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HASH 1521 – CADOVER BRIDGE
[Ed. Just remarkable coincidence that the software auto-corrects this to ‘Cadaver Bridge’…? You decide!]
Names have not been changed to protect the innocent and all accounts are completely true! [Ed. as per tradition, of course. Anyone who might think to question the veracity of The Words…simply needs another drink in order to accurately recall this version.]
As the hashers cars gathered at Cadover Bridge carpark, it was noted that they were surrounding a few other vehicles with strangely steamed-up windows…rocking around… The occupants must have been looking for something they had dropped in the footwell… [Ed. the only explanation I could think of, too…] Dimmers could be proudly heard stating he had an oddly sore throat…as he appeared from Lazy Git’s car with Wetspot, grinning [👀]. Wetspot was then seen skulking off with a brown paper bag behind a bush to secretly eat a Gregg’s steak slice – knew it!
The Circle Up began with hashers appearing from various bushes and vehicles, and Doggy Style racing into the carpark in a gangster-esque blacked-out Land Rover Defender. DS delivered the Health and Safety spiel, something about dogging, and ‘seagull-ing’, whatever that is… Must ask Doggy Style as am too afraid to Google-search it [Ed. some might be content to never know…] !
Over to the Hares…. The newly-formed Nice Entry, previously Nice Tackle and Re-Entry, denied all responsibility for any safety in respect of the impending hash, including a specific danger element, as per article 12 subsection 6 of the South Hams guidebook. There was some discussion, then, on whether the trail was actually in the South Hams, and the fact the Plympton Hash marks were being used, much to the disgust of most! Lies about distance, the trail being flat, no water or any hills were briefed by both hares [Ed. reassuring to hear all other hash criteria were duly observed], and then the hashers were off: Longs to the left and Shorts to the right.
Blown Off was leading, as Re-Entry was haring (but was itching to get involved); a small loop, culminating in both Longs and Shorts arriving at the previously-discussed danger element: a river crossing. While not usually an issue, this river looked more like a Canadian white-water rafting run! Rusty seized the opportunity to lead the way, taking two steps in…to then be seen leaning to one side before suddenly disappearing into the swirling rapids! Blown Off seized the opportunity, bounding past her [Ed. ever the gent 😆] to then also be consumed by Poseidon’s younger, more-butch cousin as well [Ed. while the South Hams/Dartmoor is arguably one of the lesser-known, furthest-flung outposts of Ancient Greece, he should really have expected nothing less…]. Rusty, all but submerged at this point, apart from one boob pointing out – which was luckily where her phone was stashed [Ed. not this hasherette’s first rodeo/river-crossing…!] – was looking back hoping to see her fellow hasherettes coming to the rescue, but instead saw Wetspot leading the majority to short-cut like the Pied Piper of South Hams [Ed. Unbeliev-…oh, wait. Good to see your essential Wetspot-ness is not at all diminished since your injury, Wetspot: welcome back! 😘]. Beef Curtains was heard to state that he would be swept away, looking at the others, so also retreated. Five brave souls managed the crossing, including Triple Top, Anchorman and Can’t Come forming a human chain to bridge the torrents, with Olive and Low-t’arse bringing up the rear like true Longs! 👏
The hash was on, Longs chasing the Shorts down, in, around, up and down, through gorse bushes and stony trails. GHR was hailed a hero for leading the Shorts over the bridge to avoid wet tootsies, though rumour has it Doggy Style was the actual hero. Reaching the second Long/Short split, the Longs stretched into two groups, with the Shorts diving right, happy to be heading back around. The Longs started up the road, darting onto the roadside bank, following the dust. A small group leading not sure if they were the only longs arriving at a fish hook, tracking back to back of the small group then continuing back up the road. Reaching the upper carpark overlooking the quarry, Blown sat on the HA-HA as the rest of the group reached it, with the glorious sunset filling the sky to the right. [Ed. pure poetry, TT] While the small group surveyed the beauty, Can’t Come was heard mumbling something about being a character out of the Blue Oyster Bar! [Ed. I did Google that… I am just ever so slightly concerned that, now mid-April, leather-clad hashing may present a very real risk of dangerous overheating, Can’t Come?]
On that note, the group turned back to get back to the Short split, Blown and Muckspreader talking Swedish…house design and bungalows. Cant Come‘s interest was piqued by the Swedish part [Ed. naturligtvis]. Triple Top was just behind, with Anchorman, only for Wetspot to overtake Triple Top – who then stated he would have to retire if this carries on! Must be his [Wetspot’s] dust-like Vegan bones and the rabbit food he is always eating making him lighter [Ed. be careful not to pay him too many compliments, now…😉]! The group then passed the rest of the Longs – Rizzo, WGAS, Lactaster, Olive and Low-t’arse – guess the fish hook didn’t quite work! Olive and Low-t’arse pushed on to the HA-HA like true Longs: good work. Rumour has it that, as they were coming back down to the Short split, Olive proudly started to push the pace, saying to Low-t’arse that Re Entry was watching them from the split – only to realise it was an orange life-buoy on a post when they got closer! [Ed. easily done… 😆 Not known for standing still for any length of time, though, Re-Entry.]
Back to the Shorts, where there was also some excitement occurring: Lady Godiva realised she had lost her phone, and Doggy Style took charge, directing the shorts in a military-style search and rescue mission, combing the trail in a five-person grid until the pink cased phone was located! [Ed. a master at work… That’s why DS is GM!] The third Long/Short split saw the Shorts heading back toward the carpark, Longs off on the last loop, Wetspot fading (fortunately) as the pace picked up and the sun was setting. (Beef Curtains will have some awesome photos [Ed. He does. Added a couple extra to the usual one on account of just how stunning they are!]). There were reports of WetSpot flashing his Vegan-ness [Ed. yikes. The Words were submitted via an email address which badged them ‘Unclassified’, but with no warning that they might be X-rated. Hope everyone has a cold flannel to hand…], not realising he was right by the road back to the carpark.
Just like that, the Longs and Shorts rush into the carpark as the sun set: perfect timing!
In the pub
Back to the Moorland Hotel, where we were welcomed in. The bar filled up quickly with hashers eager to get a drink. Points of interest included: Beef Curtains pulling the entire stand of snacks over, fighting to get a packet of peanuts for Blown Off [Ed. must be love… 😆] , and Nice Tackle drinking too much river water and asking if anyone else could hear the Cuckoo whilst out on the moors. Doggy Style ushered everyone into the reception room so as not to disturb the other guests, pulling out a five-page document detailing all the global national days but settling on ex-spouses and gardeners, and some gumph about meteor showers and it only being eight months until Xmas! [Ed. how faultlessly logical… 👀]
Down Downs
Hares – Re Entry had to leave early, fearing the backlash from the river crossing, so only Nice Tackle braved it, like a true Plympton Hasher!
Birthday down downs – Olive and Can’t Come
Dimmers – for his questionable sore throat
Lady Godiva – for causing the military-style combing of the moor to find her pink-cased phone.
On On till next time (Ed. MALBOROUGH), TT
Photo credit: Beefy
Photo credit: Beefy
Photo credit: Beefy
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy some more fantastic sunset-bathed photos from the (thankfully cadaver-free) Cadover Bridge Hash on 16th April 2025 by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook page 📸 🏃🍻
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HOT CROSS BUN HASH 1522
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By all accounts, a fantastic, seasonal day out – courtesy Olive, Blue Nun, Imelda and Filth – with April-appropriate weather, fun trail, and some excellent Easter (well, root veg-based) costumery and, of course, abundant chocolate. The beginning of a brilliant new SH4 tradition?! here’s hoping.
This soggy but definitely super Spring hash also saw Filth present a cheque in the sum of an impressive £825.00 for the South West Coastpath – just a part of the charitable funds raised through last year’s Salcombe Coastal Marathon event.
Photo credit: Doggy Style [Ed. Haunting… 🤣]
Photo credit: Doggy Style
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1523 – ST GEORGE’S DAY HASH – MALBOROUGH – 23 April, 2025
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
Malborough Carpark
What3Words: https://what3words.com/increases.solution.tequila
ON DOWN:
The Royal Oak
Higher Town
Marlborough
TQ7 3RL
What3Words: https://what3words.com/awaiting.golden.unveils
Hares: Filth
For further info, please see the Hash 1523 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the day went down (Weds 23rd April, 2025) to the Hash 1523 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page , courtesy: Rubbery.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at Malborough on 23 April, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (27 April, 2025) – TVM! 📝
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom or Ching Chong before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with the ‘On Secs once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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