Please order food before the run, menu is on pub website here
The Words according to WHISPERER
Before blundering on with the usual Words buffoonery, an important note:
Squashed Balls has shared the following arrangements for the wonderful Twin Buffers’ (Audrey Rendle’s) send-off:
The funeral will be held on Tuesday 11th March at 3.30pm at St Mary Magdalene Church, Torquay, TQ1 4BX.
Following the service, there will be a wake at The Anchorage Hotel, Aveland Quay, Torquay, TQ1 3PT, where refreshments will be served.
N.B. It is requested that no black be worn, but plenty of colour.
🌟 👣 🌟
HASH 1514 – MARLDON
Just got a message from Shaggy asking if I had done the words: totally forgot I was doing them, so time to start. [Ed. So honest, Whisperer]
My battery charger decided to stop working today, so I couldn’t charge my headtorch. I took a back-up torch, but it was so bright I kept it turned off to avoid a down down. [Ed. Absolutely the logical decision.]
It was Squashed Balls’ and Boaty’s hash, so I was not sure what to expect: SB said 5 miles and mentioned Hangman’s Oak – I knew that if we did a 10 mile loop we could include it… After a health and safety briefing, warnings of adders and what to do if somebody gets bitten, we set off – in the direction of Hangman’s Oak…
At the first big check, or confusion point, everyone went wrong together, following an arrow that could have pointed in two different directions: first, we went up onto a footpath and followed it a long way – no flour – so we went back onto a long road, and followed it for half a mile. Still no flour. So, back to the footpath, and no flour again. Luckily the hare, Boaty, was there to not help us, and we eventually found some flour three-quarters of a mile along the road.
I’m using Overshot’s notes… There’s something written here about ‘bad handwriting’, but I can’t make it all out… (Ed. Neatly done 😂) Think it says the Shorts couldn’t decipher the first L/S split because of bad handwriting…
We were all warned during the health and safety briefing about the chance of tripping on a pothole, I think for Dimwit’s benefit. But Dimwit was already injured and was walking, so not much chance of that. I did trip on one myself, despite the warnings. [Ed. Well, someone’s got to… Honest AND selfless, Whisperer 🙏]
Who Gives a Shit was wearing a headtorch around his chest, and the torch was at chest height [Ed. unexpectedly…😆]. Rizzo saw the height of the torch and assumed it was Gary Glitter: she asked how she was, and started chatting to an imaginary Gary Glitter – and wondered why she didn’t give a shit. [👌🏻]
The planets had all aligned tonight; this brought luck to some and not to others. Not to Muckspreader, who was tricked into doing some overshooting for Overshot whilst Overshot ran back onto the correct trail and got to the front of the Longs. But things did go well for somebody in this Shaggy dog story: she got nearly all the checks right [Ed. Well, I’m not going to shatter the illusion with something so pedestrian as the truth…👀] and did not run into the low-hanging tree that we were warned about, even though she forgot her headtorch [Ed. Well, obviously, that’s because I took careful heed of the H&S briefing. Oh, and Marty leant me her – far superior – headtorch.]
After all the health and safety talks, Nokkers was still not educated and needed more information: Doggy Style explained further, demonstrating what not to do as she stood in the road and nearly got hit by a scooter. The scooter driver got a good telling off. [Ed. And 50 press-ups? No? What sort of P.E. teacher are you, DS?!]
The planets aligned for Rusty because it was her birthday and she was given some chocolates, which she used to torment us by putting on the table. Unopened. Overshot also thought they were aligned for him as the RA because he was named at the same pub, or so it was debated: he claimed to be some kind of superman [Ed. a paragon of modesty, as ever].
Man Pig came along to this hash, as it was local for him, in an old-fashioned Rolls Royce – or, at least, something with a massive bonnet…[Ed. Elizabeth Bennett was there? I totally missed the bit where we strayed into a 19th period drama 😳] – didn’t see it, but they said it was big. [Ed. Form an orderly queue, ‘wits’ of the hash…]
Snoop Dogg might have been on the hash tonight because somebody was talking about the Chronic – or it was Lowt’arse warning people of cars coming and getting her words confused? Easily done. It really confused Olive: she didn’t know what was going on, with the planets lining up and Lowt’arse shouting that.
Boaty was either a speedy hare or had been dropped off [Ed. Presuming from a car. Precious few hints of bikes/helicopters/hovercraft/hot air balloons by the scribe] all over the hash – he was all over it. It was thought that he was definitely all over steering and changing gear with one hand, and throwing out flour with the other… [Ed. Surely not!] And flour had been thrown over from the motorway onto the cycle path [Ed. Now, that takes some skill 👏]
Down Downs went to:
• Squashed Balls – Laying the trail for 5 miles and the hash being 5 miles and OH being the On Home, not Hangman’s Oak upside down.
• Boaty – being all over the hash and appearing everywhere on the hash.
• Dimwit – for doing the Short (that’s whats written here but don’t remember it)
• Nutcracker – Something to do with a dog bowl – I missed it…It also says Twitch [Ed. Twisted’s – sorry, Lowt’arse’s – faithful hound. But also, don’t look at me…no idea 😬!]
• Rusty – Birthday girl, but couldn’t drink because of driving, so not so lucky with the planets after all.
• Lowt’arse – mixing up the word ‘Petrol’ with ‘Chronic’ [Ed. Understandable. They sound so alike…😂]
• Know Nuts – Offering to be chief sucker if anybody should be bitten by an adder.
[Ed. Ever the gentleman 😁]
On On to AVONWICK, and two injured hares.
Photo credit: Squashed Balls
👣
🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy three (…) pics from the Marldon Hash on 26th February 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
👣
________________________________________
Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1515 – AVONWICK, 5th March 2025
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Outside The Avon Inn
Avonwick
South Brent
TQ10 9NB
What3Words: invoices.rumbles.loser
ON DOWN:
Inside The Avon Inn
Hares: Dimwit and WetSpot
🍕 FOOD 🍕
Basket meals available – no need to pre-order.
For further info, please see the Hash 1515 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 5th March, 2025) to the Hash 1515 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Avonwick on 5th March, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (9th March, 2025) – TVM! 📝
👣
________________________________________
SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the new SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .
👣
🌟 Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs you’re safely back. 🌟
👣
________________________________________
SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next meet for yours.
👣