The Words according to RE-ENTRY

Hash 1460 – FROGMORE 🐸

Wow, what a Hash.

So, the clocks going forwards means one hour less rain, apparently. If this is the case then the big guy upstairs decided to cram that missed hour between 7.30pm and 8.30pm. Nice Buns clearly forecast this as she was nowhere to be seen, probably blaming lambing.

It was without doubt, the wettest and shiggiest hash I have ever done. Astoundingly, there was actually some flour left to follow, although it had very much reduced to speckles on poo for the majority. Fortunately, Pugsley had laid a similar (ish) Hash a few months back (when it also rained), so some educated guesses could be made.

There is now a new look FRB crew in SH4 with myself and Anus Felis being joined by Pocket Rocket and Ice Ice Baby, who have both grown about 2ft and now leave their poor father, Mr Softy, trailing in their wake.

Relegated from the rank of FRB are: Triple Top and Blown Off. They have joined the likes of Shaggy, Bit of Rough and Overshot (who was spotted making an outrageous shortcut early on) at Championship level. (Ed. Fighting talk…👀 😆).

Wet Spot joined the Shorts, but still managed about 6 miles, so he may as well have done the Long. There was online debate about whether Gaffer was on the slippery slope to the Walkers’ route: well, he made the first slide by only completing the Short (and even then he chose to walk around the pool instead of wading through). I’m sure he will be back on the Long at Aveton Gifford (unless the tide is in).

There were howls of laughter at the start of the Hash when an unknown plonker went on his arse – possibly Dickass – and whose fluorescent yellow shorts turned rather brown. However, little did the laughers know what lay ahead, as I think everyone went over at least once – some into double figures. I turned around at one point to see Anus Felis’ head torch (presumably with him attached to it) disappearing sideways towards the ditch, only to find myself doing an identically spectacular splat about 10m further on.

Spotty Botty was awarded a T-Shirt from Post Xmas. It was the ‘Long Suffering’ award, which was given in recognition of what the rest of us have to put up with.

Ching Chong fell and got a mouthful of mud. She was kindly offered some water by Olive – and then upset her by spitting it out. There was enough water in the sky to refill the bottle, I’m sure.

Olive reportedly swam through a flood, but left her underwear floating behind. Maybe this is why Gaffer avoided it?

Dirty Nights became hypothermic and exposed, she slipped into a semi-comatose state and dreamt of her forthcoming honeymoon in the Maldives, whilst putting her hands on Squash Balls .

Little Chef managed to lock Bit of Rough out of their car, resulting in an urgent SH4 taxi to retrieve the spare keys.

Squash Balls regaled us with multiple jokes, none of which Ging Gang got (as per normal), the least bad punchline of which revolved around God, Noah and the Carp Ark.

Unfortunately, at this point, Squash Balls clearly hadn’t looked outside, as the Ark was no longer required. Instead, hashers had to battle their way home through a heavy blizzard. The council, in true fashion, were spending our taxes on a pointless road-widening scheme near ‘Sign of the Owl’ rather than gritting the roads, which resulted in Mountain Rescue having to assist bemused second-home owners making their way to Salcombe in their slick-tyred, shiny vehicles. When Dimwit stopped an oncoming vehicle to ask what the hold-up was ahead, the response he got was “The Weather”. Talk about stating the bleedin’ obvious.

DOWN DOWNS were awarded to:
Sterling Hare-ing: Morticia and Gomez
Crazy Virgin: Rob
Going Commando: Olive
How not to use a car key: Little Chef
Turning 18: Pocket Rocket

On On to AVETON GIFFORD. Don’t put your coats away yet, the Met Office is cheerily forecasting continued downpours throughout April.
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🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy highlights (if anyone happens to upload any…) from the flooded Frogmore hash 1460 on 27 March 2024, and afterwards at The Globe, by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook Group 📸 🏃🍻

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Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:

HASH 1461 – AVETON GIFFORD – 3 April, 2024
CIRCLE UP: Timbers Car Park,
Tidal Road, Aveton Gifford
What3Words: huddle.complain.shepherdess

ON DOWN: The Fisherman’s Rest
Fore Street, Aveton Gifford, Kingsbridge, TQ7 4JL
What3Words: enthused.spillage.parsnip

Hares: Shaggy & Anus Felis
RA: Olive

🍟 If you would like food, please order with Shaggy* by TUESDAY NIGHT (2 April) 🍟

HASH MENU:
Soup & roll £6.00
Salt & pepper squid £9.75
Blazing shrimp £9.95
Sausages & chips £7.00
Battered Sausages & chips £7.10
Burger & chips £7.75
Scampi & chips £9.25
Chicken goujons & chips £8.50
Beef chilli nachos £12.50
Whitebait £8.00
Veggie burger & chips £7.75
Chips £3.95
Chips & cheese £4.70
Onion rings £3.95

*You can submit your order as a comment on the SH4 Facebook Messenger group chat (or get someone to do it for you, if you’re not on it!): https://www.facebook.com/messages/t/2797329210374208/

Please see the Hash 1461 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group for full details.

Add your photos of the evening’s shenanigans at AVETON GIFFORD (Weds 3 April, 2024) to the Hash 1461 photo album.

📝 If you’re the lucky Scribe at AVETON GIFFORD this week, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk – by Sunday evening, ideally – thank-you-please! 📝
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RAMBO SALCOMBE MARATHON 2024
Saturday 21st September, 2024

Registration is now OPEN!!

🌟 🌟 🌟 Register here: https://bit.ly/RamboSM2024 🌟 🌟 🌟
OR scan the QR code, below:

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AND watch this space for more exciting hashing events coming up in 2024, including (but by no means limited to) Summer Solstice, the SH4 1500 Hash, and Pre-Xmas!
ON ON! 👣
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SH4 MercHASHdise (OK, OK, I know: needs work…)

Show your love for SH4 and wear your membership proudly with a bespoke SH4 car sticker!

Available exclusively to SH4 members (and, to be fair, anyone else who wants one…) for the bargain sum of £0.50 ea., you can afford one for every vehicle in your fleet! 😊

See Rizzo at the next meet for yours 👣