On down at hare’s house
The words according Hekkel
“Who hasn’t done the Words in 2022?” called Grand Mattress Rizzo at a dark and wet circle up to which I nearly pulled a sickie even at the prospect of simply sitting in the car with a jug of wine with Twisted Sister and Nutcracker. Unbidden, up shot my arm without consulting with me; ye gods, my body continues to mess with me in ways you can’t imagine; now it’s decided it can write Words based on no information about the run whatsoever.. Thank goodness then, for Rear Entry’s teeny tiny RA notes; here’s hoping I can make some sense of them, although goodness knows no-one could at the down downs…
Rizzo is turning into quite the joker! I can’t remember the precise joke, but I do remember it was actually funny. Unlike some other jokers in the pack, no Balls mentioned; he just causes everyone to groan in pain when he recites his. Later on, RA Rear Entry declared that she had said ‘No’ to something, but he left out the bit about what she said No to. She’s a mother; the standard answer to everything when you’re a mother is ‘No’…
Hare Goolie gave his usual made up number for his mileage, adamant that his fireworks would go ahead regardless of the naysayers and killjoys (guilty as charged m’lud) who had the temerity to suggest that it was too late now and to save them for next year. ‘Not on your life’ he was heard to mutter grumpily, and so they went ahead. You don’t cross Goolie and expect to get away with it, and I gather the good folks of Plymouth really enjoyed them.
There was the usual shenanigans and whatnot on the run although thankfully I wasn’t witness to them; my sensitivities would have been well and truly flustered at the sight of Muck Spreader having a wee, and then, I think if I’m reading RE’s writing correctly, setting it on fire – really? That must have taken some doing… Dimmers apparently led everyone astray – good strategy when you are reluctant to concede that your FRB days are turning into evenings Dimmers. Time to focus on that emerging cake icing and decorating career, it’s looking really promising. Various others took their turn at the mandatory Getting Lost and Falling Over – well it wouldn’t be a hash without reports of those, whether they’re true or not.. Names named were Shaggy and Triple Top, no doubt there were others too.
Speaking of naming names, Bedpost – and No, I won’t and never will, use his full name, and so it seems neither will he, good lad… Maybe that was what Rizzo was saying No to as well…? What was I saying? Oh yes, Bedpost was called forth and accused of attempting to manipulate his given name. I should say applauded for, rather than accused, however it is true that in the No-rules of hashing, Rule 654 of Article 6543, sub-section 65432 states if a hasher attempts to retitle themselves they must stand before the assembly and take the risk of a renaming. Bedpost would have been fine, but he got Spunky, which is just about ok I suppose. No tittering at the back though, otherwise I’ll set school ma’am Spotty Botty on to you.
Self-declared Adonis Gaffer (ummm, you do know that according to Wiki he met a sticky end courtesy of the horns of a wild boar don’t you Gaffer, are you sure you still want to be associated with him?) stripped off to receive his 200 runs t-shirt – not bad for a Plympton hasher when, as one of the longest-serving members of SH4 Pugsley can only stump up 400 – oooh, don’t get him started…
Our lovely Vindaloo was serenaded in customary hash style, much to the chagrin of the non-hashing diners in the pub. I thought they took it quite well considering the decibel level although I noticed they didn’t at any point feel moved to join in. What? Don’t they know the words?
Down downs went to: Hare Goolie (He Who Shall Not Be Told), and co-hare Low-t-Arse, (she-who-has-been-known-to-get-lost-on-her-own-trail), Gaffer (He of Bronze-but-horribly -dead Adonis fame), Dimmer (he-of-cake-decorating-stardom, no-pressure-at-all), newly renamed Spunky and Jyde (re-elected as Hash Hanger-On even though he has no clue what goes on at mis-management committee meetings, he’s just there for the social and chit-chat)
On-on to the Mussell Inn at Down Thomas, ooh, haven’t been there for a-a-a-a-ges…
Hekkel