Hash 1063


7:30 pm - 10:30 pm


Bear & Blacksmith
The Bear and Blacksmith, Chillington, TQ7 2LD
Hares: Overshot & Dimwitt
What 3 Words: flop.carrots.fuss

Event Type

he Words: Chilly in Chillington. Bear and Blacksmith.

There was some confusion as to the true starting point of the hash and considerable consternation for our esteemed new Religious Adviser as to whether she had inadvertently chosen the gents instead of the ladies toilets in the pub.

However when we had gathered in the pub car park like a particularly unruly class at school we finally settled down to a gentle din, but not without some prompting from our particularly loquacious and informative GM. As it turns out there was a cruel incident before we got there this evening in which a real live bear was killed by the locals for some misdemeanours near the blacksmith thereby neatly providing a name for the pub.

Other namings at the simplest level involve listing two observed objects and putting them together to form a long lasting and meaningful name; but more of that later.

Most shocking of all in the circle up was Overshot admonishing Hekkel for talking to her neighbour and not paying attention. Keen observers will have noticed the author in awe and avidly taking notes of how that was achieved.

And then we all shot off predominantly in the same direction and Hardcore prawn immediately upset ReddyMix by announcing her intention to run the long. Piddler meanwhile lured Ladybouy to turn off her light in the dark moonlit sky in order for her to look at a belt – apparently Orion’s belt although why he left it there is difficult to fathom. Anyway, sympathies have to go to Wet Spot who is now getting so old that he has hobbled the short route but took out his frustrations by standing completely still and ordering the shorts about on various errands that they don’t usually do like checking false trails and home deliveries of health food.

Ungentlemanly behaviour dear reader was sadly observed by Goolie who was seen running away from his wife and Boaty McBoatface who was seen running towards Arso and knocking her clean over. Wet spot and Dead Man Walking then joined in and Boaty calmed the situation by gently remarking that Hot Tottie and Arso were behaving like ‘Frisky Heffers’. Brave work Boaty.

In other news, unusual behaviour was exhibited by Cowpat who was observed wandering about asking random people where she had left her car.

Back in the pub our newest religious adviser bent under the beam (not a euphemism) to deliver a sparkling performance again. We must have been on our best behaviour because not even Hekkel or Piddler failed to quieten and our RA Spotty Botty remarked wistfully that ‘My children never go this quiet’. She thanked the pub and noted that once again the theme of her mutterings concerned marital dispute, initially Hekkel and Jyde and this week Goolie and Gingang. (see previous note).

Birthday renditions of a vaguely recognisable birthday song were bestowed on the Jerk and Cowpat. Like a conductor in front of her orchestra our RA announced with consummate authority that ‘We are done’! As quick as a flash she was then on to the naming of Sarah, who, on apparently finding a stick (presumably from some undergrowth or bush she had passed by) had somehow made its way into her undergarments made the fatal mistake of commenting on this out loud. Spotty Botty naturally reached the conclusion that ‘Sticky Bush’ was that only possible name that could be bestowed. In time honoured fashion, no alternative was offered but the roar of approval indicated little doubt as the popularity of the naming.

16 years is an insanely long time to be doing the same thing and expecting a different result (with apologies to Einstein); Knockers was rewarded with a different result in that this is the first time that someone has given her a company T shirt in the presence of an applauding and appreciative audience.

Sound drinking performances were observed by Sticky Bush (for providing the raw material for a simple descriptive name), Jerk and Cowpat (for simply each of them being one year older), Boaty (for knocking people over), Overshot and Dimwit (for placing and re placing dots of flour according to the rules).

Jyde 19/1/17