On Down is at the King William IV

Hash Menu: No need to pre-order

Scampi & chips: £7.95
Ham, egg & chips: £7.95 gf
Chips topped with beef/vegan chilli: £7.95 gf
Cheesy chips: £4.95 gf
Chips: £3.75 gf

The Words according to WILLY WAIVER

HASH 1506 – TOTNES
Firstly, thanks to my blessèd good luck at being chosen as the Scribe, I have the opportunity to wish you all a Happy New Year! (I have heard it said that it’s bad luck to wish people Happy New Year after 3rd January – I think they might have been English, but thanks to an amount of Scottishness under my Willy Waiver cloak, it is fine for me to do this, at least until Easter. [Ed. I don’t think we need to speculate as to what else might lurk under there…])

So, on with the evening’s events. (I expect that here will be many diversions to follow, as it was foggy out on the hash and I wasn’t paying attention in the pub – either a Dry January-induced Guinness Zero haze, or the fact that, according to my phone, the advertised 4-4.5 mile short was well over 5 miles [anyway, more than enough for me].)

Doggy Style called us to order and pointed out that Wet Spot was looking very frail and older than even Lazy Git’s older brother, so was unable to make it. Looking at the ‘We’ at the beginning of Wet Spot, I suspect there might be another reason: possibly a cunning plan to avoid being chosen for the words… [Ed. I think we’re all struggling to imagine WetSpot having ulterior motives… 🤔] So a sincere thanks to you, Wet Spot, for allowing me the honour – and get well soon.

Two virgins were introduced, and then it was over to hares, Whisperer and Overshot – the latter of whom was lurking in the background, embarrassed(?): apparently, he had been caught on the hop and brought the wrong pavement coloured chalk [Ed. pavement-coloured chalk, or coloured pavement chalk? Probably the former, as being roughly akin to mud-coloured sawdust or dry-grass-coloured flour, in terms of trail-marking suitability], and then been spotted changing out of a suit in a telephone box(?). These things happen when two months’ careful preparation has to be condensed into 30 seconds.

The distances were announced and mocked; we were told that it was a simple, flat, and well-laid hash with Overshot’s section in pavement-coloured chalk. We had one last look at a beautiful rising moon and headed off into the fog, from which – as far as I know – everyone safely emerged an hour or so later.

People appeared and then faded from view along the way. There was one flat bit at the beginning, but then normal service resumed, with ups (and downs), mud and brambles, and a crazy complicated section through the back alleys of Dartington. Thanks to Pugsley for guiding me through some of it before disappearing off into the fog.

Along the way, apparently:
• You can avoid being scratched by brambles by following really, almost indecently, closely to the person in front. Informed consent necessary? [Ed. Flour Power didn’t seem too perturbed by the hariette-in-question’s proximity 😆] (On a related matter, nettles only have a certain amount of sting in them, so if you hang back, letting the FRBs exhaust them, you can get through unscathed. This could be an SH4-sponsored research project for next summer. [Ed. a valuable topic of enquiry, I am sure the scientific community will agree]
• A tawny owl flew past, I think. I’m no ornithologist, but it wasn’t a barn owl; it was quite big, tawny coloured, and out at night. (Just googled it: tawny owls are the ones that hoot, and there was some hooting, so it probably was one of those [Ed. assuming you’re sure it was avian hooting…(?)] [Triple-bracket deployment just for you there, Dimwit.])
• I never realised that those little undulations along the main road from Dartington into Totnes were so **** big.
• Gary Glitter and Doggy Style were enticed, by an unworldly glow through the fog, into scouting for boys amongst KEVICC’s 5-aside football pitches. [Ed. but those young men would never have suspected, of course, because you cunningly turned your headtorches off… Foolproof. 😂]
• There were events (which – having skimmed last week’s words – seem to be becoming a thing) going on in Gary and Olive’s car involving underwear, or possibly the lack of it. [Ed. yes, pretty much standard behaviour 😘]

And, so, to the pub which was great, warm and fog-free.

Gary Glitter drew herself up to a full 5 9″ by standing on a chair: the pub and hares were thanked, stories were told, and Down Downs awarded to:

– The hares – Overshot and Whisperer (for whom there was water, as on a Dry January, or even longer: respect!)
– Vindaloo – for making it back on the bus
– Imelda – possibly for bringing a virgin
– one in-person for the other now no-longer virgin, Richard
– Piltdown Man for wearing sandals
– and Marty for her birthday.

Chaotic happy birthdays were howled – I think Squashed Balls might have got one too?

…And the down downs were drunk.

So, on on to MALBOROUGH, where the pantomime will be on. (I went to one there a few years back: it was very good. There was a terrifying, predatory Dame Edna character on the rampage through the audience, if I remember correctly.) (Ed. pantomime dress optional: Can’t Come will be attending as the rear-end of a pantomime horse, I think he said…?)
On on to MARLBOROUGH.

Photo credit: Live Wire
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy more haunting fog-enshrouded photos from the Totnes Hash on 15th January 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:

HASH 1507 – MALBOROUGH, 22nd January 2025

Don’t attempt to park at the Village Hall – the pantomime is on, so there will be no availability. Equally, surrounding streets are likely to be busy, so advise giving yourself a bit of extra time to find a parking spot and please car-share where possible. (There may be some parking near the church/Post Office, or further down Collaton Road [road leading to/past Village Hall].)

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Crossroads end of Village Hall Carpark
Malborough
What3Words: keepers.lakeside.floating

ON DOWN:
Royal Oak,
Higher Town,
Marlborough
TQ7 3RL
What3Words: awaiting.golden.unveils

Hare: Filth
RA: Doggy Style

HASH MENU at The Royal Oak:
Advance orders would be appreciated
• Deep fried brie – £5.75 …with chips £8
• Sausage and chips – £10
• Chilli and rice – £10
• Scampi and chips – £10
• Cheesy chips – £5
• Jacket with cheese and beans – £8

For further info, please see the Hash 1507 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 22nd January, 2025) to the Hash 1507 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Malborough on 22nd January, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (26th January, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events
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🌟🌟 POST-CHRISTMAS Hash Bash Weekend – 14th-16th February 2025 🌟🌟

If you are coming along to this hotly-anticipated event in the SH4 social calendar and still have to settle up, please send your balance asap to the SH4 bank account, quoting your hash name, and ping a quick message to Hash Cash (Blown Off) to confirm. If you’re not sure how much you owe, please speak to Filth/Blown Off.

Payment to SH4 Bank Account:
Acc. no.: 00263482 Sort code: 30-94-72

🌟Filth needs your menu selections asap for the gala dinner on Saturday night (please see options below), and choice of either meat or vegetarian pasty for the hash during the day 🌟

Very important: please let Filth/Doggy Style know if you have any dietary requirements that the hotel should be aware of.

Please pick a Starter, Main and Dessert from the options below:

Starters:
– Cream of Leek & Potato Soup
– Chicken Liver Pâté
– Goat’s Cheese Salad

Mains:
– West Country Chicken; white wine, mushroom and bacon sauce
– Baked Cod; herb & lemon crust with cheese & chive sauce
– Rustic Filo Pastry Tart

Desserts:
– Chilled Lemon Tart
– Warm Apple Pie
– Cheese & Biscuits

🌟You can confirm your choices to Filth via the Facebook Messenger group (or communicate to another hasher who is active on the group to pass on for you) 🌟

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the new SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .

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🌟 Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs you’re safely back. 🌟

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SH4 MercHASHdise

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next meet for yours.

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