So I arrived almost late, but was sadly disappointed to see that the ploy hadn’t got me off the hook re writing the words, unlike last week’s sneaky move of missing the Hash completely and landing Twisted Sister in the chair. The ploy not having worked I got out my trusty quill & parchment (it saw me through school you know) and started scribbling.
Overshot started with drawing the parallel between Boatty and …….. Shania Twain. I can’t remember the link, but apparently, they “both feel like a woman”. There being no virgins, Overshot was about to ask for the hares bollocks (loads of) when Jyde chirped up with a notice about an SH4 kayaking/SUP outing and BBQ starting from Kingsbridge: “Details from me at the pub” which as the on-down was at his & Hekkel’s house was clearly an attempt to reduce the numbers and therefore damage ‘chez nous’! Having almost missed the opportunity Nice Buns chipped in with the usual reminder about the Pre and Post-Xmas parties [the gals are doing great stuff so please help them to help you by getting your bookings/money in asap so they know what they’re dealing with].
Over to the hares Running Late & Shirt Lifter: 5 miles for the long, 3.5 miles for the shorts, and 2.5 miles for the walkers, although some confusion was then added about flat short cuts/not flat cuts whereupon it all got terribly confusing.
The run started with the longs and the walkers going down the hill to the main road, with the shorts up. It was all going very quietly until, well in fact continuing to be so, when Nice Buns and Rizo overtook in stealth mode. Not a word between them, even a whisper for at least 100m! Is there a problem or was the hill just too much for them?!?
Not strictly related to the hash, but I’m sure all will be welcome to a very special party that Broken man is throwing on 19 September. Not sure if he’s aware of it, or in fact will e aware of it, but I’m sure the staff on the men’s surgical ward in Torbay Hospital will be as we all turn up to wish him a speedy recovery from a knee op!
The lycra boys were particularly competitive this with Overshot calling back Whisper who seemed to think he’d ‘won the hash’ where in fact it was clear to all that Muck Spreader had.
There seems to be a bit of a problem developing with two recent recruits who just don’t understand what hashing is partly about. They were seen holding hands through woods, and then went to pub presumably for some secret tryst. All well and good until you realize that they, Fluffy Dice & Good Shag, are partners already. Please can we stop this deplorable habit of PDAs between couples.
The evening was clearly going down the pan, when Py decided chasing a bull was more fun than hashing, and tore a hamstring in the process. Mike, Rizos husband, a suitably gallant chap, touniqued (sorry that’s beyond spell checker, but I guess you’ll know what I mean) the hamstring with a torch strap, and was named Strap On rather than Frisky Bullock.
Back at the cars, and Piss Bag who’d put her car key on top of the wheel of her black Fiesta was found scrabbling around the wheel arch of a silver Range Rover. An easy mistake to make as I’m sure hashers anywhere would agree, but I not sure the ‘beak’ will agree when her case comes up. Again, we wish you well, and you may get the cost of the fine back from whoever did your laser surgery because it clearly didn’t work.
The On-Down was at Hekkel & Jydes’. Hashers were greeted by Shirt Lifter serving cocktails. Thinks were looking up until…..Dimmers was upsetting people again. The story as related to me was that the Veggies in the group took exception to him ‘putting his meat on their grill’ (not sure the meat eaters would have been too happy either, but perhaps I’m just getting the wrong end of a different stick?!?).
Goolie then called the hash to order for the Down-Downs… and then started singing. It was as confusing as ever until he got to the punch line of the song “when I’m 64” and announced it was Pinky’s 64th birthday tomorrow. Over Exposed was also on the birthday role-call.
We then moved on to a naming:
Youngster Beau had been worried because his cousin Mowgli got lost on his first hash. He should have been a lot more worried that that would lead to comments about laying a trail of sweets(?) like Hansel & Gretel, and consequently being named Handsel – could have been worse.
Strap On for helping Pye.
Other recipients were:
Hekkel & Jyde for providing a fabulous venue, and particularly for the hostess warming Squash Balls ‘sausage’, but I’m not sure why it had been in the freezer anyway – each to their own.
Sticky Bush for a 100 runs – well done, but many were surprised it was only a hundred, and for doing 7.5 miles with Running late on a 5 mile hash.
Running Late for being a hare, but also for responding to Sticky’s comment by declaring that he “does it exactly” – not sure what – answers on a postcard….
Shirt Lifter for co-haring.
Pocahontas for moaning.
On-on to the Modbury Inn, Modbury.