Hash 1127 – Post Xmas Hash Bash 2018


All Day Event


Palace Hotel
Esplanade Road, Paignton, Devon, TQ4 6BJ
Hares: 1126 Boaty McBoatFace + 1 & 1127 U-Bend +1
What 3 Words:

Event Type

Friday 9th to Sunday 11th February at the Palace Hotel, Paignton
Friday and Saturday Nights just £120 per person all in!
(£140 non-members)
Stay Sunday night too add £27.50 to include dinner & breakfast!
Prices include:
– Dinner, bed and breakfast both nights
– A Friday night after dinner pub crawl, Saturday’s Hash and Sunday’s Hare of the Dog Hash
– A formal 6 course dinner on Saturday night, to include a glass of sherry and canapés on arrival, plus wine on the tables, all followed by a live band!
– Double, single or twin rooms available
– Use of the fully equipped contemporary gym, heated swimming pool, luxury spa pool, sauna, steam room and relaxation area!
To secure your space a £40 deposit per person is required
Limited spaces and real names when booking
First come first served!

Post Xmas Hash Bash 2018 inc Hash 1126 (the long wet one) & Hash 1127 (the long short one)

Palace Hotel on 09/02/18 – 12/02/18

Here follows an account of the weekend’s shenanigans!

Friday Night Pub Crawl. 
This almost was put in jeopardy by the preceding five course meal in the hotel despite Goolie forcibly sitting all Guests down at 6:30pm. The Crawl didn’t start until gone 9pm and we visited the delights of Wetherspoons (£2:29 an Ale).

The Coachhouse didn’t accept hat-wearing (and the service was slow) so half the crawl marched on to where the hats were acceptable in Peaky Blinders. The surviving Pink ladiesand the Turks and Threesome combined and renamed themselves the Perks and Slap-happily drank absinth in their own private booth until they were kicked out. Goolie got into Peakys and bought a round only to find that his posse couldn’t get in as they were too old, so he had to drink all 5 pints of the Devon Dumpling himself.

Boaty was persuaded by a local lady of the night that thenext pub, The Top of the Town, was closed so we went on to The Spinning Wheel only to find again that Crawl was again split in half as the other half were in the ‘open’ Top of TheTown. Not much else happened that I can remember other than Boaty got very sweaty, (Dancing I must add) and Marty lost her Cardie.

On the way back Marty also lost her legs several times and had to be picked up outside the hotel and halfway up thestairs to her room!

Hash 1126 (the long wet one) Long 13 miles – Short 7.5 miles
At the circle up Overshot had everyone in stitches (!) with after his ‘a brief history lesson on how the Hotel came into existence thanks to Isaac Singer of the sewing machine fame’. Boaty McBoatface was surprisingly active and managed to get out and lay the trail. However, on setting off we were soon to realise that maybe he wasn’t all-functioning. He had discovered a unique style of putting down checks after the hash had gone through. This though did keep us all together and we all made it to the first beer stop at Ubend‘s abode, who had kindly taken up the carpets so that we didn’t have to take off our shoes.

By the time we had left the weather was on the turn and the6mm that Dimwit predicted was starting to sweep in. TheFRB group I was in arrived at a beach and the Long Short split, from the complete reverse direction to the annoyance of Hare no.2 Re Entry who was waiting there. He then went on to blame Hare No.3 Pinky for not laying the trail clearly with enough flour. We then decided to continue the wrong around just to confuse any of the chasing pack who had found theright way. Rabid was also going against the tide and decided to start at the end in Brixham and run backwards to find theforward runners.

The long was Murder as it went all the way to Agatha Christies Greenway and back again to within 1/4 of mile to where the split was. It was all too much for Whisperer and his Paddle clown shoes who decided to stop at the Manor Inn to recover. Dead Man Walking got left behind and then got lost clocking up 15 miles in total. Mr Olive who apparently wasn’t a runner did remarkably well and led the Longs on many an occasion, only to go the wrong way/misdirected by the accompanying FRBs.

There was a booby prize for the first Hasher and Harriet to get to Rubbery‘s 2nd beer stop. It wasn’t that booby as two bottles of Prosecco were duly awarded to Orable and Dirty Dog, who had tactically decided to do the short just to win.

Everyone arrived in drips (quite literally) and drabs at the On Home of Fallen Woman and Broken Man. There was a log fire burning but no one could get near through the wall of Harriets!

Due to the fact that most of the shorts had left to get back before the Longs had got there the Down Downs were awarded later that night before the Awards Speech: see below.

England Won! (Apparently Topshelf! it was also a knock on before the disallowed Wales try).

Down Downs
A slurring Goolie awarded the following down downs;
Boaty McBoatFacePinky and Re-Entry for hares and Mr Olive.
[Actually, were any more awarded? I was too busy shaking in my shoes, all nerve for my bit]
A big thank you and cheer was given to the hosts on theHash.

The Awards
After being corrected by the room for my opening grammar I finally got started on the Awards speech and for the record, and for any hasher who could not make the night I have adapted my notes cards below.

Special Thanks
We had a couple members of Committee standing down. To Thank them a memento and & our first T-Shirt was awarded to show our appreciation for their fine contribution to thehash.

The first, Barbie. For our Words Editor who really didn’t grips with 21st Century Computer Technology [he was awarded theLadybird book on the Computer and how it works].

The 2nd, Damp Patch for a Harriet who has helped out Goolie with the social side of the hash and is a big part of thehash, for as far as I can remember, and has gone un-thanked until now
[Awarded a T shirt as our Ho-Down Hero].

More Thanks
A huge thanks was given to Goolie for making this all this happen and gifted a bottle of doom bar and also something a little more stronger. And not to miss out his able assistants Marty and Rizzo were thanked with a bottle of fizz for among other things nagging us to cough up & place orders

Before More Awards 
The mismanagement committee were thanked for all their hard work behind the scenes. Unlike last year, in order to avoid any accusations of being biased and unfair and infighting it has been decided that no committee member can win an award this year.

Therefore, the following categories will not be awarded this year:

– Best Hash of the Year
– Best Scribe of the Year
– Best looking Hasher
– Worst looking hasher
– Worst Ski-ing accident by a hasher

Spoon of the Year would have been awarded, been decided that this will be a lifetime achievement award so can retained indefinitely on Wetspot‘s mantelpiece.

Some Highlights/Reflections (in no particular order)

– The great Xmas Slapton weekend. Great hash and I didn’t pass out this year…. unlike some-

– The ‘Ang On’ 1100th Skit hash in Dartmouth! Thank you to everyone involved, great acting and drinking which made a fitting night for Troughie

– The formidable foreshore run down Bow Creek by Boatyand Arso

– Fallen Woman and Broken Man’s fab Fish n chip Xmas night

– Hekkel for getting so drunk before her birthday hash! didn’t quite lay it right resulting in hashers running it both ways round

– The infamous Chip gate at the Pig’s nose. (one of you out there still owes £3)

– The great mid-summer weekend at Maker Heights organized but Nutcracker and Knownuts

Running Late’s gamble with the tide at Wonwell and getting it right

– And the very wet outings of IVF & Pugsley’s Salcombe, Mr Softy’s Stokenham and Jerks, DMW and Jelly Baby’sAveton Gifford hashes

– Hot Totty for ringing the bell at the end of the night at thePickwick Inn and the whole chain reaction that was set in motion

Now there has been some notable exclusions to the highlights which are deserving of extra special recognition. So without further ‘a do’ the following  awards were made;

1. Most Confusing hash of the Year
Cast your mind’s back to last January, the hares had us running circles in the woods every which way but On On, some got back early! Some did it the wrong way around, it was pretty Long too and then throw in some weird druid/chanting procession!

It’s Stumped in the Woods, Most Confusing hash of theYear was awarded to;
Lazy Git and Biggus Dickus   HASH 1065 SEA TROUT, STAVERTON

2. Hare-today-  Hare-tomorrow award 
Going through my notes, 2 hashers kept coming to the fore. Always willing to step in when, hash needed them the most:

Hare 1. He came to rescue at Landscove, when original Hare went AWOL

Hare 2- Really put herself out there and laid so many hashes that her husband was beginning to get suspicious.

The award for Most Laid Harriette given to Nutcracker. (7) claims 10.
1069, 1073, 1085, 1087, 1088, 1090, 1103

and Super Sub to Pugsley (5) who for once wasn’t here but on the way to South Africa!
1074, 1081, 1100, 1106, 1111

3.Most Hazardous Hash of the Year.
This could have won the wettest hash, longest hash and most alcoholic hash of the year. 3 beer stops! But it is the sheer danger of it which has given this award it’s name!!!!,
The hares didn’t check the tides- what-ever!!! If you did thelong you had to swim across a creek getting directions from a homeowner on where to get out. If you did the shorts you would have been run over by a shotgun bearing angry farmer…. whatever

The award went to the Perilous Pinks Marty, Rizzo and Frenchy for the Most Hazardous Hash of the Year, HASH 1102 MILLBROOK INN- SOUTH POOL.

4. Best Hash newcomer of the Year 
For a hasher who fully embraced the hash culture,and become a great addition to the club last year.
Now this Harriet after her 2nd or 3rd hash loved it so much that she came away for a whole weekend with us at Maker and bought the whole family! Very brave!
At the Slapton Weekend she gave Whisperer a run for his money on who could pass out the first.
Think it was a photo finish… don’t worry we have thephotos!! And even more commendably she came back to thehash after that weekend. I thought we would never see her again!!

The Rising Recruit. Best Hash newcomer of the Year was given to Rusty Bottom

5. The Snazzy Trainer Award 
There is one person I have failed to mention for his memorable and unforgettable contributions to the hash over the last year……….
Let me remind you of some his highlights if you already haven’t guessed.

1. He strived to make the hash visit all the Parishes in theSouth Hams which he finally achieved at Hash 1091-Dean Court Farm Shop.
2.  The same hash- excellent start to his hash running down motorway culverts and rivers, then ruined it by one long hill all on the road and missed getting to his own beer stop.
3. The Date 11/01/2017 In his RA-ing duties he finally told a great joke at Hash-1062 The Pack Horse South Brent with Punch line- Liqueur in the front and Poker at the rear.
4.  Hash 1097 Totnes Rugby Club 16.08.2017
– First ever disabled friendly hash- Thankfully there were no takers given what was to happen.
– No dots at start (though apparently not his fault- Co-hare)
– Awful weather
– Long 14 miles- Short 9 miles- no headtorches
– Car Shuttles by the Hare & Rubbery got us all back (I think)
He hasn’t laid a hash since, but I know he is biding his time!

This deserved more than just a T-Shirt award. This deserved The Snazzy Trainer Award and it was awarded to Squashed Balls.

END OF AWARDS- Please see Rubbery’s photos for aftermath!!!

Hash 1127 Hair of the Dog
We all gathered at 10:30am all seemingly un-hungover. There were not many takers for Rubbery‘s after party party apparently! Most spritely was probably the Hare, Going Down who had proceeded to lay a 5.5 mile one and on hash over beach and through woods and the street’s of Paignton. Piddler was heard to exclaim ‘What is she on’ at the end of the hash.
There was Snow and Sun to add to the fun too!

Thanks again to everyone who made it such a memorable weekend and On On to another what is she on? hash at theChurch House Inn in Harberton. [no dogs- pre order food- park in Village hall]
On On Over……..shot