Hash 1122


7:30 pm - 11:00 pm


Wrangaton Golf Club
Golf Links Road, Wrangaton, Devon, TQ10 9HJ
Hares: Bell End & Hot Totty
What 3 Words: trouser.breached.standard

Event Type

Run 1122   Wrangaton Golf Club. Hares  Bell End, Hot Totty and Sticky Bush

After last week’s balmy weather arranged by MORTICIA and GOMEZ we were back to the usual winter rubbish, cold, wet and windy! Still, over 40 hardy hashers braved the elements to support the hares on their virgin lay.

I parked as close to the clubhouse as possible under strict instructions from MORTICIA and PUGSLEY. I had, allegedly, parked “a half a mile away” last time we were there. Only the disabled bays were closer and in to one of those swept THE JERK in his sports car. Apparently being disabled isn’t always physically obvious.

OVERSHOT called us to order, a virgin was introduced, a swimming instructor from Kingsbridge that TRAFFIC JAM , just back from terrorising Canada, had coerced into attending. Still, being able to swim well was useful in that weather! He seemed so enthusiastic, water on the brain perhaps?

Anyway after some blurb by the hares we were off. Within a couple of hundred yards or so we started to climb uphill. This was extremely punishing as the hill never seemed to end and the wind got stronger and colder so it was not surprising that a lot of folk peeled off to the left onto the walkers route. The driving rain had obviously got into GING GANGs brain and she forgot that she had agreed to stay with GOOLIE. Hence she was well ahead on the long/short whist GOOLIE turned off.

There was a lot of sodden bog. After that understatement it is easy to report that many hashers descended into it in various ungraceful ways. Three to my knowledge ended up waist deep – JYDE, BARBIE and NUTCRACKER. SQUASHED BALLS dived into gorse bush though for what reason he didn’t make clear. Apparently RUBBBERY also went over landing on his backside. This was due to his not paying attention whist changing the batteries in his torch for the first time in 5 years.

There was a cracking ‘Baileys’ stop manned by BELL END. The walkers arrived there so quickly that he hardly had time to set up shop which amazed him but not so much as HOT TOTTY who was resetting the last bit of trail and found herself harassed  by walkers who thought she was leading them home. ”I couldn’t get away from them” she exclaimed.  Last to get to the stop, just as BELL END had packed away to go, was VINDALOO and COWPAT. They had got lost again and probably need to be microchipped. BARBARELLA was no better. She had bought a compass along but it was still no help and the sweeping up by STICKY BUSH was labelled ‘clueless’.

Back at the on-down the hares proudly announced all had got back safely, ”we counted 43 out and 45 in”. Doesn’t inspire confidence does it? OVERSHOT pronounced himself The Winner, a claim hotly disputed by REAR ENTRY, JUST HORNY and DIMMERS.  AH SO was caught in the Ladies drying her backside with a hair dryer, meanwhile in the Gents BARBIE was flapping about for all to see. BARBARELLA was again no better as she had lost her underwear and had gone commando.I saw TWIN BUFFERS wringing out the pull cords of her hoodie. She had bent over her drink not realising that the cords were dangling in it.

REAR ENTRY was guest R.A and managed to get our attention, he awarded a 500 run T shirt to HEKKEL and we sang Happy Birthday (or something very vaguely similar) to MARTY, THE JERK and ,of course, COWPAT.

Down Downs were given to:

  • The Hares – BELL END and HOT TOTTY for a good virgin lay, very well marked
  • The virgin MALCOLM for insane enthusiasm
  • BARBARELLA for going commando. She tried to nominate but BARBIE did the dirty on her stating she wasn’t driving and had no reason to refuse. Wait ’til she got him home….
  • COWPAT for being a youthful birthday girl.
  • THE JERK for being old and disabled.

The Club was thanked and it was On On to California Cross.
On On