The words according to Hot Totty…It was a cold and frosty night and there was a thick layer of ice on my Skoda from an earlier hail storm (that’s as cool as that car can look). There were several wardrobe malfunctions from the start; myself with a very broken trainer hanging on by a ‘tread’, Pimples for having flappy trainers and Morticia for having no clean shoes for afters! B.E, Rubbery and Ah So came to my rescue; helping me fix it pre-run. Rubbery with some blue twine, ‘carefully’ tied up by B.E and Ah So with a hairband!
‘Shortly’ we were away after our weekly ‘engrossing’ geographical history lesson from our own GM Overshot. Hares Boaty Mc Boatface and Sticky Bush had ‘carefully’ laid a fantastic trail involving passing through a lot of MUD a lot of which smelt like COW POO. Boatygot over protective of his trail and accused hashers of SHORTCUTTING.
Piddler was described as a ‘charmer’ by Olive (which NO ONE believed) and the Jerk was no gent; queue jumping to go under the barbed wire. Piltdown Man went under FACE DOWN like a new take on limbo – a game for next pre-Christmas Hash Bash?
B.E was off his trolley again, nearly falling into the road whilst trying to jump out at Ah So and Pimples and squirting filthy water from his trainers into Pi’s mouth.Twisted Sister got sucked off in a bog and Rizzo andPugsley led the virgin ASTRAY and almost did the course twice.
There was a virgin RA in the shape of Ah So! Having been nominated by her fellow hashers and particularly poignant as it was her birthday she did us proud with a witty ‘Ode to the maturing Harriette’:
“Flage had her birthday and now I have too
In age we have reached around 42.
There are things I feel I must warn those harriettes,
That follow behind us but havent got here yet.
So listen up you Turks and Pink Ladies
And any girls here in the thirties late stages
The wrinkles and middle aged spread I can bear
But what in God’s name is going on with hair?
The places you want it – it starts to turn grey
Whilst thick black ones sprout out of every which way
Shave, wax or pluck, but they always grow back
At this rate I’ll be going for a back, sack and crack!
There’s a definite slackening in my pelvic floor
I wish I’d kept up with that mantra ‘Through the door…’
3 quickfire sneezes, then a fail in retention!
I’m, sure Sushi would also have appreciated this attention!
Arthritis sets in, and sometimes I seize
My hips are now grinding, there’s an ache in my knees
My eyes won’t accommodate, everything’s slower
My bingo wings flap and my boobs are much lower!
So take heed young Harriettes, listen to me speak
Please make the most of it, hash every week!
Enjoy all the shiggy, get down and dirty!
I’ve loved every minute (on and off) since before I was 30!
My mid-week oasis, my Wednesday night fun
As long as I’m able, I pledge I will run!
You’re awesome, your wonderful , all of you here!
Now lets get on with Down Downs, bring out the beer!
Down downs were awarded to the hares:
- Boaty and Sticky Bush
- Ah So for her 30th Birthday
- Hot Totty for her very broken trainer
- B.E for being a general nuisance, Pi as compensation for the mud squirting
- Pimples for ‘I’m not sure what’
- Morticia for forgetting her shoes altogether!