The words according to Gary G

Hash No. 1412 Wrangaton Golf Club. Hare – RE-ENTRY

I was debating whether to hash after RE-ENTRY’s talk of bringing a phone, could be very long as lighter later and we may get very wet and the fact that I was driving on my own. In the end I threw caution to the wind and decided it was better than staying in! So when I arrived and they were asking for volunteers for the words I threw caution to the wind again and stuck my hand up!!

Our GM RIZZO told us that she can’t take her dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him! Guess that’s what you get for buying a pure bred dog!! Groans all round! She welcomed the new virgin TOM who is a Triathlete. Think he’d swum the Channel and then cycled to the hash beforehand! Also welcomed back SOFTWOOD and STICKY BUSH. We also had a public health warning not to contact FILTH as she had been infected with a virus!

The hare RE-ENTRY hoped we had brought our phones and possibly a waterproof case as it might get wet!! This is what I was dreading but fortunately it was only on the long trail. That was decided then, I was definitely doing the short. Also he had amended the route slightly for the less nimble among us after BLOWN OFF had tried to eradicate a few of the older hashers the week before! He also said his wife had laid the short route but said that nobody would bother with it. Then we were finally off on a long or short trail. This confused RIZZO as she was seen going round in circles for five minutes before she ran off. Must have been the trauma of her dog being attacked!

Report of the shorts – Off we went with Zoe not only doing one but two dumps a few minutes into the run. (If only we could name dogs Two Dumps would be a good one). We ran along the edge of the golf course by the trees and then we turned right and went up and up and up and up for about four miles!! I was with YEUK and we could see DOGGY STYLE and TIGHT NUTS in front of us and then we saw them climb the Tor in the distance and disappear. Suddenly no one was in sight and we worried that somehow we were on the longs by mistake so we went back and forth a bit and then finally found the last divide! We were so ecstatic we had a group hug. Then we saw the flags of the golf course and noticed that there were more seagulls than golfers on it. There must have been a lot of birdies scored!

Report of the longs (I accept no liability for these words as I wasn’t on the longs and this is cobbled together from OVERSHOT’s scribble!) – Off they went at speed in their wet suits! BOATY accused WETSPOT of hiding behind a rock and joining the hash halfway round, OVERSHOT of short cutting and then barged him off the path. Shocking behaviour . HALFHARD struck up a beautiful relationship with SOFTWOOD and then thought it was too hard so went back to CROSSFIT. As did CINDERELLA.

Our GM set a bad example of not swimming, DIMMERS and PUGSLEY didn’t get their hair wet either but WHISPERER made up for it by taking his tee shirt off, swimming across to the other side and then ran around to put tee shirt back on and then got stuck in a loop until someone took his tee shirt to him on the other side! DIMWIT was getting upset that OVERSHOT was running and spooking the cows but he was the only one in red apart from FILTH’s knickers which were noticed when she fell over in front of SQUASH BALLS.

BARBARELLA took her phone and rang TWISTED SISTER to ask her to ring RE-ENTRY to tell him not to wait for her and LOTARSE which was just as well as they went wrong and ran in the opposite direction and met the longs at Ugborough Beacon. Plus side was that they weren’t the last back! SHAGGY ran back and kicked out two checks for OVERSHOT, not sure why! PUGSLEY reported that the longs were 7.1.

Downs Downs were awarded to:-
RE-ENTRY the hare
TOM the Virgin
CROSSFIT – nominated Cinderella
BOATY for false accusations
STICKY BUSH welcome back
LED ASTRAY
BARBARELLA for being a good mobile scout

On On to Avon Inn, Avonwick – Hare SQUASHED BALLS RA Spotty Botty

Thanks to everyone for a cracking Solstice Camping weekend!

Gary G