Back near finish, I did a couple of loops to make the distance up to 9km whilst someone, sounding concerned that I was lost, called out that I was about to miss the car park. Fob Jockey was there checking everyone back in, eventually having to drive up the bank with his car lights on to lead the final hashers On Home.

Down downs were down at the Abbey Inn in Buckfastleigh, where Mountain Rescue were meeting and seemed to be waiting for us. I arrived just in time for Gaffer as RA to announce that nobody actually managed the full Long (disputed by Fob Jockey as he’d laid it) – Bad Cock, Willy Waiver and Just Tripping were the last ones home, but had turned around at Bench Tor.

Squashed Balls failed to come up with a suitable joke (though are any of them suitable?) perhaps he was distracted by his lady friend.

Down downs were awarded to:

• Livewire for his birthday and 10k run.
• Lowt’arse for bad driving and navigation to the hash, caught by Gaffer as he was behind them. She was also telling everyone that she’d heard a cuckoo on the moor – perhaps that’s where she was going…
• Nice Tackle for forgetting to pay for his beer at the bar.
• Barbarella for kicking out a check in the wrong direction (her excuse was that she’s usually so far behind that she’s not used to it)
• Good Shag and Hot Pants for looking up their route to the pub on Google in case they got lost, but for then following two different routes to get there.
• Rubbery for trouser failure whilst walking round the reservoir. Gaffer offered him some safety pins to hold them together, but he wasn’t keen to stick them in his backside, nor show us the damage.
• Pugsley for leading Gaffer and Under Covers astray on the way back to the car park.
• Rizzo for ‘winning’ the fastest hash time in the Half Marathon.
• And of course to the hares, Whisperer and Fob Jockey.

On on to EAST PRAWLE

Photo credit: Rubbery
🏃 📸 🍻 You can see a few more photos from the beauteous (and extra-value…) Venford Reservoir hash on 20th May by checking out the 1583 photo album 🏃 📸 🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣: 
HASH 1584 –  27th May 2026
EAST PRAWLE

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm

Outside The Pigs Nose Inn, East Prawle, Kingsbridge, TQ7 2BY
Https://what3words.com/confident.pumps.honey

ON DOWN:
Outside The Pigs Nose Inn, East Prawle, Kingsbridge, TQ7 2BY
Hare: Fob Jockey

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For more info, please see the Hash 1584 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 27th May, 2026) to the Hash 1584 photo album  on SH4’s Facebook page.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at EAST PRAWLE on 27th May, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (31st May, 2026) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back. 

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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