Hash 1465


7:30 pm - 11:00 pm


Crooked Spire
The Crooked Spire Inn, Ermington, Devon, PL21 9LP
Hares: Doggy Style &
What 3 Words: taller.rolled.pressing

Event Type

The Words according to HEKKYL

Hash 1465 – ERMINGTON

On a rare and sublimely dry Spring evening (did I just say that? It sounded weird..) the stalwart members of the SH4 Knitting Circle assembled for the second time in a month outside The Crooked Spire in Ermington, ready for an hour of vigorous chatting.

By coincidence another Lycra-and-fluoro-clad group and their similarly-attired dogs had assembled in the same place and at the same time. This caused some consternation amongst the Knitters; did they all want to join us? How would we all fit into one car? Were they aware of The Rules? Had they brought their own Prosecco? Did they know that Twisted Sister won’t eat cheese & onion crisps?

We needn’t have worried; after the pain of the GM’s joke (I think we’ve got it down to a dull groan after the initial agony when she cracked her first one..) introductions were made to a virgin, who turned out not to be a virgin having come before, but had forgotten what it was like. “She’ll soon remember” smirked Dimmers, “and that’s the last we’ll see of her” he prophesised, wisely. Littlest Virgin Of The Year, Evie of Ermington, made a brief appearance on Twisted Sister’s shoulders. Having seen enough, she declared herself the winner and went home; now that’s a strategy I wish I’d thought of sooner…

Intros done, it was on to the usual notices (Fallen Woman’s memorial hash, 1st June, Brixham, wear bright clothes – see poster, below, or Filth for info). Then came the lies from the hare – and what a stonker of a lie THAT turned out to be… A few other general delaying tactics and whatnot, then we were off and on down, or up, the road… unless you were a Short, in which case please wait in the car… WAIT IN THE CAR? Whoop-de-doo, this is my kind of hashing! So I went and waited in the car, only it was the wrong car and off they went, up the hill at, according to Spotty Botty’s watch 100mph. I dare say it felt like it, knowing what I know about Doggy Style’s driving; she’s A Woman Not To Be Messed With, especially when she’s in the car, but also out of it…

Overshot reported to me that the trail took them up the renowned and much-dreaded stinging nettle track. I know the one, having done it in shorts just the once – and that was enough. Overshot was very happy to be wearing tights; whether Sniffer is, is another matter, but he didn’t seem to care. Blown Off blew off on account of not wearing tights going up the same track; I expect he has some spectacular welts this morning… [Ed. the Words were submitted, very promptly and conscientiously, on Thursday morning – TVM, Hekkyl. Apologies from the Ed. for ponderous publication]

Speaking of inappropriate attire, Boaty admired GHR’s dress which he had ironed specially for this occasion. GHR insisted it was a manly t-shirt in the gruffest voice he could stump up, but no-one was convinced.

Back in the pub, the lone barman skilfully pulled pints and juggled pasties as a queue gradually formed. I secured a pint for Jyde, and left him half my pasty so the he had something to gnaw on while he waited for his own. 9pm came, the queue had dispersed, and still no Jyde. Zoe the dog decided to help relieve me of Jyde’s half of the pasty despite being on a diet. 9.30pm came, Pugsley arrived and started a new queue. The barman resumed pint-pulling and pasty-juggling, but still no Jyde. Then I remembered, he was probably at home showering on account of the hash being on his home turf. So I gave the rest of the pasty to Zoe, I think she deserved it more… 9.40 and Gomez arrived, outraged at the length of the short, it being longer than the long apparently. Maybe I hadn’t got into the wrong car at the start after all, and maybe Jyde was still out there and not in the shower… As the queue reformed for a third time, Jyde eventually made an appearance, looking very fresh and fragrant. So he was in the shower after all. He still managed to complain that the short was too long; well now that he’s a fully-fledged grandad, I expect he thinks it’s his right to.

GHR delivered the evening’s eulogy. He muttered something about somebody panting in his ear in the back of the car but I couldn’t tell if he enjoyed it or not. Yeuk complained about his aftershave but I’m not sure if she was also the mystery panter… After that, the evening went downhill as GHR’s jokes became increasingly ‘Plympton’, as Ging
Gang put it. And we all know what that means; mentions of Viagra were many, and Ging Gang felt it necessary to further inform the group that the effects of the drug were to be noted in a different body part to the ones mentioned by GHR. That was a deflationary moment, I can tell you…

There was something about Wet Spot keeping up with Triple Top, thanks apparently to Viagra, but I had tuned out by that time so I’ve no idea what that was about. Olive gave it beans – or ate beans; one of the two. She fair blew – or was it flew, I can’t read my own writing here – around the trail and beat a good many hashers back to the pub. For once…

Congratulations but no Down Down went to Barbarella for completing the Plymouth Half on Sunday. The Down Down was withheld because a) it was only a half and not a full marathon, and b) because she got the bus. Now I would have thought that was exactly what merits a Down Down, but I’m not in charge and I don’t make the rules…
The hare got a Down Down though; despite looking remarkably fresh after laying that trail; maybe she got the bus too. She was in shorts, but no welts to be seen so clearly managed to avoid the stinging nettle track somehow.

Other Down Downs went to:
• Birthday Boy and 1200 runs award-winner Goolie (“1200 runs and all I get is a lousy t-shirt”)
• Much younger Birthday Boy, Rubbery
• Grandad and shower-fresh Jyde
• Wet Spot for keeping it up. Or maybe I wrote that down wrong…
• Olive for her beans

ON ON to The Journey’s End, RINGMORE

🏃 📸 🍻 You can enjoy highlights from the daylight Ermington hash 1465 on 1st May 2024, and afterwards at The Crooked Spire, by checking out Hash Flash’s purpose-built photo album on the SH4 Facebook Group 📸 🏃🍻


Next SH4 Hash 🐷👣:

HASH 1466 RINGMORE – 8 May, 2024

The Journey’s End
Ringmore, TQ7 4HL
What3Words: repeated.curls.elbow

The Journey’s End
(as above)

Hares: Goolie & Lo’-T-Arse

For full details, please see the Hash 1466 event page on the SH4 Facebook Group, when available.

Add your photos of the evening’s shenanigans at RINGMORE (Weds 8 May, 2024) to the Hash 1466 photo album, linked to the 1466 event page (on Facebook), when created.

📝 If you’re the lucky Scribe at RINGMORE next week, please submit your edition of The Words to thewords@sh4.org.uk – by Sunday evening (12 May), ideally – thank-you-please! 📝





Saturday 21st September, 2024


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