The words according Half Hard But Playful
What an eventful hash! At least it was for me. Very sorry for the tardiness of the words, but better late than never – that would be a good hash name!
We all pulled up at the Church House Inn in Stokenham on a chilly evening last Wednesday with plenty of room to park – always makes me happy!
Before we even began RIZZO ‘had a fall’ on her bathroom floor, but managed to gather up the pieces and make it to the start line. Apparently she lay there for a while. (Another good hash name).
RUSTY couldn’t see her watch and must get some longer arms in future, PUGSLEY too, and RIZZO’s arms are too short. But off we went into the darkness. I quickly found myself all alone running the short and perhaps that would have been for the best, as when I came to a check at the top of a hill, I saw a car waiting with lights on and steamy windows. Thinking it was one of the hares, I trotted over and banged on the window to ask for directions. ‘Long or Short?’ I said, bouncing from leg to leg to keep warm. Only then did I realise these were not hashers, but a lovely couple who clearly had no privacy at home and so were playing with their long and shorts in the car. You would have thought the steamy windows would have forewarned me but… On On.
This was not the last event.
A short while later, two ladies were heard screaming, presumably something to do with LAZY GIT.
WETSPOT, who has been robbed by a hairdresser, ran the short, though I didn’t see him as I found myself all alone, on a boarded-up farm, definitely NOT thinking about horror movies. Only to find myself a few moments later in some dark woods, on my own, with an owl, definitely once more NOT thinking about horror movies. BLOWN OFF heard the owl, and WINNIE saw something flying, so def not just my imagination.
YUCK did the walk, as did LAZY GIT and SQUASHED BALLS, which reminds me of a couple of things. Paignton Pixies are hermaphrodites, according to SQUASHED BALLS and there are no parrots in Mauritius. I’m still waiting for the punchline to both comments…
GAFFER is unable to talk and run – very jealous of RIZZO and Co, apparently. He ended up stuck between two pairs of ladies, yabbering on by all accounts and ruining the evening peace.
There was a spot of trickery mind reading from LIVEWIRE who said SNOT GOBBLER was running so fast he’s bound to get a stitch. Ten seconds later SNOT GOBBLER had a stitch. They both found this HILARIOUS back at the pub and even managed to briefly glance up from their phones.
OVERSHOT moaned from beginning to end. Does anyone know if he had flu? Did he mention it to anyone? Must ask.
SPOTTY BOTTY has been sacked from her new position for forgetting her equipment, while RUBBERY forgot where Stokenham was, so there are no pre-run photos.
BARARELLA got attacked by a triffid from that movie, you know the one, War of the Worlds. No, not that movie. What’s it called? Oh, yes. Day of the Triffids.
PUGSLEY managed to rack up an additional 0.7 miles, despite running with NICE BUNS.
Lots and lots of virgins and visitor who turned out not to be virgins, but didn’t want to get lost by his dad.
UNDERCOVERS son went so undercover they lost each other, a repeat of an event many moons ago when UNDERCOVERS left him outside a shop. Not related to the above, at all.
Back to the pub and downdowns went to OVERSHOT, RIZZO, FALLEN WOMAN (700 hashes!!!), WET SPOT, MORTICIA and GOMEZ.
On On.
PS. SH24.org (an easy typo) takes you to a very different page…