🌞🌅🍺Hash 1473 & 1474 – SUMMER SOLSTICE HASH WEEKEND: Thorn Campsite, Sidmouth🍺🌅🌞

‘Solstice: The Summer Solstice occurs when one of the Earth’s poles has its maximum tilt towards the sun.’

My only concern on Friday afternoon was my tent poles, and whether my long tent pole went in the middle, front or back of my tent! I didn’t require any tilts, just flat ground. After several abortive attempts, it was established it goes in the middle! Thanks to U-Bend, Pony and Filth.

Hashers arrived throughout the afternoon and evening and pitched their tents, or vans, around the tree. Spunky arrived but some of us didn’t recognise him and thought we ought to tell him that it might be a bit noisy if he was looking for a quiet weekend!

The route from our campsite to the barn entailed going across a driving range, which we found out before any damage was done (Ed: yes, the threat from ‘low-flying balls’ is all around!) U-Bend, Pony and I had a round of Crazy Golf, and then were joined by Filth for a ‘Pitch and Putt’, before we all gathered at the barn for a lovely cold buffet and beer. Poor Lady Godiva and Rob broke down in their van two miles away, just outside Waitrose, and waited for recovery. They could have been in a worse place – at least they wouldn’t starve! The weather came in wet and windy, so blankets and coats came out and sadly we saw no moon that night – or much light! Some retired to their tents or vans, and some played games to keep warm (Ed. probably best we don’t probe too closely, so to speak, about what sort of games…).

SATURDAY

The day dawned sunny and fair, after being woken up by beautiful birdsong, interspersed by Pony’s snoring and trumpeting! (Ed. ah, nature’s gentle dawn chorus) Half-awake, I saw Steve and said, “Good Morning, No Tackle”, to which he replied, “Is there something I should know, or have you been peeking in the showers?” I grinned and walked off (Ed. Classic GG).

After a yummy fry-up, courtesy of U-Bend’s kitchen, we all began to get our red dress tackle on. The men definitely took dressing up more seriously (Ed. quelle surprise…). Pony and Lady Gagger started a nail bar. U-Bend painted one nail so badly he gave up. Twisted Sister, Nutcracker, Lady Gagger, Pony and I were adorned with face glitter and spray, courtesy of Pony. Triple Top proceeded to show and tell us about his tattoos. Very impressive Japanese artistry. U-Bend shouted for help in the toilet that his dress was stuck in his zip and was rescued by Gomez (Ed. SH4 is a hash of such chivalrous gents!) .

At midday, we circled up and Rizzo was asking for scribes between A-E, F, G… Well, I thought, get it over with now and I might have the year off. (Ed. A wise stratagem, in normal circumstances, but this is hashing, GG). Our hares, Whisperer and Piltdown Man, told us that the Long was 11 miles, the Short 6 miles and the Walk was downhill to Sidmouth. Unfortunately, Twisted Sister and Nutcracker thought that meant they could do it in flip-flops, but Filth’s walk was a little less straight forward – to the extent that she got lost after the first 10 minutes! (Ed. Are the Lost Causes recruiting…? 😘)

Off we went on the Shorts, through lovely grassy lanes, in-between the donkeys. A lady in the Donkey Sanctuary said, after eight hashers went through, ‘Finally, a real lady!’. We trotted past tall foxgloves, fields of broad beans and wonderful views of Weston Beach and Big Wellington Beach. Good to see Sniffer with her daughter, Chipolata, and her friend. They were amazing, especially going up that very steep, uphill climb! (Ed. suspect Overshot’s secret weapon is his diminutive Head Coach…)

On on to the beer stop, manned by Rubbery. By then, Morticia had fallen at the first jump on the Long, bruising and cutting her knee and lower leg badly, so had diverted onto the Short trail. Cowpat slipped spectacularly in the mud and looked like she’d sat in a cowpat! Know Nuts also fell by the wayside.

Refreshed after beer, cider and Wotsits we trotted on. Over the top and downhill, with a wonderful view of Sidmouth, and then over the bridge and into town to find The Anchor pub. On the way through town, No Tackle was stopped when a man wound down his car window and shouted, “Hello gorgeous!” Sidmouth either aren’t that fussy or they’re in need of a Specsavers! However they are very charitable, and we collected nearly £100 – £30 of which was stuffed down Triple Top’s pants!

Lady Gagger couldn’t find an Ann Summers, so settled for a mango sorbet, while Oui Oui and I had an ice-cream. Most of the hashers were sitting on tables under the trees. The resident pigeons were waiting for us, and one jettisoned his load right down the length of Marti’s arm…and it was still very warm! (Ed. has anyone ever bought the line about it being good luck…?) TB asked Twisted Sister what she was drinking. She said, ‘Inch’s” and he replied, ’12!’ Then Twisted demonstrated a short 6″! Morticia and Gomez couldn’t hold their drink, the first pint going over Zoe’s ear and the second over the barmaid. (The same barmaid who said that seagulls were a pain as they carried rabies! Was she blonde?!)

Gaffer arrived and ran round the car park several times to get his 11 miles in! That dress he always wears is definitely shrinking and causing him severe chafing.

Next, came the dilemma of how to get back. Should we walk, or take the bus? Gomez had his bus pass but was too tight to pay for Morticia, so they walked back with us. It was fine until the last uphill climb in the heat. I wish we’d taken the bus as we missed out on the entertainment! Pony got everyone singing (Ed. standard), drowning out ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ music, and they were even given a round of applause as they disembarked.

Back at the campsite, TB was trying to drum up some help among the Harriettes for a tic body search! No takers, I’m afraid, so he was left with a mirror and a torch!

Overshot and co played their guitars before the Down Downs, which went to the Hares, Whisperer and Piltdown Man; Spunky, for Best-Dressed as he’d been measured up at M & S and was seen moving nettles and brambles aside so as not to ruin his frock, even attacking Overshot in the face (Ed. such unladylike behaviour!); Filth, for organising a great weekend.

Next came the lamb roast (courtesy of WGAS), carved up by our chefs. Spotty said,  ‘The lamb smells a bit strange’  to TB, and then turned around and farted (Ed. surely not: Spotty is a lady). TB replied, ‘You sure it’s the lamb?!!’. Rusty and family then played a mad game of Crazy Golf as the sun set.

SUNDAY

A cloudy, dry but warm day. Another scrummy fry-up started the day, which now included Jyde, who needed sustenance after spending a night in his 50-year-old-tent! (TB had walked over to the Donkey Sanctuary for breakfast, as he’d heard about my cooking!). I had to jump-start TB, as he’d run out of power!! Triple Top had to jump-start Lady Godiva and Rob, but they made it home safely. Filth was suffering with an inflamed wrist as had tripped on her way back to the tent after a few red wines the night before, and then slipped on the groundsheet. Anything to get out of doing the hash, TB and Filth!

We awaited the return of the Hares of the Dog hares, Morticia and Cowpat, who had laid an excellent trail. Lady Gagger was in charge of Mabel who, as always, couldn’t wait to get started. She barked at the donkeys as we passed, and there were a lot of them – even young ones. Going down one of the grassy lanes, I said, ‘Oh look there’s a shrew’ and Lady Gagger said, ‘Where’s the rest of the body?’ as she thought I said shoe!!

We were a bit lost, but Cowpat caught us up and led us back. Down by the stream, Mabel was gasping with thirst and lay in it and drank for about five minutes. I was just saying how nice a trail it was, and fairly even, when we got to the climb back! (Ed. You really should know better by now, GG! 😆)

Back to decamp after a great fun and friendly hash weekend. Well done you lot. All Night Pepys, having cycled here, left to cycle to Southampton. Impressive dedication to hashing, I call that!

ON ON to COMNESTONE TOR in the depths of Dartmoor!

GG

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For anyone who missed the Facebook posts, huge thanks to everyone who contributed, in whatever way, to the Memorial Hash for Fallen Woman at Brixham on 1 June:

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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy highlights – and those very special red ensembles(!) – from the glorious few days that was the SH4 Summer Solstice Hash Weekend 2024 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook Group  📸 🏃🍻

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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events

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RAMBO SALCOMBE MARATHON 2024

Saturday 21st September, 2024

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 🌟 🌟 🌟 Register here: https://bit.ly/RamboSM2024 🌟 🌟 🌟

OR scan the QR code, below:

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See Rizzo at the next meet for yours 👣