|A to Z of SH4 Hasher’s.
Observations of Hash No 1116
(Some may even be factual)
• Ah-So not in attendance after getting stuck behind Santa’s sleigh, and being traumatised by a butterfly in her logs.
• Boatface Joinery, You heard it here first, Just like Fatface clothing, but without the clothes, and more wood.
• Cowpat, warming herself in the pub in front of the open fire.
• Deadman Walking, Still working on the words for hash 1115, but taking time out to celebrate 100 wasted Wednesday evenings.
• Extendable Hashing, A type of hash system which treats a hash as a bit of string, and uses a true for bucket lookup. The piece of string method is commonly used by Hashers as a means of measurement when plotting a route. Therefore a 6 mile hash in Totnes can actually become 13 miles.
• Fallen Woman shaking a bag collecting money for her fishy fingers and chip hash.
• Flage-No-Lay comparing recently acquired strap on’s with Boaty Mcboatface.
• Gaffer easily spotting the sawdust after consuming far too many carrots.
• Ging Gang and Goolie arriving late after getting on the wrong train, and ending up in Scotland.
• Hekkyl, newly qualified doctor in patient care, Recklessly throwing a stick in her own face.
• IVF not running in the rain, As he is still not dry after the Salcombe hash.
• Just Horny arriving late and giving the finger to anyone in her way, especially kind hashers holding open the gates.
• JP celebrating his birthday, getting soaking wet.
• Jerk not allowed out hashing, until he has finished plumbing out bathroom No 8 at Finch Towers.
• Knownuts, missing again, Has he become a secret Cross Dresser ?
• Lo-Tarse climbing into the open fire to get warm.
• Marty, Lycra on,Lycra off, “Bugger this weather I am off for lasagne and a pint of cider.
• No Thatch enjoying watching his beloved West Ham giving Arsenal a football lesson.
• Orrable Farmer staying at home in the warm planning holiday No4 this month.
• Overshot amazed by the Ham, Egg and Chips Pizza being consumed by Dimmers.
• Piltdown man calling everyone to order due to abysmal singing at the down down’s.
• Pugsley last seen running out of the pub to catch his lift that had “accidently” left without him.
• Piddler lost in a field on the hash, After his stand in carer
Going Down had run off and left him.
• Rizzo, Hashing in Thursday’s Sex pants and Frenchie having to cover up her large hole whist getting changed.
• Rubbery dishing out Buckfast wine to cold and wet hashers coming off the Moor.
• Suishi getting lost after the first mark and ending up at Stipley Bridge.
• Twin Buffers having to console Squashed Balls after another wasted trip to the Theatre of Yellows.
• Twisted Sister celebrating birthday No??
• U-Bend having a well earned night off from Piddlers moaning.
• Virgin Louise, First time, On a night like that. Obviously likes it tough.
• Wetspot not in attendance due to training for tribal Clash 2018.
• Whisperer not in attendance due to lack of Stella on draught.
• Willy Waver bravely sweeping the hash in testing conditions.
• X. The huge one that Rear Entry ran past whilst trying desperately to win the Hash. ( The long hash was actually jointly won by Gaffer and Dimmers)
• Yuletide came early for young at heart Lazy Git, Having a well earned sherry after laying the hash on his 92nd birthday.
• Zwarte Piet, (As you all know is Black Pete in Dutch folklore, A helper to Santa for handing out the presents).
On Downs awarded to
Willy Waver – Hare
Lazy Git – Hare/Birthday Boy
JP – Birthday Boy
Twisted Sister – Birthday Girl
Boaty – Strap On envy.
Hekkyl – Lack of patient care
ON ON and Happy Christmas for 2017, Dimmers