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HASH 1519 – LUTTON
A beautiful evening started early. Gary was providing the transport but, due to some of the regulars not needing to be picked up, Sex Wax, Gary & myself arrived at Lutton a touch early… Well, actually, very early – about 6:40pm. (Ed. sounds suspiciously like some astute forward-planning…) The harriets were discussing how to spend the time. To a hasher, it was obvious: I made a beeline for the bar. They rapidly saw the value of the move and joined me for a drink. Seeing a pint, the locals questioned if we were not going running(?). We explained the ‘drinkers with a running problem’ thing. They thought it was great, and Gary press-ganged one of them, Lucy, a youngster who was part way through her fourth pint (Ed. therefore eminently qualified by hashing standards to tackle an uncertain number of miles over potentially hazard-strewn terrain. In the dark), into joining us. It transpired that she’d been taught cross-country running by our esteemed leader (even more esteemed after this revelation – wish my teachers had combined drinking and sport!). Anyway, after a bit more chat, it was time to Circle Up.
“Welcome to Luton!” to quote Olive from the previous week. Guess that might account for her absence, if she was in Luton, Bedfordshire, and SH4 was in Lutton (Ed. a distinct lack of aircraft was noted by the assembled). Doggy Style did the intros – including Lucy, her dog Mouse, and a friend who wasn’t quite so enthusiastic (perhaps she hadn’t been drinking and/or thought looking after her friend might be a bit more of a challenge than she’d signed up for?!?); her little sister had already seen the writing on the wall and disappeared. Great welcome back for Thing, too.
Very specific mileages were given for the Longs & Shorts by the hares, Jelly Baby & Dulux. Also, warnings about cattle/sheep, dogs on leads etc, but they were the ones Lucy looked after, so it was all going to be ok. At that point, Lowtarse abandoned her dog to Twisted Sister as he was looking a bit sheepish (Ed. as in peckish for sheep…?). Shaggy initially hadn’t bothered with her head torch as she was confident she’d be so fast that she’d get round in time, but on hearing that the long was six miles decided to take it (Ed. I mean, there’s obviously no point trying to argue any differently…but who knew the inadequacy of simply bringing a head-torch to the same postcode location? [Er, yes, that’s right: everyone]. Turns out you’re supposed to wear it [ideally on your head] on the run, too; how tedious.)
The trail was a classic hash, a lot of that down to the hares having got clearance from landowners to run outside of defined footpaths, through bogs and woods etc. It made the checks a lot more interesting, and a great trail, added to by the great weather, lovely views and a fantastic sunset. (Ed. 👌 And for a pretty glorious example of the latter, see below.)
Events on the trail:
At the beginning, on the flat, Lucy somersaulted over her own feet (nothing to do with the four pints of lager…), possibly tripping over the becoming pink baler twine she was using as a lead for Mouse. Gaffer blamed it on the cross-country teacher (Ed. And, as it transpired, so did the cross-country teacher!).
Very early on, Oui-Oui & Yeuck were seen coming out of bushes. Perhaps Oui-Oui was mis-named? Or maybe these are just athletes trying to lighten the load to run faster?
Not sure which part of the trail involved bats, but apparently Thing had one fly into her face. Meanwhile big bro’, Pugsley, helped Shaggy over the wire – who promptly zoomed off [Ed. *ashamed*. Vain attempts to atone for such brazen selfishness by holding open assorted gates were, of course, too little too late!]. Various others, including TB & Boaty, got nothing more than abuse from harriets for helping them over the wire; where are the ladies in the hash?!? (Ed. ahead… 😁)
There were strange goings-on at the front of the pack, with light-headed lycra boys blaming Can’t Come for using all of the oxygen by breathing heavily (Ed. those FRBs are a sensitive bunch – the merest fluctuation in atmospheric composition can have a quite devastating effect, don’t you know?). Boaty had his own problems breathing after a vicious elbow in the chest from Rizzo – not sure what the offence was?
Could have been a couple of ‘domestics’: Yeuck, holding the gate for the entire hash, then got tired and let it slam shut on Gaffer; Skye, having forgotten her head torch, was running round in circles in the dark whilst her other half, Francis, caringly suggesting ‘just leave her there’ (Ed. sometimes it’s the kindest way…).
Towards the end, there was a cheeky check-back, spotted by the ever vigilant Overshot.
Yeuck came into the pub and, seeing the chicken on the wall, said, “There’s a nice cock” – and “She should know,” said Gaffer!! (Ed. compulsory reply 😉)
Gary presided as Religious Advisor, starting by reminding the gathering that today was National Ferret Day and National Peanut Butter & Jelly Day (wonder if the two are connected: use one to lure back straying ferrets?). Bit of a problem with small writing on her phone notes, low lighting in the pub, short (like everything else) arms, but Gary resisted the offer of longer arms (Ed. ever-gracious), re-found her place in the notes and bounded on to the usual verbal abuse of hashers for their misdemeanours (Ed. yes, masterfully done, and from atop a not-overly-secure-looking chair: kudos, Gary!). This included Lowtarse, who, for some strange reason, only had one sock on. Then the call for the birthday song for Windy Puff for his 50th (must have had an easy paper-round), followed by down-downs to:
- Jelly Baby and Dulux: Hares for a great hash 👏.
- Lucy: An auspicious start to hashing, although there was a suggestion that she’d had enough (Ed. of hashing, or beer?).
- Shaggy: Thinking she could outrun the light (Ed. demoted to half a water: I think it was that or increase my annual subs…) .
- Thing: Welcome back 🥳
- Yeuck: Hogging the limelight (Ed. it’s about time…😊), with no less than three mentions above.
ONON to AVETON GIFFORD
Photo credit: Beefy
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy some more sunset-saturated scenes from the lush Lutton Hash on 2nd April 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1520 – AVETON GIFFORD April 2025
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Timbers (Tidal Road) carpark
Aveton Gifford
What3Words: huddle.complain.shepherdess
ON DOWN:
The Fishermans Rest
Fore st
Aveton Gifford
Kingsbridge
TQ7 4JL
What3Words: enthused.spillage.parsnip
Hares: Shaggy & Rusty Bottom
Hash Food:
🌟 Pre-orders by TUESDAY MORNING (8 April) to Shaggy via comments on SH4 Facebook post or the ‘Keep on Hashing messenger’ group. Chip orders will be available on the night, too.🌟
MENU for The Fisherman’s Rest, Aveton Gifford:
- Salt & pepper squid £9.75
- Breaded whitebait £8.25
- Sausages & chips £7.00
- Battered Sausages & chips £7.10
- Burger & chips £7.75
- Scampi & chips £9.25
- Chicken goujons & chips £8.50
- Veggie Burger & chips £8.75
- Beef chilli nachos £12.50
- Beef chilli & rice £11.95
- Gammon steak, chips & egg £13.95
- Ham egg & chips £12.50
- Golden Scampi chips, salad & peas £14.25
- Chips £3.95
- Cheesy Chips £4.70
For further info, please see the Hash 1520 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 9 April, 2025) to the Hash 1520 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Aveton Gifford 9th April, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (13th April, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run .
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).Whisperer (developed by our very own digital-wizard, checking-out/checking-in app to log you out on trail using the new-fangled see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hashDon’t forget to
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Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs you’re safely back.
SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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