The Words According to LowTarse

Stand In Words Editor – Rubbery until next AGPU – volunteers welcome…..

It was a lovely night when the Hash gathered at Stoke Fleming for what turned out to be a memorable hash.
The hares, Lactaster, Dirty Nights and Squash Balls laid a great trail even though the weather had been against them, after a joke from Rizzo when she forgot the punch line the hash was off.
It was Gaffers birthday and he can now drew his pension, but reaching pensioner age also has its drawbacks. The Cinnamon Adonis was caught on the trail needing a wee, the thought was at his age maybe this was a prostrate problem possibly Jyde could take a look or could he be given a link to a web site that talked you through self examination via the rectum. Good luck Gaffer.
Nice Buns, having failed to keep up with Rizzo thought she would do the short to get back sooner to prepare for RAing (not that she was unfit). She could not see any lights on the long and those of Boaty, Dimwit and Flage were ahead of her. She had to stop and check the split again not believing the FRB’s were doing the short. Maybe this was because the three had had a secret date saying they were going to get a tread mill, possibly the experience on the said tread mill had exhausted them. Who knows?
On the other had Rubbery and Twisted Sister who had decided on a short walk due to the weather were seen in Rubbery’s truck drinking Prosecco, but at the time of looking Twister Sisters head was not visible…….
There were many falls on the hash due to the slippery terrain. Tristan fell over not once, not twice but thrice on one hill and had a lovely skid mark on his trousers. I fell over twice and was so covered in mud I looked like the monster from the great lagoon, no comments please. I think others fell over too but could not make out Nice Buns notes.
The other fall was Sex Wax who was running with myself and Olive. In fact she fell twice hurting her shoulder on both occasions. She looked shaken and obviously in pain. Despite our efforts with first aid on the spot we knew further action was needed. I stayed with Sex Wax while Olive ran on for help.
Olive found a row of cottages, knocked on the first door, no reply, knocked on the second, no reply then at the third a drunken lady answered the door. ‘Yes what do you want’ she asked swaying as she talked. Olive quickly told her story and could the lady give her friend a lift to the pub? The lady looked at her swaying away ‘Really you think I should drive ‘ she slurred. A desperate Olive blurted out’ well can I borrow your car then ‘ she asked optimistically’ In the end the compromise was the lady would ring the pub to ask for help to be sent. There then followed a disjointed discussion on weather the pub was called The Green Man or The Green Dragon. Olive was not hopeful!

By then myself and Sex Wax had arrived on the scene, Sex Wax cold and in pain.
Again Olive swings into action, virtually throwing herself in front of the car of a lovely German family. They were on holiday and could not have been nicer, happy to give Sex Wax a lift. The surprised family then hurled the 3 children out of the car ( they were to walk home) to make room for Sex Wax who managed to get into the car.

After Olive and I had despatched our friend off into the night with a complete stranger, we looked at each other can we finish the hash maybe, leaving Sex Wax to her fate. Not really the done thing but hey no rules in hashing! In the end we decided on a compromise and run back to the pub via the road to see if we could intercept any rescue car that might have been sent from the pub by the drunken lady. In fact we missed them so Filth and Missmouthful arrive at the cottages not knowing what was happening. They knock on the first door no reply ……..

Sex Wax arrived at the pub safely was seen by Doc Jyde and Nurse Rusty Bottom and taken to hospital by Filth. Where it was confirmed she had broken her shoulder. Get well soon Sex Wax.

At the down downs Rizzo got her 500 tee shirt
other Down Downs were given to
Jyde and Rusty for the medical skills
Gaffer for his birthday
Olive for her heroic efforts to get transport for Sex Wax
and Hares Lactaster +Dirty Nights.

Quite a night.
On On to Thurlestone for the AGPU
Low-T-Arse.