The Words according to Anus Felus

Hash 1446 – HOPE COVE

The Words according to Anus Felus
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Arrival at Grand View Road on a windy Wednesday night saw people frantically driving and parking in the limited few spaces, only to get out of the car and be blown back up the road by the 30mph winds.

Headed straight for the West, against the weather, we set out with instruction from Filth, the hostess with the moistest ham. Some more than others (Morticia & Gomez) were given detailed info, which gave no extra help as three got lost en route. One of those being Olive! Lost on her own hash.

Re-entry first caused confusion near the start after running down a check only to come back and find it was the right way. He and myself then spent a few miles catching up and having a chat over various Xmas activities.

Another check/X confusion point at South Huish was quickly and quietly resolved by the front runners. Coming back down the hill I heard a “petrol” shout by Rizzo, only to find it was me running back down the hill at speed. Apparently, she thought I was a motorbike. Once caught, Dimwit was looking for some lip-action with the other sex at a kissing gate: this further steamed his glasses up at Filth’s, later.

Over to the other valley in South Milton, where more miles were spent chasing Re-Entry and Tor. Looking at his rear for so long made me wonder about his name origins (Ed.: this little musing makes more sense if I reinstate Anus Felus’ understanding of the hasher in question’s name as Rear Entry…or perhaps I’ve had it wrong all along?) and if it came from seeing only his rear on a hash? Back into Galmpton, where two X marks pointing left, when actually the route was straight on, caught most people out. This also resulted in people missing the brand new footpath never included on a hash before – and which still remains virgin hash territory.

It was around this point further back on the course, that Dimwit slipped over down some gulley and was washed out by the Sawmills. This may have been because Shaggy’s head torch number 1 (Ed. generously loaned by Lactaster) ran out of juice and then her head torch number 2 also ran out (Ed. did he not have his own [surely superior] head torch?).

Down the dip into Burton Farm, where the hills have eyes – or lots of sheep, as we got closer – and then ON ON to the ridge way.

Back at HQ and the snazzy kitchen, where Filth’s pressure cooker went off when Re-Entry asked for a beer. She tried charging him a tenner, then Spotty Botty also had some issues with her PayPal and cash. Everyone was eventually reported as all back after a missing marker by the Sawmills???? (Ed. disputed?) All piled into the lounge for some J Spuds and Ham, and the down downs.

A great hash route and fantastic host.

Anus Felus

Down Downs were awarded to:
• Filth & Olive (absent, as already departed for the ski slopes and a 4am flight – or else still MIA somewhere near Hope Cove…?) – heroic 11th-hour hares
• Rizzo – birthday for Tuesday 2nd Jan
• Rusty – 300 runs milestone shirt
• Overshot – running the ‘true’ trail (7 miles)/Rubik’s Cube boasts
• Gaffer – ‘geographically embarrassed’ (again)
• Gomez – [a very good reason]

ON ON to EAST ALLINGTON!