When I stand down as GM I expect that 6 months of good weather will follow but unfortunately it looks like my tenure will finish as a soggy one! This hash was very soggy and despite no buses running that night, the bus stop was packed with Harriers and Harriets, Virgins and WattsEon looking for relief.
Ok, hands up, I made a mistake, getting too cruel and forceful in my selection of a scribe for the night. I picked WattsEon, who hasn’t been for a while. The last time he came his daughter was 3ft shorter, The B word hadn’t been invented and I had no grey hair. (one of those isn’t true- a punch from me for the first with the correct answer!). I had thought the proposed scribe would have been ok having hashed almost, very nearly 100 times. I was wrong, feeling sorry I was going to offer to write the words on his behalf in an interview style, but he didn’t come to the pub…… or respond to my facebook message or email……. or phone call or knock at the door at home and at work.
So I will have to scribe myself! Could have gone something like this;
Q. What did you think of the hash?
A. It was the wrong way round. All the Longs were going the wrong way!
The truth: right at the start Tired Bunny led the shorts back on the Longs, according to Rizzo, Nice Buns and Rusty Bottom
Q. Who was the best Hasher on the night?
A. No doubt, Overshot, First to run the Long and find the correct short route!
The facts: Willi Waiver was the only one to do the short right! When quizzed about whether there were any marks over the cliff footpaths (something we are trying to avoid in winter TB!) on the new short route, the answer was yes until the cross, which they all ran through!
ReEntry & Shirtlifter cut short the hash as ReEntry needed to go and play with Goolie’s Rocket. (So he say but I know he couldn’t find the trail either!)
Gaffer and Blown Off ran back down the Longs again to join the new short route over the cliffs and no one knew quite what Bee Flicker did!
Q. Have you noticed any Harrier go down-hill since you last came?
A. Well not really, but I did see Piddler going up-hill in a car at the end after the fireworks. Worst of all he got out for the last 10 yards to try and claim he had run all the hill!
Q. Were the sausages any good in the pub?
A. I don’t know as the stopped serving by the time I got back but Dimwit was enjoying his!
The facts: Dimwit along with Boaty and Blue Nun cut short the hash, missing the fireworks to get back to the pub early! Shame!!! Blue Nun did run up the hill, the other two didn’t!! (Strava doesn’t lie!)
Q. Were you impressed with any Harriets on the hash?
A. Not really, there was one Rizzo, who really smelled!
The truth: Rizzo has just moved house and has had no shower for 3 weeks but now has one installed and claimed she was looking forward to using it tonight. I though understand she goes to bed dirty!!
The truth: Everyone was impressed with Olive’s pink mac and Ging Gang’s spider on her head! Keeping feeling Fascination darling, She is in a Human League of her own!
Q. What did you think of the fireworks display, Mulled wine stop?
A. The fireworks were great, thanks Goolie, the best ones were the ones lit from the box thrown onto the bonfire at the end. Almost took out Goolie’s shed which seems to be getting larger every year! Also Miss Mouthfull’s ability to turn cider into apple juice for the kids was amazing.
The truth: Gaffer wasn’t impressed by the Bonfire and Barberella arrived just in time to see the last firework.
Q. Where did you change after the hash?
A. The bus stop of course, it was the place to be!
The truth: This was incredibly too common for PissBag who got her own private room in the pub instead.
Q. When a harrier falls in the woods is there a sound?
A. Overshot apparently did but turned into a soft long slide so no sound this time!
Q. Why did you leave early?
A. The virgins that my daughter brought (who was a virgin too) had to get back to New Zealand.
The facts: Talking about tough journey’s home; Sex Wax got home around 12:30 am last week as a flood had closed the road, she changed back into her wet hash gear! Unfortunately I think she may have had to do the same tonight as a bank had collapsed across the same road!
Q. Has our birthday singing got better?
A. Oh yes it was nice to sing and celebrate Nice Buns and Piddler’s Birthdays
The truth: we cleared the pub of the knitting circle and locals, and a new born baby! Running Late was seen earlier trying to join the circle!
Q. Thank you for your time! Will you come again?
A. I hope so! I must be really close to getting a T Shirt!!
Q. One final thing who would you award down downs to?
A. Goolie- For being the Hare
Lowtarse- For being a Hare Sweeper without a brush!
Piddler- For his uphill stunt! (and his birthday)
Nice Buns- for her Birthday (who nominated Rizzo)
PissBag- for being a private changer
SexWax- for her epic journey home. (who nominated Filth)
Q. Ooh sorry where are we next week?
A. On on to the AGPU at Wrangaton Golf Club