HEREWITH THE WORDS FOR HASH 1021, Dittisham according to Traffic Jam….
Gary Glitter & Traffic Jam were having a senior moment when they set off for the Hash tonight .. they were heading for Strete!! (All the more embarrassing as the Run List was firmly tucked under TJs arm). Luckily, a spring chicken in the form of The Jerk put them straight, and Gary Glitter’s satnav then went into overdrive to get the merry trio to Dittisham on time.
Clear skies and a chill in the air brought the promise of fab fab views across the estuary. Visiting Hashers .. Miss Directions & Bobby Long Hare from Washington DC were introduced, along with Gobby Ball and a guest appearance from the much revered founder member, Ollie, Stung Down Under said very little about the trail, except that the Strava measurement for the Short was 4.8 miles! What!!?? 4.8 miles!!!
She had to be joking! Strava wasn’t ☹
Actually, it was a gorgeous trail .. lots of checks, incredible views, and the Longs were treated to a sweet run down to the waters edge and back up again .. that’ll teach them! The locals were accused of coming out with their dustpans and sweeping away the Walkers trail .. but they were soon cheered up by the appearance of a bag of sweeties to share. We found an SS in the woods, and suspected that we’d come across a Super Short .. but no, it was the Sweetie Stop. The Jerk commented that it’s not often that people are glad to see Troughie in the woods with a bag of sweets! Someone squealed on DimWitt and Whisperer, the Lycra-clad lovelies, who were both reluctant to do the checking and were seen playing a weird form of Rock, Paper, Scissors .. where no-one explained the rules to Whisperer.
Rizzo (AKA Annabel) in an attempt to save herself from getting muddy running shoes, swung like a monkey from a tree, broke the branch, and landed fair and square in the mud .. ha ha! The theme for the evening was, of course, George & the Drag Queen, in honour of the upcoming St Georges Day, so it wasn’t surprising that Barbie turned into our very own knight in shining armour, producing a torch as we were still out in the dark, on the Shorts, at 9pm! (just slightly ironic, then, that Barbie had plugged in Barbarella’s torch all day long, but hadn’t switched on the electricity socket. But even that doesn’t explain how Barbarella and Low’t’arse managed to get lost – Ed)
What an interesting experience the Red Lion proved to be. If anyone asked for Tribute, the barmaid disappeared off in the direction of the shop and returned with a tray full of pints, one of which was tipped down the front of Ivy’strousers. Random customers seemed to be roped in for pulling pints .. it was all rather haphazard. (Is this one of those Community Pubs? Yes – it’s a Care in the Community Pub! – Ed) RA, The Jerk, was chuffed to discover that we had a horny-thologist in our midst .. Squashed Balls, who apparently knows his tits from his choughs!
Stung Down Under and her new beau were dressed magnificently as Drag Queens, and Filth & Gary Glitter as St George & the Dragon .. prizes were awarded.
Down Downs were given to the Hares, Stung Down Under & Cowpat. To Miss Directions & Bobby Long Hare .. ooh .. I’ve forgotten who else .. another senior moment! Whisperer for cheating and paper, scissors & stone. And finally birthday wishes were sung for Troughie & (Her Majesty – Ed) the Queen (God bless ‘er – Ed).
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