Hash 1470 – YEALMPTON:

It started out as such a pleasant evening!

We arrived nice and early as we were being chauffeured by Barbie, known to the locals as a ‘Strange Man’ [Ed. Please see associated editorial note, below]! We circled up on a steep incline in the centre of Yealmpton: Rizzo pipes up, waffles on about stuff, and gives her most grateful thanks for all involved with Fallen Woman’s Memorial Hash at the weekend. Then follows JOKE OF THE WEEK: “What is the difference between Wet Spot and a broken clock?” (Big pause) “Even a broken clock is right twice a day” 🤣  The roar of laughter was deafening, but I was still able to hear another one of Who Gives A Shit’s ribs break. Unfortunately, Wet Spot was absent, so please, if anyone is to see him, do kindly inform him of what he missed [Ed. I can just imagine with what grace and good-humour such news will be met].

Then it came to asking for volunteers for the words: thankfully, Re-Entry spotted how I was struggling to raise my arm and assisted in volunteering me (sooooooo much appreciated). [Ed. I am getting just the very faintest whiff of insincerity here, Boaty…]

Then, before we know it, we’re off: galloping around the streets; up; down; around and around – and then off we shoot, into the wilderness, running through some spectacular fields with astonishing views of the South Hams. The Strange Man appeared in various locations, making sure all hashers were safe and that the electricity supply was okay! [Ed. for those that missed the screenshot on the SH4 Facebook group (it’s shared again, for your continued enjoyment, in the hash 1470 photo album), a concerned citizen had clocked the hare “spreading white powder”, raised the alarm on the Yealmpton ‘socials’, and also gone to the trouble of contacting the “electricity people” in her pursuit of an explanation. Delicious.]

I was lucky enough to be in the company of Pugsley and Can’t Come throughout most of the hash – well, that was until the final mile when Pugsley sprinted ahead and left us for dust. I’m not sure what we had said to upset him (?), but I think it might have been that he heard there was only one barmaid serving at the pub…

Apparently, in one of the fields were some frisky cows that took a liking to Silly Shunt. Luckily, Fluffy Dice came to the rescue, warding them off with his stick [Ed. another Hash Hero!]!

Cowpat and Vindaloo were aiming for a good 4-miler but ended up doing six [miles], due to the Lost Causes not kicking out the checks.

Sex wax’s son-in-law [Ed. “Unlawful” – Boaty], beat Re-Entry (good 🤣) – I’m sure there will be some excuse! WGAS took another nasty tumble and was knocked out cold: the girly FRBs ran past sniggering, but once he regained consciousness he overtook Nice Tackle (what a man). George got caught running out of a portaloo!

At the pub, the queue for the bar was getting longer and longer, until it became just a big circle round the room: I was thankful that I had also beaten Re-Entry back to the pub, so was able to get served promptly. Winnie was so fed up of waiting she just helped herself [Ed….and everyone else, by pulling pints behind the bar alongside the hasher-beset barmaid: Hash Heroine!]: wow, that girl can drink!

Once everybody had finally been served, we all got comfy for Olive’s turn to waffle x10. I jokingly asked Flage to take notes for the words, which she did [Ed. If you don’t ask…]: I turned round about halfway through and she was there, typing away – thankfully in shorthand!

Olive commenced by making the observation that a lot of hashers were reaching the grand age of 50 – that is, Overshot, Ching Chong, and yet again poor old Wet Spot, i.e. being reminded his [50th] was a long time ago. It was actually Little Chef’s birthday today, which she shares with the world-famous ‘Angela Jolly’… [Ed. which, I think it’s fair to say, got a substantially bigger laugh than Joke of the Week: sorry, Rizzo!]

After a deafening rendition of the birthday song, with the backing vocals [Ed. I am not sure if ‘backing’ is quite the right word here…] of Overshot, she continued on, raising a glass for Fallen Woman and offering a special thank you to Filth and others for a super-memorable day – adding that they had so far raised £420 [for the suicide support charity, Pete’s Dragons], and inviting folk to please, still, dig deep if you haven’t already.

And then she went off on a complete tangent about Dimmers’ sausage party and all the different sizes of sausages known to man [Ed. 👀].

There were, though, also congratulations to Barbarella for completing the half-marathon, which she did a couple of weeks ago, as well as further applause for the Plymouth 10k Race for Life, which she ran with Bedbug at the weekend and which they both completed in under an hour – even though Barbarella went the wrong way on a fully-marked run… 🤦‍♂️ [Ed. Well, if she’s to retain her title as one of the three Lost Causes, she’s got to put the work in…]

Apparently, WGAS has been getting so bored at home he decided to welcome the Jehovah’s Witnesses, with open arms, to keep him company [Ed. I bet that threw them off-script, a bit!].

We raised our glasses to commemorate D-Day – and to Gaffer, who was there on the day itself.

Down Downs went to

• Hares: Lady Godiva, Nokkers, Barbie (Strange Man)

• Little Chef – 21st birthday

• WGAS – religious conversion/conversation

• Sex Wax’s Son-in-Law/Unlawful – SH4 virgin; beating Re-Entry (It’s not a race, etc. etc…unless it’s vs. Re-Entry)

(Ed. I feel as though there was a definitely another Down Down awarded, but a week is such a long time and my usual tactic of scouring the photographic evidence has turned up no clues [plenty of footage of fading, beer-thirsty hashers at the bar, but very few with half-pints in hand 😆]…apologies to whomever might be missing from this line-up!)

On-On to BANTHAM

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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy highlights from the rather beautiful, electrically-sound, Yealmpton hash 1470 on 5 June 2024, and afterwards at The Volunteer, by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook Group  📸 🏃🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:

HASH 1471 – BANTHAM – 12 June, 2024

CIRCLE UP:

The Sloop

Bantham

Kingsbridge

Devon

TQ7 3AJ

What3Words: ///helped.minder.pacifist

ON DOWN:

See above.

Hares: Filth & Dulux

RA: Spotty Botty

For full details, please see the Hash 1471 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group.

📝 If you’re the lucky Scribe at BANTHAM tomorrow, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk by Sunday evening (16 June), ideally – TVM! 📝

Add your photos of how the evening went down (Weds 12 June, 2024) to the Hash 1471 photo album, when it has been conjured into being.

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HASH DIARY – Upcoming Events

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👣

😎👣⛺🍻🌅 JUST 10 DAYS TO GO!!! 🌅🍻⛺👣😎

👣

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RAMBO SALCOMBE MARATHON 2024

Saturday 21st September, 2024

👣

 🌟 🌟 🌟 Register here: https://bit.ly/RamboSM2024 🌟 🌟 🌟

OR scan the QR code, below:

👣

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SH4 MercHASHdise

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See Rizzo at the next meet for yours 👣

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SH4 Mismanagement Committee

Grand Master (GM) – Rizzo

Hare Razers (Organises the hash Trail calendar) – Nutcracker & Twisted Sister

Hash Web Master (Tries to keep the website organised) – Whisperer

‘On Sec (Keeps records of Hash Counts and Meetings) – Rusty Bottom & Ching Chong

Hash Cash (Extorts membership money from Hashers) – Winnie the Poo

Hash Haberdashery (SH4 Running Gear) – Jyde

Hash Words Editor (Co-ordinates collection and distribution of The Words) – Shaggy

Hash Flash (Takes photos of Hashers on the Hash) – Rubbery & Spotty Botty (Roving reporter)

Social Secs (Attempt celebrations in a brewery) – Goolie & Filth

Hash Haz (Keeps an eye on risks for Hashers) – Olive

RAs (Stand up in Pub after Hash and tell lies to the throng) – By rotation.

Hash Scribes (Write their account of the Hash in The words) – All Hashers in (roughly) alphabetical order., please submit by end of weekend.

Full list of the Mis-management Committee