|Thank you Twisted Sister, thank you.
What do you think of tonight’s hash? And the answer came back – Rubbish!
Do you realise it took nearly a quarter of an hour for us to get going tonight? Overshot had verbal diarrhoea and couldn’t stop. (There are children here, Rod!) He did finally come up with the suggestion that there were a lot of eggs on the trail. Did anybody find any eggs? (Much discussion and noise here.) Many of the youngsters, apparently, ate all of them!
There were three, or possibly four, virgins, although one was found not to be a virgin as he had hashed before in Thailand.
Dimwit was dressed in running gear but he only hobbled around the walkers’ route because of his bad back! (But you turn up in running gear, Goolie!) He got his bad back because he, actually, remembered to lift up the toilet seat! (Many ribald comments inserted here…)
It is also noted that Dimwit, arriving back early, then proceeded to push his way up to the bar! However, Twin Buffers, turning sideways, decided that this would not be the case!
Some of the smaller elements of the hash caused a few problems. Crackerjack, especially, was noted for outrunning his father – then sitting cross-legged in the middle of a field and getting up by putting his hand straight into the middle of a cowpat!
Shouldn’t take the mickey out of your elders, young man!
Also, Overexposed couldn’t keep up with Batman!
It has come to my attention that a perfunctory and loquacious old hasher, who often gets very sweaty, needed to wipe his sweat off his forehead, earlier! What do you think he used? (Twin Buffers?!!) No, the curtains! (Lots of guffawing of disbelief.)
Unfortunately, two runners in the Primrose Run at the weekend didn’t remember to each bring a cake – they thought that winning was everything and others could bring the cakes for them! Namely, Blue Nun and Olive.
Yet another dog-walker appeared this evening, in the shapely form of Rizzo. The little tike was dragged along so fast that she actually ended up amongst the frontrunners!
Did you know that Yuck and Gaffer have been celebrating a wedding anniversary tonight? (It’s this or nothing, Darling!)
It is a well-known fact that fish-hooks can be ignored! Especially if you’re old, female and named Lowtarse or Cowpat! However, beware if you do do this, because you may be the first to subsequent checks! It’s no use complaining if you, then, have to kick them out!
(Birthday song for Olive!)
Down-downs for Crackerjack, Batman, the Hares, Olive, Yuck, Squashed-Balls and non-virgin Fox.
(Down down down down down down down down down down down down…)
On-on to CP at 801676 nr Broadhempston.