Wordz- Oddus Wheelus 08-05-19
Hares:-Traffic/Willy Waver and assisted on a virgin lay oooeeerr by “Harry”
All gathered in the compact pub car park. Overshot with a truly genuine excited grin on his face, called the hash to order. Great numbers again swelled by a few interlopers from nearby Plympton. Overshot had no history of the pub of village-pity he didn’t look on the front of the pub where all was explained on a big sign.
Sweaty bit-The hash set off a pace chittering away as always not really looking at those funny lumps of flour and guess what! Yep everyone went the wrong way. Most turned round and returned to the pub to pick up the trail. Yeuk however had a cunning plan, more cunning than the tail of a cunning fox, to shortcut and pick up the trail-wrong ! she and some other SCB sheep only succeeded to adding a mile and a half to the trail.
Across footpaths across farmer`s fields we went, heading to the Yealm. One of the fitty longs was however spied checking his watch to check on his minute miles-me thinks he hasn’t quite got the true hash culture yet. Virgin Julie tumbled and rolly pollied down the hill Bee Giacomo Flicker who is never far from the hashettes was worried and went to her aid to give the kiss of life but had never seen it try to be done that way in any manuals.
Action man Gaffer was caught shortcutting a field but later in judgement was felled by a low hanging branch, well more of a twig really, obviously running too fast to notice it. He also rumoured he was leading the longs at the beer stop but couldn’t resist an extra bit of cross training by swimming across the Yealm and back 10 times.
Down and down we went to what most said was the most picturesque of Beer Stops on the Yealm- Goolie did state that technically it was a Cider Stop. What goes down must come up the hill weighed down by sausage rolls and Cider it was a sedate pace for most back to the pub.
What’s the term “It`s not a race” but the usual afletes came sprinting back into the village.
The pub was warm and welcoming, even the locals in there trying to watch the footie. Hashit time was delayed until full time after Spurs proved we are better than any Europeans hahaha-just like Liverpool the night before.
Goolie apparently had a new Tom Tom which he obviously hadn’t got the hang of as he was Late Late back. So to save time he pinched my notes.
There was a breakaway group sitting in the pub porch presumably to get away from the footie.
Various tales of hash were reported/exchanged, some of them may have even been true.
Rubbery nominated himself for best dressed hasher but was mentioned he was not keen about adopting the Plympton kissing at kissing gate custom, well not the men anyway ! Conversely Dimwit you could see was still excited by his team Liverpool winning the night before was snogging anything that moved, some of it human too. Hekkle and Jyde were late picking up Lowtarse and twisted sister, so Lowtarse decided best went looking for them and broke in their house in the desperate search-sign of a misspent ? youth. Bell end was heard telling his tales of shooting pigeons and eating them raw. Ging Gang also mistook GHR for Pony-twins separated at birth?
Boatie on his stag night was amazed at what That’s Crap had down there, in his bum bag we hope and hope it was only his 2 gallon hip flask. Lazy Gits car received a bit of a dent by Shirtlifter, much to his annoyance. Shirtlifter was heard to say he wished it was Boatie`s car as he wouldn’t have given a dock-well I thought it was dock that he said. She`s Ready got a bit hot on the Hash and decided to take a layer off but took too many off and flashed in the St. Werburgh Church graveyard setting off the Bells-literally. Bee Flicker asked No Principles how the little one was as he thought she had just had a baby !! Consensus was he needs to come more.
Down downs were downed by the hares, She`s Ready, Rusty Bottom and Shirtlifter
The evening closed to an On on to 1199 at Bigbury.