The Words According to Gomez

Stand In Words Editor – Rubbery until next AGPU – volunteers welcome…..

Hash 1433 from Ermington – Hares Pi and Doggy Style
RA Spotty Botty

The rain had stopped, Hurrah!, upon our arrival.
Circling up outside the pub I noticed some questionable parking.
Doggy Style had completely abandoned her car in the middle of the road using the excuse that she didn’t want to get blocked in as she needed it to assist the Hash at a dangerous location.
A new one on me but acceptable.
Rubbery, meanwhile, just dumped his giant van, as is his want, and never tries to justify it. (Ed – I see no problem with that!)

Dry runner Nice Buns graced us with her presence even though there was a threat of further rain, I think with the ulterior motive of cajoling us all re upcoming Hash socials.
A tall virgin chap with a dog, that was resplendent in a red flashing collar, stood around looking lost.
We found out from Rizzo that his name is James and without him we would not have been able to run on the private ground that night. Many thanks to him.

Rizzo gave us the , now traditional, lame joke followed by the, also now traditional, stitch up for a mug to do the Words. Hi there!
Pi used all her stern teaching skills with a very authoritative Do’s and Don’t ‘s about the Hash and we were off through the village and into the park.
Zoe took the opportunity to do her usual early run dump which, after the clear up, left Morticia and me at the back along with Cowpat.
Alongside the river we went and then up into the woods and I mean UP!
Lots of things happen in woods, especially at night, some I can divulge.

A tiny frog needed to be rescued from the path before a hefty hasher squashed it. Step forward Ching Chong who ‘shooed’ it away. I think it was her but it may have been another Harriet. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention in class Spotty and your notes were somewhat brief to say the least. The word ‘Frog’ was the only clue! Apparently there is a vicious tree lurking in the deep woods around Ermington. This has claimed Overshot and Pugsley in past hashes and tonight claimed Shaggy by attacking her left thigh. Quite nasty too as poor Shaggy had to give up and accept a lift back in the car from Doggy Style. Missing her pint too so she must have been in trouble. ( Since seen photographic evidence… eek! Hope it heals soon Shaggy)

A welcome return to The Jerk, who has forgotten how to Hash and got lost in the woods. Know Nuts to the rescue. Similarly Lazy Git, Traffic and Jyde needed to be escorted by Tight Nuts who is a local. Wait a minute – Jyde is local! Hurry up back to hashing Hekkel – Jyde needs showing the way.

An early beer stop awaited us on exiting the woods. Thanks Rubbery.
Very nice but stock up on the Baileys next time, there’s a good chap. (Ed – I only serve up what is procured by the Hares – sorry)
Directed into the fields we traversed much fresh ground. Pity it was dark really.

The long/short split followed but I can’t say much about the long because I couldn’t be ar**** to do it. I did hear it was good although Pi took to hiding in a hedge leaping out on unsuspecting hashers giving them an early Halloween fright. Such fun! Poor Pugsley ran around one big field totally unnecessarily as he was following the Hare’s strict instructions not to go over a locked gate.
Seems there is an exception to every rule and that time was it! Myself, Morticia, Cowpat, Yeuk and Lady Godiva were spared the same fate as Running Late was on hand to give advice,
Thank you.
An easy run back to the village and the rain held off .
After last week’s hash I don’t want to see another drop!

A great Hash – thank you Hare’s.

Back at the pub we tucked into home made pasties and gossiped..
Who Gives A S**t now deals in contraband crumble puddings. Work that out if you can.
Gaffer was sporting some very fetching pyjama bottoms which he insisted were just comfy trousers. Anyway, according to Yeuk, he doesn’t wear pyjamas. Too much information leaving many that heard it mentally scarred!

Wet Spot was, well, Wet Spot. Zoe had a great time conning bits of pasty or any other available treat from all who would pay her the slightest attention. She made friends with the locals including the barman who was also taking great delight in all our hash names.

Spotty Botty called us to order as the guest RA and proceeded to entertain in her usual humorous style.
Happy Birthday was raucously sung to Morticia now being 70yrs young.
Down Downs were awarded to:-
Pi – a scary Hare
Doggy Style:- a caring Hare
Tight Nuts:- The Woodland Rescuer
Morticia:- The Birthday Girl
James the virgin:- for allowing us to run on private land
The Jerk:- for an auspicious return

The Pub was thanked heartily and it’s On-On to The Creeks End, Kingsbridge.
Gomez