The Words according to WGAS
Hash 1443 – SALCOMBE
aka ‘Fancy Dress and Christmas Carols Hash’
The Words according to Who Gives A Shit (WGAS)
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It was the night before Christmas (4 nights) and a dedicated crowd of SH4 hashers met for what is now the traditional pre-Christmas hash, laid by Olive, Blue Nun and Di the mince pie (Ed. Unclear if this is an official Hashing title, but – if not – bestowed honorarily [& temporarily] in recognition of superlative festive pastries).
Fancy dress was encouraged, with Filth turned out as well as usual, dressing up as a snow-person, pronoun she, he, it, you, me, I, we, us, this, them, that, or the other. Overshot thought he would have a laugh and joined in by dressing up as an elite runner.
Rizzo called order and told the customary joke, which was so memorable I have forgotten it (no, it was not one of mine), and then passed over to the hares as no virgins or visitors present. ‘Brief’ best describes the instructions given by Blue Nun (or should it be Blue None?):
‘R’ is for run, or don’t…oh, and there are drinks stops – and a pie stop – with carols, so it’s off that way…
So off we went, that way, in and out of the Salcombe streets, up to the church for the first set of carols, and not a
Vorderman in sight (Ed. WGAS’ ‘joke’ from the Circle Up. You had to be there…actually no, the key ‘humour’ element was missing then, too.). Then off up the hill we went for the first time, down the steps and back past the On Down, and then back up the hill past the church – part two – where the FRBs were off down the steps for the second lap. There was an RSPCA van parked by the church and, when we explained that the report of an animal in distress was only Overshot carol-singing, they asked if we could please restrict his singing to birthdays and bar mitzvahs in future. We did explain it’s even worse in an enclosed space.
Next, the sound of a fair maiden’s voice could be heard – or was it a siren calling poor fishermen onto the rocks, or unsuspecting hashers to a watery grave? Only one poor hasher, ReEntry I believe, couldn’t resist and was not seen again. The rest of the hash ran in the opposite direction, so all but one was saved from the second round of carols.
The siren, Olive, plus her cohorts Di the pie, Ging Gang and Goolie, were next seen kerb-crawling while on their way to North Sands, the excuse being that they were hurrying the hashers along. We thought we were saved from the carols, but round three/two was ahead at North Sands – although, in fairness, there were some lovely mince pies thanks to Di the pie and other refreshments supplied to warm the cockles of your heart. The Bar Steward, Blue Nun, had us playing Russian roulette with the shots: was it Amaretto, a Russian Vodka or even red diesel from the Russian front?More carols and not a Decker in sight. This time, the lifeboat had to be told to stand down as it was only Overshot singing again and not calling for help while drowning.
Four mince pies later – “Lovely pies, Di the pie” – and the running slowed considerably for me, but not Can’t Come, who was off up the hill shouting “Last one to the top is a rotten egg!” to Ching Chong. Still, Ching Chong slowed him down later when she hobbled Can’t Come at a kissing gate (on our way to Malborough, as we thought…).
In other News:
Rubbery has spent three days in bed this week.
Rizzo announced she had kicked out all the checks that were not kicked out by others.
Pugsley was only there for the alcohol. “True Hasher”.
Tyred Bunny can sing.
The RA, Goolie, was keen to present his report, so some poor hashers didn’t even get to the bar in time for some well-earned liquid refreshment. In the absence of any notes, errors and omissions excepted or even expected, I believe Filth might have won two bottles of wine (Ed.: Goolie was pronounced overall winner of the Fancy Dress competition by the lovely waitress whom had been coerced into adjudicating…I’m sure it wasn’t purely coincidence that he was the closest hasher to her at the time…) and Cow Pat definitely got a well-deserved tee-shirt for completing, or at least turning up to, 1200 hashes.
Down Downs went to Can’t Come, the hares Blue Nun and Olive, Gary, Cow Pat (Ed. nominated Blown Off) and possibly Filth? Please put your name forward to be the scribe for next week if I have missed you out. (Ed. Lowtarse [for a second lap] and Morticia were also awarded Down Downs)
Cow Pat was later telling us how her first hash was the second for SH4 and was at Blackawton during
the evacuation and there were loads of American GI there.
On on to Boxing Day Hash and Swim at CHALLABOROUGH.
Happy Christmas
WGAS