The Words according to SQUASHED BALLS

🌟 👣 🌟

HASH 1517 – ELBURTON

We were warned, weren’t we? Silly Shunt and Fluffy Dice, hares extraordinaire[s], told us what to expect; they weren’t wrong. As we assembled in the car park of The Elburton Inn, we were told about steep banks, trip-wire brambles, dashels [Ed. no. I don’t know either…], whippy branches [Ed. ah, trees…the ever-present – yet always-surprising, to their unfortunate hasher victims – menace], shiggy. Even for the Walkers. But who cares, we are hashers: stoic, determined and sporting a “never say die” attitude. It was chilly, but still plenty of bare legs about. [Ed. well, the sun was out. Earlier in the day] Luckily, the amazingly dry weather meant that the hashers had some purchase on the slippery slopes. It was a typical Plympton-style hash, by all accounts, with plenty of off-roading, obstacles and even quite a decent tunnel. [Ed. PH3 does a good line in tunnels, I believe, but it seems SB maintains a formidable standard for incidental engineering structures on a hash.]

Being an old git, and having played squash that afternoon, I was not on a Long or a Short, so did not witness any of the events on those runs and relied on ‘The Truth’ from the RA to compile these notes. [Ed. why break with tradition? 😉] It would appear they all had a jolly time, but I did spot scratches on Shaggy’s legs in the bar, just above the ankles – this, though, is the hallmark of a hasher and a badge of pride [Ed. or inadequate leg-wear…]. Who Gives a Shit apparently ran around a rugby pitch several times [Ed. classic example of pathological-bramble-avoidance].

Back at the Hotel, Nice Tackle set out his view of the evening, based on some dodgy evidence-gathering from the hash and drawing attention to such events as National Stretch Marks Day and National Nurses’ Day [Ed. suspiciously made-up-sounding occasions…] before concentrating on the participants. I was mentioned because, after ordering beer and chips, I found out I left all my cards at home. In fact, they were in the car having fallen out of my phone. [Ed. neat little trick, that – one for the back-pocket 😘] Lazy Git, I will make it up to you.

Down downs were awarded to:
• Filth and Shaggy on their birthdays – a birthday they share with Tommy Cooper [Ed. if I didn’t know any better, I might worry that there was an attempt to draw some sort of comparison (of overt-fecklessness?) here…]. Doggy Style missed out on her birthday down down, having left before the awards [Ed. on account of feeling pretty unwell – what other reason could there be for dodg…sorry, missing out on a free fizzy beer?!].
• Winnie got one for being mother hen to the Walkers.
• Gaffer also got a drink of water down down, but no-one can remember why.
• Barbarella for completing her first half-marathon at the ripe old age of 59 – a tremendous feat. [Ed. *applause*]
• And, of course, hares Fluffy Dice and Silly Shunt for a nice trail.
Oh, the photo of that road sign [Ed. below, for those who missed it and like to feel as though they’ve already had a few pints… 😆] depicting a hedgehog reminded me of that shocking Channel 4 documentary last week about cruelty to animals, where these men placed a rat and a hedgehog in a pit and were betting on who was going to survive as they fought one another to the death. The hedgehog won on points [Ed. *groan*].

A thoroughly enjoyable evening, with all the ingredients in place: good company, great trail, nice pub. What could be better.

On On to The White Hart at MODBURY

Photo credit: Beefy.

Photo credit: Dimwit.
👣

🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy some further scrambling and tunnel-diving photo evidence from the Elburton Hash on 19th March 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻

👣
________________________________________
Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1518 – MODBURY, 26th March 2025

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Poundwell Meadow Long-stay carpark
PL21 0QJ.
What3Words: monday.vacancies.rivals

ON DOWN:
White Hart Inn
Church Street
Modbury
PL21 0QW
What3Words: daylight.lighters.amicably

Hares: Nokkers and Py

Hash Food:
🌟 Orders to Py/Nokkers by Tues morning (25/03/25), please! 🌟

For further info, please see the Hash 1518 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 26th March, 2025) to the Hash 1518 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Modbury on 26th March, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (30th March, 2025) – TVM! 📝
👣

________________________________________

SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .

👣

🌟 Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs you’re safely back. 🌟

👣
________________________________________

SH4 MercHASHdise

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next meet for yours.