Hash 1394


7:30 pm - 11:00 pm


Royal Oak
The Royal Oak, Malborough, TQ7 3RL
Hares: Filth & Ging Gang
What 3 Words: ///translate.reputable.awaited

Event Type

The words according to Cowpat

Cowpat’s turn for the words AGAIN so I can only describe what I saw and where I may have been.

At the circle up there was the welcome return of Tyred Bunny (many hugs all round) and Orrible brought along a friend with a handsome black Labrador.

Hares were Filth and Ging Gang – what could possibly go wrong?

I ran with Gomez and Morticia and Zoe the dog. There were very many stiles and only a couple were canine-friendly, so poor Gomez was manhandling the poor dog over these which greatly slowed us up.

One odd thing – there was a mark on another pesky stile which led into a vast field, but we could find no more flour. Eventually, we decided to follow the footpath sign out of the field, where after several hundred yards, we actually saw another blob. Reminiscent of the Squashed Balls brand of hash-laying!

Desperately trying to catch up with the rest of the hash, we bumped into Barbarella, Jyde and Lowtarse. They had been with Olive, but when Lowtarse’s torch gaveout, Olive kindly offered her own and said as she knew the area, and was the RA for the evening, she would be ok. True to her word, she appeared at the pub shortly after that! Wonder where she went?

Whilst I was chatting with these 3, The Addams family ran off, as is their wont. I hastened after them and found myself in a woodshed and tractor store, with no obvious way through. Fortunately, a gentleman came out of his kitchen and told me of the footpath a couple of hundred yards back. I made my apologies and turned back to direct Jyde & co to the route.

The chat was about whether to take the long trail or the short. Obviously, Barbarella & Lowtarse wanted to run the long, but we other two favoured the short. Filth had said take the first short and second long for a pretty hash. Well, the first choice had been between the walkers’ route and the L/S and the next was a choice of long or short. Decision made; we would go long. Guess what – another mark directing us into yet another massive field and no more marks. Reluctantly Barbarella, acknowledging it was getting late, thought the best thing to do would be follow the short. The rest of the hash was pretty standard, and there were even some very neat marks, which the unfortunate Jyde missed entirely and struck off alone in totally the wrong direction. It was only while the rest of us were holding open a farm gate waiting for him, that we realised he was missing. After a lot of calling “where are you” a light was spotted and he was coaxed back to the fold.

Mr Softy joined us towards the end and said he had been to Overbecks, Salcombe and South Sands, but probably not on trail.

At the pub the chilli and chips looked excellent and the sole barman did a splendid job doling out the beer.
Olive, as RA made some jokes worthy of ‘Who Gives a’ and comments about the dubious valentine gifts presented to Harriets.

Down downs were awarded to: Filth as Hare (Ging Gang does not do beer, darling)
Who Gives a Shit for worst valentine gift.
Overshot for “Perv of the night”
Jerk & Wetspot for being loud. and Twisted Sister who accepted a drink for Lowtarse’s birthday.