The words / lies according to Morticia

Hash No. 1421 – East Prawle – Hares – Rizzo, Nice Buns & Pimples

Stand In Words Editor – Rubbery until next AGPU – volunteers welcome…..
Well, I think I did quite well to avoid doing the words until August.
The threat of WGAS pointing the finger and the temptation of Olive being RA, and consequently providing an epistle for me to work from, the bait was taken.
The Hares decorated us liberally before the start with glitter. Bush Banter got the week wrong as he turned up in jeans. We then waited with baited breath for Rizzo to tell us this week’s joke. We waited some time, before with the help of Legs Eleven, she managed to give us the punchline. We never actually saw the pretty (Knuts), but you know who you are.

The run was not quite on a blue sky, warm Summer evening, but we were all very relieved that only the hares endured the gale force wind and rain during the earlier part of the day.
Anyone doing the coastal marathon had just a taster of the terrain to look forward to. Obviously it is going to be completely flat!
Just at the end of the trail was a great beer stop.
Rubbery, with many Harriets, were waiting with glitter shots and snacks. The Harriets assured me that they had not sampled all of the shots, but they all seemed VERY HAPPY so maybe they take after their mothers!
Snot Gobbler, when he finished the trail, went back to the beer stop for seconds. Seconds of what, I am not quite sure. If it was only for the shots then he definitely takes after his mum, Spotty Botty. Otherwise she will have to keep an eye on him!
Pizzas were enjoyed by many. Jyde was really lucky to even get his half of pizza. Pye had bought it to share with him. She valiantly tried to keep it hot while Jyde had been ‘delayed’ at the beer stop.
Don’t worry Hekkel, we are keeping tabs on him. Pye had many volunteers to eat his half!
Can’t Come never completed the run as he had pulled his groin. Any volunteers for giving a massage were advised to form an orderly queue.
Low Tarse and Ching Chong left poor Twisted Sister covering her ears as they talked about tales of Venice and Italians.
Wet Spot, in his usual confused state, called Doggy Style ‘ Dirty Dog’. She, in turn, called him Knob Head leading for calls for a renaming!
I am not sure what the connection is between National Ice Cream day and Olive’s Hash Oscar Awards, but maybe I had fallen asleep. Bit Of Rough was given the hardest trier award as he apparently gets the most wrong. Is this true Little Chef?
Guess who got the award for moaning the most? There were 2 candidates, surprise surprise, Piddler or Wet Spot. Piddler was pipped at the post. Maybe it was influenced by Wet Spot confessing to having a skin eating disorder all over his body!
Best costume award went to Filth who seems to have fancy dress for every possible theme. Not sure if she acquired the ‘Gary Glitter’ trousers when he went to prison.
Olive is still traumatised by the ‘Bridget Jones’ pants syndrome from 2 weeks ago.
Best ‘Sun Worshipper’ award went to Gaffer, who proudly lifted his T shirt for all to see. The English rain is rapidly washing it off!
Best virgin shag/lay went to Second Coming who had wisely asked Pugsley to help him.
An individual reverse ‘Cinderella’ award went to Rizzo for turning her old running slippers into sparkly new ones.
The final award went to Rear Entry who has still not learnt that hashing is NOT a race.
Whisperer was seen beating( not physically) him because he had sneakily checked out the route earlier.
The awards ceremony finally and eventually came to a close (hooray!).
A great Hash enjoyed by all, thank you Hares.

Down Downs were awarded to

Hares … Rizzo, Nice Buns and Pimples
Bit Of Rough
Wet Spot
Filth
Gaffer
Second Coming

On on to the Hash barbecue at Hekkel and Jyde’s