The words according to Squashed Balls

First of all congratulations to Spotty Botty and Shaggy for braving the elements and laying the hash on a day when there was a gale blowing and heavy downpours. I am always grateful for the efforts the hares put in for our enjoyment. The circle up revealed a virgin who came along with Jyde, can’t remember his name – other than that nothing much to report although the hares said the flour was likely to have turned into glue. The rain held off but it was very windy.

There were some incidents to report. Dimwit had no respect for age having pushed Lazy Git over. Poor Lazy Git had just broken into a walk as well. Dimwit also ran the last long the wrong way round. Experienced hasher Gaffer failed to bring a torch, a minor infraction.
Little Chef told a runner he was going the wrong way. The poor fellow was just a normal runner, nothing to do with the hash and there he was being reprimanded by an assertive Little Chef.

Apparently, I took the walkers the wrong way (does Rock hill exist) and furthermore was ‘volunteered’ to do these words. I didn’t know home this came about until I saw the photos on Facebook and there is an arrow above my head at the circle up. This is a most undemocratic way to assign this duty.

There were reports of short cutting, namely by that serial offender Rusty Bottom as she stuck close to a hedge.

Yeuk gave an RAC Man Gaffers Easter Egg. This RAC man mended their car when they were en route to a weekend away in the Lake District (Gunnislake?) thereby depriving Gaffer of his chocolate symbol representing the resurrection of Jesus.

Who Gives a Shit found himself surrounded by an oestrogen fuelled bevy of female hashers (you know who you are) who made innuendos making him feel uncomfortable. We men are not pieces of meat you know, we have feelings.

On the theme of Amazonian women, Flage and Rizzo, were boasting how they were FRB’s. Obviously a novelty to make such a song and dance about it. Such a revelation evoked fond memories for Genital Heat Rash (GHR) who stated he was a FRB once – a long time ago – not for very long.

All hashers arrived safely back at the Fishermans Rest where GHR was RA. I thought my jokes were bad but his were absolutely awful. I do not expect groans at my jokes ever again after his efforts.

Emma came up for naming and as she seems to come on hashes when the weather was awful she was called ‘Dirty Nights’. Welcome Dirty Nights to South Hams Hash House Harriers.

Down downs were awarded to me for leading walkers astray; Dirty Nights for her naming; Spotty Botty and Shaggy for laying the hash, Rusty Bottom for short cutting and Flage for over exuberance for being a FRB. How Dimwit missed out on a down down for his elder abuse and going the wrong way is a mystery to me.

It’s On On next week to the Ring ‘O’ Bells at West Alvington.