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Ed. Another week, another scribing duty shirked…*sigh*
Last week’s self-appointed Scribe, none other than our fearless (and ever-so-slightly-less esteemed, now…) GM, has failed to deliver the goods again this week! However, on the strength of his prolific trail-laying over the festive period – and probably something like sovereign immunity as GM – he will doubtless be excused.
Alas, last Wednesday’s curiously reluctant Scribe has also proved as elusive as the mysterious will’-o’-the-wisps definitely abroad in Hembury woods last Wednesday…SO, (with thanks to my unwitting donors 😬) I’ve just plundered Strava and stitched something together from stolen activity updates…
HASH 1564 – HEMBURY WOODS, BUCKFASTLEIGH
“Hares: Bad Willy Tripping. Fab trail through Hembury woods. Weaving through brambles, dodging tree stumps and slaloming down banks of leaves. Cooled by drizzle, but no dip in the Dart. Nice run around the woods; nice to be not freezing. Great trail! Great 1st trail of 2026 for SH4. Hash 1564. Evening run. Evening run. Evening run. Evening run…”
Ok, so Strava wasn’t the goldmine of content I had gleefully imagined it would be when I had that creative brainwave…
A little bit extra, then, mainly because it was Keeps Tripping’s virgin lay, and (I think) a bit deflating not to get some sort of write-up for your hare-ing efforts:
Circle-Up looked remarkably akin to yet another prime dogging location (please ref.- oh, any number of previous hashes…) – that, or an even-lower-budget Blair Witch – situated as it was amidst the lowering woods of Hembury & Holne, just round the corner from Buckfastleigh Abbey. Anchorman almost expended all his hashing energy strenuously resisting a certain mischievous female’s persistent advances, but Meg eventually admitted defeat and reserved her energy for the more traditional pursuit of tripping unsuspecting hashers on trail.
Keeps Tripping, (self-appointed) mouthpiece for the hare-ing trio (KT, Badcock and Willy Waiver – in case you were unable to fathom that from the fiendishly cryptic name-splicing above…😉) and wearing his Hash Haz hat with commendable vigour, provided a thorough H&S briefing for the trail ahead – also noting that, owing to the woods’ National Trust, there may be ever so slightly fewer marks than would be optimal…although the hares had made valiant efforts to restore these at the last-minute.
The hash pack, Longs and Shorts diverging after a mere few bounds, quickly dispersed in the dense woodland, the Longs heading almost immediately downhill via a rocky, slippery track to pursue a satisfyingly ‘technical’, occasionally confounding, frequently surprising trail that zig-zagged up and down through the trees and along rock-strewn tracks (as well as some definitely-not-tracks…) awash with recent-rainwater rivers. There was brazen short-cutting, a smattering of minor injuries – a turned ankle here (Livewire), a leafy stumble there (Rizzo) – and, most remarkably of all, some admirable trail-scouting to weave us back along the pretty (root-gnarly) river-bank and up through the woods on the opposite side of the road from whence we started. (More than one hasher was utterly disorientated as this realisation dawned, particularly after suffering the earlier dismay that followed battling up through another bramble-thicket – sorry, ‘path’ – only to NOT find ourselves back at the carpark. Not nearly.)
All back to the warmth of the cosy Abbey Inn at Buckfastleigh, where we were treated to a consummate turn at RA-ing by Gaffer (once he’d sourced sufficient light to read his own notes… If only you’d printed them, Gaffer: much easier to read! 😆). Notable items included:
- Blown-Off chuntering away animatedly about his new job at the front of the FRB pack, misguidedly thinking Muckspreader – or anyone – could hear a single word he was saying;
- Livewire casually almost taking Shaggy out with a two-footed downhill tackle as she was paused at the edge of a small (but not that small) drop to consider the safest way (not that way…) down to the path below;
- Rizzo, although back from the exotic climes of Goa, seemed to have relaxed a little too much and her languid legs just refused to keep pace with her downhill momentum, resulting in a (I’m sure eminently dignified) fall (thankfully no serious injuries to report);
- The hares had apparently recce’d the route no less than three times (thorough), but still managed to get lost at one point – probably, it was suggested, because they’d dropped their map, which was thoughtfully retrieved by the GM and ceremoniously restored to them by Gaffer – mildly damp and crumpled, owing to Badcock having forgotten his toilet roll for woodland pit stops, he later revealed, to Blown Off’s palpable horror.
- There was also some (undoubtedly tall) tale about new-ish recruit, Dirty Bum Bum, but I’m afraid I only remember that there was one, distracted as I (and apparently everyone) was by Gaffer’s silent pronunciation of her second Bum (not a sentence you read every day…).
Down downs were awarded to:
- Badcock, Keeps Tripping & Willy Waiver – Hares
- Olive – just because…There was also a glorious ‘mis-speaking’ moment/Spoonerism, but – tragically – I can’t remember it (gah!)
- Blown Off – brazen short-cutting? Wasted anecdotes?
- Rizzo – uncontrolled downhill running (or falling, by anyone else’s definition).
On on to HEMBOROUGH (nr BLACKAWTON)
Photo credit: Beef Curtains
🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy a smattering of other photos from last Wednesday’s woodland adventure at Hembury & Holne Woods, Buckfastleigh, by heading to the Hash 1564 photo album on the SH4 Facebook page. 🏃 📸 🍻
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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:
HASH 1565 – 14th January, 2026
CIRCLE UP 7.25pm
The Sportsman’s Arms, Dartmouth, TQ9 7DE
https://w3w.co/commutes.doing.swordfish
ON DOWN:
Inside The Sportsman’s Arms, Dartmouth, TQ9 7DE
Hares: Lactaster & Squashed Balls
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🍝 Hash Food: Pre-order with the pub before the hash. Hares will circulate a menu in advance. 🍝
For more info, please see the Hash 1565 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.
Add your photos of how the evening went down (on Weds 7th January, 2026) to the Hash 1565 photo album on SH4’s Facebook page.
📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at HEMBOROUGH on 14th January, please (please!) submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (18th January, 2026) – TVM! 📝
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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY
Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:
🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟
Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.
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Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).
Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back.
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SH4 MercHASHdise
Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!
Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊
See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.
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