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Hash 1575 – SHAUGH BRIDGE

After escaping from doing the words for a long time, I was annoyed that somebody – who wasn’t the RA – suggested that I do them.  I can’t remember who it was (Ed. I think it was the GM, Whisperer… 👀), but it will come back to me and I will definitely be recommending them for Words in future.

It was Gaffer’s hash and he let us know that we would be getting wet on the Long and the Short: I thought we would be swimming, and wondered if everyone would make it back alive.

We started out going up the steps next to the old ruins. I was in the lead but quickly ended up near the back after going the wrong way round a bush (Ed. Behave, you lot. Honestly – minds forever in the gutter…).

Next we went through a tunnel and then had to scale a wall; it was OK for those of us that didn’t bring their dogs, but Low T’arse did bring her dog. And could not get her dog up the wall. Which was higher than head height.

Blown Off was nearly swept off by the strong current of the river – and all for nothing, as he had checked the wrong way and was left clinging on to a boulder in the middle of the river as we all ran past wondering what he was doing.

I had heard about Boaty’s singing on the hash and wondered what I had missed: was he an undiscovered talent? I got to hear that tonight and looks like this will be a new weekly thing. And no, it was not an undiscovered talent. (Ed. A little harsh. Or is it just that it is now an emphatically ‘discovered’ talent…?) I blame Overshot because this all started after this Ace of Spades stuff. I will have to train harder, so I’m ahead of him – or run slower.

I was also being blinded by Keep Stripping’s (Ed. some people hear ‘Keeps Tripping‘… 😂) jacket – sensory overload whilst trying to avoid falling to my death on the long steep climb up to the Dewerstone.
The Shorts had to guess the way as there were no marks – or so it was reported by those that did the Short: Good Shag said it was laid with a 500g bag of flour and a teaspoon – and with loads left over to bake a cake for Yeuck on their wedding anniversary. Hot Pants was disgusted at Gaffer’s gnarly hash, saying it was the ‘worst day of her life’ – looking at Strava they had run more than the Longs (Ed. good effort! Although do I detect the merest whiff of a challenge to next week’s hare…? Boaty: you’re up!).

Last week, Oui Oui noticed that Jyde brings a Mars Bar along to eat on the hash so, this week, she tried to steal it. Jyde escaped by jumping away from her, then ate the mars bar before she could take it. (Ed. ninja-like confectionary-scarfing skills. It’s a matter of survival.)

We came to an army crawl-style tight tunnel which was about 10 inches high and 20 inches wide. Boaty found the start of the tunnel and started guiding people through it, but he wouldn’t go through himself. Rusty said her boobs were too big and she would get stuck. Our GM, Blown Off, didn’t go through either. Or Rizzo: I heard Who Gives a Shit telling Rizzo that one day she might need to crawl through a tunnel like this and would be unprepared. (Ed. so wise. And perhaps ever so slightly sinister…)

There were three river crossings: the last one came up to my waist – one slip and I would have had to swim, had my phone in one hand, car keys in the other.  Some were reported to have short-cutted this last river crossing, or was it just Dimwit? (Ed. yes, let’s say that 😁)

Back at the Moorland Hotel, Pugsley accused Shaggy of falling over, but she said he lied and she didn’t and landed on her feet (Ed. thereby emphatically not a fall). The barman was calling somebody for their food: “Over Shirt” (Ed. he needs something to keep his undershirt clean at dinner 😘). She’s Ready described hashers who crawled through the tunnel like piglets being born from a mother pig.  Why pigs? (Ed. You ask all the important questions, Whisperer.)

Down Downs went to:

• Gaffer and Yeuck – Hares
• Hot Pants – Bad Day
• Oui Oui – Trying to steel Jyde’s Mars Bar
• Shaggy –  Birthday and (can’t read Overshot’s writing [Ed. pass])
• Blown Off – getting swept away
• Keeps Tripping, Boaty and Rusty for the tunnel shenanigans.

On On to CORNWOOD

Whisperer

Photo credit: Beefy
🏃 📸 🍻   You can enjoy a couple more photos from the “gnarly with a capital ‘G’” Shaugh Bridge hash on 25th March 2026 by checking out the Hash 1575 photo album on the SH4 Facebook page. 🏃 📸 🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣: 
HASH 1576 –  1st April, 2026
CORNWOOD (it honestly is)

CIRCLE UP 7.25pm

Outside the Cornwood Inn, The Square, Cornwood, PL21 9PU
Https://what3words.com/paramedic.empty.requiring

ON DOWN:
Inside the Cornwood Inn, The Square, Cornwood, PL21 9PU

Hare: Boaty McBoatface
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For more info – I’m not even joking –  please see the Hash 1576 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

Add your photos of how the evening unfolded (on Weds 1st April, 2026) to the Hash 1576 photo album  on SH4’s Facebook page.

📝 If you are the lucky Scribe at CORNWOOD on 1st April, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (5th April, 2026) – TVM! 📝

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SH4 ‘EALTH & SAFETY

Please make a note of the SH4 hash phone number and add it to your phone:

🌟 SH4 hash phone number: 07922 103701 🌟

Use this number to call for assistance if you come ‘unstuck’ out on the trail, or need to get a message to ‘base camp’ (On Down) during the run.

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  Don’t forget to see Rusty Bottom before the hash to log you out on trail using the new-fangled checking-out/checking-in app (developed by our very own digital-wizard, Whisperer).

Don’t forget to also check back in with Rusty once you’re safely back. 

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SH4 MercHASHdise 

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See a member of the committee at the next hash meet to get yours.

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