Fancy Dress, Christmas Theme
The 1383 words according to Jyde
I have no idea why anyone would think that Hekkel writes the words for me. Pure fantasy. And yes I was delighted to be nominated to do the words…
It was a cold and blustery night. Hashers stood all around listening to the prophet Rizzo. Yonder into the night they strode or in Re-entrys case, bounced into the dark forest and forbidding heathland. I think he should be called Tigger.
Apparently, everyone returned although in my case, being stuck in the thicket with Know Nuts and our esteemed hare Winnie the Pooh, it did not seem a certainty, particularly when Winnie announced that she was not quite sure of the way.
Early on in the proceedings Boaty, clearly on the scrounge for a down-down, was caught having a wee, by an innocent hasher following him saying, ‘I’m looking’ then realised it should have been ‘I’m checking.’ Either way Boaty’s privates have been discussed (and I quote Olive, having relieved her of her extensive notes) ‘at length’.
According to Olive, Boaty, really trying to steal the limelight again, is apparently a trustee of something. My notes do not conclude of what but there is I think a need for trustees and supporters of the British Toilet Association. See above for appropriate link…
In other news, the hares had fun turning a check into a phallic symbol and Rubbery tried to walk the same mileage as showed up on his scales.
Onto a new venture, Olive proceeded as RA to summarise the last 12 months. A brave and confusing diary which I will attempt to report ‘accurately’.
January. Rubbery hasn’t laid a hash yet. Moving on
February. George Michaels famous naming based on being near the toilet as the RA spotted him
March. Flour shortage due to pancake demand. Nice Buns multitasks by auditioning for Calendar Girls at Marlborough village hall and directing the hash. Something about Traffic and organisational skills.
April. The ‘keep on running’ thread, unanimously banned Who gives a shit from posting more than one joke a day but the committee would like to take a firmer stance than this and limit the damage to one a week. Rizzo came in for approbation for increasingly cringeworthy jokes presumably caught off Who Gives a shit on their car journey.
May. Rude names month. Olive assures us that the 3 musketeers are happy with their names, however (authors note) I do need to report that we have not seen them recently…
June. Wonderful summer BBQ at No Principles abode. Ketchup catastrophe caused by WGaS, cleaning bill still outstanding.
July. Fab weekend. Reportedly Dimmers/drunk/starting fight/collecting subs debacle so we can only be happy for Dimmers that he has passed the responsibility of debt collecting to Winnie. Goolie whinging about beer, now that’s unusual. Piddler grumbling…… Ging gang grumbling but brightened up when she bought a bed for the night in Fallen women’s van.
August. Was all about Spotty Botty, as RA, awarding herself a down down.
September. Squash balls get lost laying his own hash. We all know his reputation in that dept.
October. Big up to the fabulously energetic and helpful hasher Re Entry. Olive’s notes seem to indicate PTSD from #Dartmoor #wilderness #scary #Ginggang not able to vault across gates #dont follow Rearentry #Olive&Lowtarse&Barbarella (henceforth to be known as the Three Lost Causes) barely get home #shambles
November. The fireworks that weren’t. Renaming of Spunky which incidentally was Blue Nuns nickname, him having the name of CMahne. Santa Clause is cautioned. No Principles collects big black present.
December. was all about Overshot, complaining about man flu, a Dartmoor resident paying him off to shut him up and Olive’s bedtime stories making up for a lack of childhood comforting. Someone please ask him whether he is OK? And Rubbery has still not laid a hash
No I didn’t understand most of that either. And I was there for almost all of it.
Thanks go to the pub
On on to the next one
Jyde