King William IV


King William IV
45 Fore St

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The Words according to Yeuck

(Ed.: Eagle-eyed Words-conoisseurs will notice that the previous edition of The Words was, in fact, #1443. The ‘missing’ Hash #1444 – Boxing Day Hash and Swim at Challaborough – lives on only through the medium of verbal-storytelling…oh, and Rubbery’s hallowed photographic archive: Hash 1444 Tue 26th Dec 2023 Boxing Day Dip)

Hash 1445 – TOTNES

The Words according to Yeuck

Storm Gerrit threatened us with gale-force winds & torrential rain this ‘Twixmas evening, and that was possibly why only 27 brave/foolhardy hashers turned up – or maybe because it was a Squashed Balls trail…memories of his mammoth Totnes Rugby Club trail still haunt me.

As it turned out, the evening stayed dry and calm, and we were pleased to hear that Can’t Come stepped in to help Squashed Balls.

Rizzo called us to order and, after the obligatory joke and welcome to Wardi (3rd run), handed over to the hares, who began to argue over the distances: 3 for the Short, said Squashed Balls; ‘no, at least 4′ quipped Can’t Come…and 6, no 7(!!), for the Long.

We set off on an uphill start, with five – namely Piltdown Man, Georgie Porgie, Filth, Rubbery and Lazy Git – taking the Walkers’ route, which was a leisurely tour through Totnes town with plenty of opportunity for window-shopping, which Filth thoroughly enjoyed with every intention of returning when the sales start.

The Longs carried on up and up, giving Gaffer (he with the bionic hand) reason to complain – nothing new there, then. The Shorts, of which there were only four, went right and up Castle Street, then across the bypass to be directed by Squashed Balls onto a flooded lane, which Jyde initially refused to follow, asking Squashed Balls for an alternative, drier route. This is the last time Yeuck saw him as she is made of stronger stuff and forged her way along the ankle-deep muddy lane and on up to Shinners Bridge, then back down into Totnes, following the Dart.

Meanwhile, the Longs followed a long loop to re-join the Shorts near Shinners Bridge, where several decided to short-cut down the main road and not follow the trail along the woodland path past the Cider Press. This is where Overshot, Triple Top and Whisperer raced past Yeuck with a mile to go.

Gaffer was geographically embarrassed on the trail, going in the wrong direction, while Dimwit went the right way.
Olive, Lowtarse, Barbarella and Ching Chong ran together until Olive and Ching Chong were discarded by the other two for not running fast enough (thankfully, they were swept up by Can’t Come, who saw them safely home).
Undercovers led Rizzo astray to do a bit of train-spotting.

Final distances tonight were between 6.5 and 7.5 miles for the Long & 4.5 miles for the Short.

Overshot was tonight’s RA, telling us that he would do his best but he was suffering and losing his voice: he thought he might have tinsel-itis…

Squashed Balls was berated for driving around the trail, dropping Can’t Come off to lay sections in the pouring rain, staying dry himself, and for the lack of checks. Also, Ching Chong for forgetting the sign-in board.

Down Downs were awarded to:
• Squashed Balls & Can’t Come – hares
• Undercovers – trainspotting geek
• Gaffer – bionic hand
• Lowtarse – new shoes
• Olive – coming last

ON ON to HOPE COVE, Filth’s gaff, next week (Ed.: Weds. 3 January 2024, first SH4 Hash of the New Year!)



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