|Low t’Arse and I didn’t know whether to do the short, the medium or the long. The short would be too short, but the long might be too long, so maybe do the medium – though last week’s medium was longer than the long. Anyway, we don’t know what we did because we were chatting and it was dark. Yes, we got lost (again) but at least broke the habit of a lifetime (it turned out, later) by not being last back to the pub.
Last week’s mud, sludge and shiggy produced at least one new pair of trainers on Wednesday, with Barbie’s bright black ones being initiated by the Hare, Jelly Baby’s, flour pack. But she only managed to hit his left shoe, reminding me of that once popular ditty:
“One Black one,
One white one.
And one with a bit of shite on (there soon would be)
And one with a bright torch light on, to show us the way.”
There was some pussy from Plympton.
Sorry. Start again.
There was a posse from Plympton and they need really bright torch lights, as they constantly climbed over open gates and lost the flour trail – only to be saved by the sage-like, owl-eyed Lazy Git who must be on the carrot diet because he really can see in the dark!
Going Down went down! With a bang! As Rizzo and Nice Buns chatted merrily about what to do, she was revived by Sticky Bush (qualified, experienced medical doctor handily on call – isn’t the NHS wonderful? – always there when its needed) who got a down down that she couldn’t down and nominated Just Prick. He doesn’t even have basic level first aid and was nowhere near at the time, but he can down a down down.
The Hare (Jelly) also got a down down for laying a brilliant hash and for swimming to an Island to raise money – which we all paid her (apparently, she didn’t swim back, but air sea rescue came in handy). it was also Happy Wedding Anniversary to Jelly Baby and Windy Puff.
Barbie got his 200 T-shirt, and admitted he thought he was going to get it at the Pilchard when he spotted the RA with an extra-large blue in his hand. He downed a down down too.
Dead Man Walking had a birthday, he’s 21 but doesn’t look a day over 60.
There were some other down downs, but I can’t remember them all and Rear Entry’s notes must have got taken to the Co-op, mistaken for a shopping list. Sorry ‘bout that.