|Hash 1164 – The Royal Oak, Malborough
Hares: Filth and Sex Wax
Weather: Some wind and rain! It must be Autumn.
Wingnut from Essex who was staying with Squashed Balls
Drippy Fanny joining the Plympton regulars.
To be honest I wasn’t paying much attention at the circle up, until I half heard overshot say “Who’s doing the scribe tonight? How about a bit of rough?”, so this is what I can remember:
There was No history this week as overshot had something he thought far more important to share. As he tried to draw us in closer, making Boaty panic it was a cheap “pull my finger” gag, the announcement was made that it was “hug a drummer day” (or hug the guy sitting down at the back of the band or Overshot or something). A couple of hugs later peace was restored to the world, until the announcement of… (no, not the pre-Christmas hash bash – that was made by Rear Entry this week to try and catch us off guard)
… Squashed Balls Is laying another hash! After the infamous one, that saw distances well into double figures, children in tears, and a years self-imposed haring hiatus. Halloween has been chosen for the return. Was it the thought of the rocky horror themed run or the fact it was being held back at Totnes rugby club that sent shivers down people’s spines?!
Anyway, after a brief overview by Filth (Long 5.5 miles, short 3.5 miles, walkers 2 miles, flour in the usual places) we set off…
… and as if by magic, we were back at the pub:
The Hash was considered a success, being too flat with not enough fields, but very imaginative and not the usual route (some of those statements were true). The drinks stop was excellent, with a wide selection of food and drink including a chocolate port from the ‘80s
Overshot was very happy to have beaten Rear Entry back (we know it’s not a race…) who, along with some others managed to get lost in the woods claiming they did 4 mile loop, rather than the 8 paces round an oak tree everyone else took. It wasn’t Rear Entries night, as earlier he managed to bag a car park space and pre-order some food in the wrong pub!
There were some loved up hashers this week, with Boaty back and falling into hedges (or was he pushed by Gaffer?), and Whisperer having to be called back on several occasions from wandering off into the night after long walks on Dartmoor earlier in the day.
As the hash veered down to North Sands, there were squeals of (possibly) delight as some hashers were got by the waves spraying over the sea wall. Meaty Whore’s dog left an almighty stinky poo on the entrance to a cull-de-sac to the woods, thought he had got away with it until everyone had to run back through it.
Hekkel, Jyde and Twisted Sister somehow managed to miss the drinks stop due to going up the road following a lost hare (Sex Wax) who “didn’t know where she was going”. Some ungentlemanly behaviour by The Jerk (or was it Boaty), who left poor going down stranded in the woods and Streaky S.H.I.T. leading people the wrong way on the short was also reported.
There was a plea that stories of the hash to the RA are in the strictest of confidence, as there was a rumour of something shameful happening on the hash being reported by Flagenolay, but the details were very sketchy: something about no dog and Rizzo. After a fair amount of prying / confusion from the RA, it only turned out to be another alfresco wee story… Other unconfirmed sightings on the hash included alpacas on the long, or was that short, may have been rabbits… again surrounded in confusion.
The RA noted there are quite a few namings coming up, although none were done, the candidates are:
Running lates son, who was sporting his dad’s shirt
Alice, Meaty Whores better half
Derek, who may have a fetish for badgers
Finally, it was an emotional hash for some as Dimwit and Marty left the East Allington car share after many years. Also, Lazy Git thought he had broken his toe earlier in the week and couldn’t make it. He had to make the effort though as he was driving the Avonwick car share with its new members Dimwit and Marty.
Thanks to the pub and down downs went to:
Filth – Hare
Sex Wax – Hare
Wingnut (The blonde from Essex) – losing mobile phone on top of a car and finding it
Flagenolay – causing RA story confusion
Whisperer – being loved up
Drippy Fanny (Plympton Harriet) – First visiting hash (or more likely because of her name)
Now that’s over, it’s ON ON to The Horse and Groom in Bittaford.