The Words according to DIMWIT

Hash 1476 – BURRATOR:

REVELATION 19:20
And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet
who wrought miracles in his presence, by which he deceived them that had received the naming by the hash, and them that believed his lies.

These were cast alive into a lake of fire,
burning with brimstone.

Maybe extreme in its outcome, but the above passage fully reflects the astonishment at the news that came to light during Wednesday’s hash. (Even more astonishing than Lazy Git’s ability to hit every pothole in the South Hams on the way to it.)
Has a long-standing hasher, who runs among us, really been hiding his true identity?
Well, it appears so, as the guilty party’s better half has admitted the truth is out there! (cue X-Files music) But, due to confidentiality agreements, it must be kept secret – for now. [Ed. Ahhha: scandal and intrigue…! 👀]

Other revelations that came to light during Can’t Come’s virgin RA’ing (excellent job, by the way CC [thought you were a natural] – additional brackets for the enjoyment of the Editor [Ed. duly noted, and effort appreciated]), were as follows:

• CC will, in future, willingly give absolutely no f##ks, is happy to blend fact and fiction, is willing to take one hit, but N.B. complaints will be dealt accordingly (in other words, [complainant] told to FO). [Ed. a solid manifesto that I think RAs, past and present, would happily endorse.]
• It was announced that July 3rd is, in fact, American Independence Day, but due to running out of beer and their inability to count, it was moved forward a day to 4th July. [Ed. another historical gem.]
• Another huge revelation to come to light on the Longs, was Shaggy’s admission to having a list of all good car parks in the South Hams (having a dog lead, but no dog was mentioned). [Ed. I notice that the RA is already delivering amply on his second stated declaration…😆]
• Can’t Come was explaining the merits of Withnail and I to Wetspot as a must-watch movie – something about the ambiance of the landscape and substance abuse – but Wetspot insisted he would rather watch Love Island as he is a Vegan [Ed. can’t argue with that logic…😂].
• It was also reminisced by the Longs that, on a previous hash laid on Dartmoor by Triple Top, Dimwit came to grief in TT’s Love Gully, resulting in a badly-bruised ankle. No such luck befell him this time [Ed. Gah! Missed out on a Down Down, again, sure-footed Dimwit – you really must be clumsier than that].
• As an added bonus for the Longs, TT thought it would be a smart move to send them off down the Slope of Doom. Rear Entry [Ed. another case of identity crisis…?] complained about this, as it got his very clean trainers muddy, but it was much worse for Can’t Come, as – in his words – he had a dirty protest (commonly referred to as a Code Brown).
• As is the norm on SH4 hashes these days – in fact, everyday – Bit of Ruff and Little Chef arrived at the Circle Up 15 mins late, but due to smart running and clever short-cutting (of which Gaffer would be proud), and without Whisperer to provide additional directions, BOR caught up with the Longs somewhere around the reservoir [Ed. impressive ‘levelling up’, BOR.]
• Boaty, due to Tourettes, or loving the sound of his own voice, was heard to shout continually about barbed wire, and low-hanging trees. Something about this not affecting the hare was mentioned. [Ed. I bet he hasn’t heard that before…😆]
• It was noted by the Shorts at the beginning that there were two rescue vans out already; someone mentioned Olive had already pre-booked these for later.
• Talking of Olive, at the Circle Up she was somewhat concerned about the distance, as she was going to run the trail alone owing to the other Lost Causes having abandoned her. Ever the gentleman, Triple Top assured her he would get her around safely, but to be sure a fully-charged head torch was taken.
• Olive again, and this was surely coincidental (the car park was not on Shaggy’s list [Ed. surely an oversight; prime location!]), caught [Ed. hopefully in a purely metaphorical sense] a lady naked in the back of a van. The interior light was on, but not knowing the correct etiquette in this situation, she just observed with a horrified expression.
• Shaggy did not fall over!
• The Birthday song was regaled to Winnie and absent Ching Chong, much to delight of the local drinkers. [Ed. they really concealed that ‘delight’ masterfully…😂]

The Down Downs were awarded to:
• The Hare, Triple Top – for a perfectly adequate hash!
• Bit of Ruff – services to time-keeping
• Winnie – 21st birthday girl
• Olive, I think [Ed. affirmative] – for multiple wrongdoings
There were possibly others, who will remain nameless. [Ed. Can’t Come for virgin stint as RA/on behalf of absentee birthday girl, Ching Chong, and Gary Glitter, for virgin RA-ing last week…and also Twisted Sister (sorry – don’t recall why, but doubtless richly deserved for there to be a 7th DD awarded!)]

On On to SOUTH BRENT, again, courtesy of Willy Waver, possibly The Packhorse or possibly The Station House – who knows! [Ed. 👋 It is, indeed, The Packhorse, with Circle Up at the Station Road Carpark: please see event details below and on the SH4 Facebook Group]

The words were brought to you this week by the letter D.
(cue Sesame street music)
👣
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy highlights from the spectacular BURRATOR hash on 3 July 2024 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:

HASH 1477 – SOUTH BRENT, 10 July 2024

CIRCLE UP:
Station Road Carpark
Station Road
South Brent
What3Words: ///dynamic.crabmeat.fiction

ON DOWN:
The Packhorse
Plymouth Road
South Brent
TQ10 9
What3Words: ///sparrows.readers.newest

Hare: Willy Waver
RA: Squashed Balls
For full details, please see the Hash 1477 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

📝 If you’re the lucky Scribe at SOUTH BRENT next week, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (14 July), ideally – TVM! 📝

Add your photos of how the evening went down (Weds 10 July, 2024) to the Hash 1477 photo album, when it has been conjured into being.

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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events

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RAMBO SALCOMBE MARATHON 2024
Saturday 21st September, 2024

👣

🌟 🌟 🌟 Register here: https://bit.ly/RamboSM2024 🌟 🌟 🌟
OR scan the QR code, below:

👣
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SH4 MercHASHdise

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See Rizzo at the next meet for yours 👣